Jun 1

So I wanted to update y’all on Antageddon 2010. I wanted to. HOWEVER, since it has been raining pretty much 30 hours a day for as long as I can remember. Which one might imagine would drown all the little bastards right but I’m pretty sure our particular brand of ants are resilient enough to withstand a flood of biblical proportions.

Nonetheless, we did feel like we were starting to make a bit of progress in the War On Ants before the floods came upon us so we’re hoping that if we keep up with the 14 different ant-killing methods we were using that we will be able to reclaim our yard for the good guys (that would be us).

We managed to successfully pull off Kieran’s birthday party this weekend which was stressing me out because I had wanted to have it outside and normally you can depend on relative warmth and excessive sunshine in June in the prairies. Alas, it was not to be. With a forecast of nothing but rain for the foreseeable future I was able to accept that we would not be partying outside this year and I got my papier mache on. I made pinatas!

And I don’t mind saying they were a tremendous success! We used the pinata loot as goodie bag fillers so the kids all collected their own treats after each one broke. Because the pinatas were very nearly free to make I was able to spend money on buying good candy instead of that crappy pinata candy that you can buy at stores. They were absolutely perfect for the age of kids we had, not breaking too easily but also not being so hard that a 4 year old couldn’t possibly break it open.

Let me tell you, you haven’t know fear unless you’re a man standing on chair and holding a pinata while a number of four year boys swings a plastic bat directly at your junk as hard as they can.

The hubby is very brave.

This year the request was for a Batman cake and after searching out a simple idea for a Batman themed cake I was fairly happy with the outcome:

Please ignore the rather wobbly outlines of the cityscape. I bought super strength icing colour to get the perfect royal blue and black colour. This was the result:

And if that’s what it did to their tongues then you can imagine why it was no surprise when we woke up the next morning to our son yelling excitedly “MOM! DAD! COME AND LOOK! MY POOP IS BLUE!!!!“. Excellent.

But what I’d really like to know is how my baby…

…became a Batman-costume-wearing, mini-golf-playing, bike-riding, joke-telling, sweet, beautiful boy?

May 21

Oh and here we are again! Two weeks! Oops!

I’ve been doing stuff. Nothing important or worth mentioning except this: I’m waging war on ants. Not all the ants of the world or even in my city. Just my yard.

Problem is, the ants are badass. There are so many anthills in my yard you can no longer see the grass. Which would be bad except that our grass is 50% weeds and 50% dead. Details.

We’ve never had the misfortune of moving into a home with a really awful lawn before. And the truth is, the lawn at our current home wasn’t bad when we moved in last fall. I suspect our rampant neglect of the outside (in favour of the renos going on inside) last fall contributed to the severe decline of the lawn. Unfortunately we are now paying the price. I believe the ants have been sent to punish us for our poor citizenship. Maybe the neighbours are secretly planting them in our yard at night.

I know y’all are just chomping at the bit to give me your solutions for ant troubles. Borax! Cinnamon! Cream of Wheat! Baking powder! Cornmeal! Diatomaceous Earth! Cayenne Pepper! Sugar solutions with bait! I’m telling you I’ve heard enough suggestions to last me a lifetime and I suspect many of them do work, at least on a small scale. But I’m telling you what is taking place in my yard is Antageddon. The Antpocalypse, if you will. We are looking for extermination, not just pest control here.

After spreading a full gallon of diatomaceous earth on my yard today (well, most of my yard – it wasn’t ENOUGH to get quite all of the yard, if you can believe it) I came to the conclusion the only real solution here is full scale chemical warfare. I’m torn as to whether or not we should bother with attempting it myself or calling in the professionals. But something is going to happen and soon. I don’t care what it takes! I’m ready for the insect smackdown to commence.

Those little bastards are going to see who’s in charge around here.

Aren’t you so glad I took some time to post? I know. Worth. Every. Second.