It’s been a month since Kieran started preschool. He anticipated preschool with nothing but enthusiasm and pure excitement. It couldn’t come soon enough. There were no tears the first day, or any other day for that matter.
Everything was the best! Every activity the most fun! Every child his new best friend! There was the regular run-down after every class. What stories were read, what games were played, what the teacher said and what Kieran said to every single person at each point in the enthralling drama that is preschool.
And of course we heard what every other child said and did and to whom and for how long. But very quickly we started hearing about one child in particular far more than any other. “G was taking toys away from the kids.” “G threw a book at me.” “G was hitting kids.” All parents are required to volunteer twice monthly as a class parent-helper and after I spent some time witnessing G in action I started feeling that maybe we were dealing with more than regular 4 year old impulsiveness this time.
This child was not able to sit still. Not. For. One. Second. Not just squirmy. Not just distracted. Completely unable to focus on any task or sit quietly without touching or hurting or crawling all over another child. He never interacted normally with other children but grabbed the toys he wanted without asking, acted out in frustration by hitting or throwing, and seemed incapable of following instructions. When I looked him in the eyes it seemed he wasn’t hearing me or my words were not actually being processed in his little head. His eyes were blank.
My concerns stem from the fact that the teacher does not have the proper support in the classroom. Her “help” consists of two daily parent helpers but the parents rotate every class and so there is no consistency and clearly none of the parents have the training required to work with a child who has these kinds of behavioural issues. The teacher did a great job given the considerable pressure she must be under. We felt that there was little we could do as the only thing that would make the situation better is another teacher and the only way that could be accomplished is by raising tuition significantly which certainly wouldn’t happen quickly even if we were able to convince the board that this was necessary. So we decided to look at moving him to another school.
We were lucky enough to find another school very quickly and one that we feel will be an excellent alternative. Let me be clear. I understand that these are four year olds we are talking about. It’s preschool, not boot camp. Four year olds are impulsive and still working out how to control themselves and behave in a group setting and follow instructions. But I know when a child is having a negative effect on my child and I recognize the limitations of the situation. Believe me, I agonized plenty over the whole situation, whether I was being too rash, whether I was being unfair.
But when I explained to Kieran that we had decided to move him to a different school and that mommy and daddy thought it was the best thing for him, his first response was “A school with no G??? Oh, thank you Mommy!!” In that moment I knew we had made the right decision. Some experiences are too precious to sacrifice in order to ignore your gut feelings. Next week Kieran starts at his new school and he couldn’t be more enthusiastic and excited. After all, how many kids get to start school twice? 
