Dec 20

In the spirit of spending too much on Christmas decorations, a few of my neighbours have put up those huge inflatables in their front yards.  I have nothing against this but I laugh every time I drive past them. One is supposed to be Santa riding a polar bear and another is supposed to be three snowmen riding a toboggan.  But it’s been so windy lately that the Santa looks like he’s riding a bucking bronco at the rodeo and the snowmen look like they’re in some kind of wrestling match or else doing some very naughty.  I doubt the manufacturers were thinking of a climate as windy as ours when they designed the flimsy anchor mechanisms for these festive creations.

In a moment of insanity I decided to brave the crowds at Walmart yesterday to try and get a new car seat for my son who outgrew his baby seat, oh, about three months ago.  Safety first, and all that!

While the actual shopping went ok, I was immediately annoyed by the many shoppers who cut me off in the aisles without any sign of remorse for their bad behaviour.  Because we all know that my shopping comfort is of the utmost importance. Whatever.

I wrote it off as temporary madness brought on by the consumption of too much Christmas baking.  The real issue was when I got to the checkout.  I had a Walmart employe as my own Christmas elf in tow, pushing the big box withe the car seat on a dolly.  I picked a line at random as they all seemed to promise an equally lengthy wait.  But the little elf instructed me to move into a different lane, saying “This one is open.”  This was despite the light that was turned off and a sign on the conveyor belt reading “This lane closed.”  But I figured the elf knew what she was talking about so I obeyed.  I put all my purchases on the counter and as the cashier finished with the person in front of me she looked up and glared at me frostily.  “This lane is closed,” she said condescendingly.  “That’s why there’s a sign there saying ‘This lane closed’.”

Ok, I admit it.  I was pissed off.  Normally I wouldn’t say or do anything except maybe in my head. But this time I couldn’t take it.  “There’s no need to be rude,” I said firmly, throwing my items back into my cart. “I’m just following the instructions of your employees.”

For once I actually stood up for myself. And would you believe it? The sky didn’t turn red or anything! I still changed lanes but at least I didn’t allow some cranky old woman to walk all over me. I wasn’t trying to be ignorant or push the rules. I was doing what my very own Christmas Walmart elf told me to do.  There’s an all purpose Christmas excuse for you: THE ELF TOLD ME TO DO IT.

Anyway, the cashier managed to spit out a half-assed apology and I left feeling satisfied.  But I was thinking today that I wish I was brave enough to stand up to people more often.  To call bullshit when I see it. 

The night before the hubby and I were out at the new Galaxy cinema downtown.  After the movie we were walking back to our car when a twenty-something year old man approached us asking where the nearest gas station was.  He rattled off a sad story of his three daughters, left in his car some three miles out of town where the vehicle had run out of gas.  They are on a “medical trip” he tells us.  We tell him the location of several of the nearest gas stations but it quickly becomes apparent that whatever he wants, he is really not trying to get to a gas station.  He switches approaches in his attempt to get some money from us.  First he rambles about the ignorance of people in this city, then the fact that the gas stations won’t give him a jerry can.  Then back to the medical trip story again. 

I wish I had the balls to say “Listen buddy, if you need money for something then be man enough to say it, for crying out loud!  Don’t tell me lies about being stranded out of town.  If someone had driven you into town from your car then they certainly wouldn’t have dropped you off in the heart of downtown.  You are clearly miles from the edge of the city and every entrance to this city has at least one gas station.  You certainly wouldn’t have walked all this way looking for a gas station because you would have passed about 25 gas stations on your way.  We told you where the nearest gas stations are and if you can’t afford the deposit to borrow a jerry can then you clearly can’t afford to pay for the gas you say you need.  People might be more willing to actually give you money if you tell them the truth. If you told us you were hungry we’d be very willing to buy you a meal. But from the incoherence of your story my first guess is that you want to get high. If that is the case, take a hike.” 

It sounds good in my head anyway. Maybe on the street it would get me, I don’t know, BEAT UP.  

And in other news…we finally entered the 21st century and got a cell phone!  Wow!  I feel all grown up.

Oct 16

Fiddler on the Roof is one of my all-time favorite movies.  If you aren’t a fan of musicals you probably wouldn’t appreciate it but I absolutely LOVE it.  One of the main themes of the movie is the stabilizing force of tradiiton in our lives and how and when it is appropriate, and even necessary to break with tradition.  The idea of family traditions has popped up in some different parenting literature that I have been reading recently and so it has been on my mind.  These different sources have suggested that traditions, whether as big as an annual family vacation or as little as eating pancakes on Sunday morning, create a sense of safety and stability for children.  So I have been considering the rituals of my childhood and wondering which of these are traditions I would like to carry on with my own family and which new traditions might be worth introducing.

Many of my favorite family memories involve our Christmas traditions.  My mom would bake with us and make chocolates in preparation for Christmas parties, decorating the tree at the beginning of December, the home-made advent calendar that we reused, year after year, the Christmas eve tradition of attending church, then touring the city to look at Christmas lights and then home to eat special goodies by the light of the Christmas tree, enjoying Christmas music and each other’s company.  In these times, differences were laid aside.  Or at least any squabbling or other negative happenings do not inhabit my memory of those times.  It elicits feelings of warmth, contentment and genuine appreciation of my family.  When I consider these times now I feel that they somehow help counteract the blatant commercialism of that time of year.  They are rituals that I will attempt to continue.

Of course many traditions take place around holidays but there are some other ones that stick out. My mom took me (and my sisters) each on a special weekend trip when we hit age 13 as a sort of “rite of passage” into adolescence.  It wasn’t anything crazy – just to Regina to stay in a hotel and do some shopping. But it made me feel special and grown up and it spoke words of reassurance to me.  I knew I could always trust my mother and that I was very important to her.  In fact, our very common ritual of going out for “coffee” taught me the same thing on a smaller scale.  It was, and still is, in that setting where we learned about our family, the history, the secrets, where we learned about life and death, joy and sorrow and God and friends and expectations and disappointment and love and compassion.  We fought and laughed and cried and sighed and shared.  I still look forward to these moments with my mom and sisters and I already enjoy them with my daughter. This is one tradition that is very important to me and I intend to continue as long as I draw breath.

In earlier years, before sleeping in became exceedlingly important to keeping the teenage hormones under control, my dad used to make breakfast most Saturday mornings.  I have some fond memories of watching the Bugs Bunny & Tweety show to the smell of hashbrowns cooking.  It was a small thing but I think I agree with the “professional” assessment that it makes kids feel safe to know what’s coming.  The world can be scary and unpredictable.  It makes a big difference to have certain things you can depend on.  Family should be one of them and if these little moments can birth an atmosphere of protection and love for my children I’m going to do my best to make it work.

Oct 3

When the Columbine and Taber shootings happened within a week of each other in 1999 it was the first time most people had considered the possibility of these kind of massacres.  Remember those days?  In the past week there have been three such shootings in American schools.  These rampages are becoming all too familiar.  There was one at a Montreal college recently.  It scares me that I am no longer shocked by this kind of event.  It kind of makes me scared to send my kids off to school.  There they are in a basically unprotected setting – hundreds of kids and not nearly enough adults to fight off someone armed with automatic weapons.  No wonder schools are frequently the targets of these attacks.  If a person is looking for a place with minimal security and a large number of targets that won’t fight back then a school is ideal.  Do we need to have actual security at our schools?  Do they need to be armed?  I don’t like this idea but I’m not sure how to reconcile the need for safety with the desire for children to maintain their innocence.  I guess I should be glad that these shootings happen less frequently in Canada but somehow that just isn’t really all that comforting.

Mar 25

I really appreciated this post by Real Live Preacher.  It applies to all aspects of life and it has given me a reasonable approach to dealing with narrow-minded people.