Sep 13

I have learned a few things since we began the renovation process several weeks ago and I am here to share my wisdom with you:

  • There is more dust inside the walls and floors of your house than you ever imagined possible. You can’t possibly prepare for it. So don’t even try.
  • There is no excuse for painting anything flesh-coloured (as in Caucasian flesh, other skin colours are much classier choices for paint).
  • Sleeping on air mattresses gets old really quickly. But remembering to pump it up with a little extra air every few days goes a long way. If you are wondering why you are so damn uncomfortable…it could be because your mattress is only at 25% capacity.
  • Renovations make me bitchy cranky.
  • My husband and father-in-law have a bottomless fountain of energy from which to draw. It must be genetic. I don’t know how they do it but they have been working on the house 20 hours a day without stopping for 10 days now. My father-in-law is taking vacation time to come and help us, which is incredibly generous. However – WORST. VACATION. EVER. Sleeping on an air mattress and working til you drop every day is not my idea of a holiday. Just sayin’.

Random stuff I’ve been wanting to tell the internets:

  • Elementary school in Boston was guarded like the freaking White House. Picking up a child from school was practically a secret service mission, what with no entrance to the school without filling out visitor forms. School here is like a free-for-all. They don’t care how the kids get to their classrooms, so long as they get there. They don’t care who picks them up or where they go after the bell rings! The teacher’s first parent letter indicated her goal for the children this year is independence. I fully endorse this goal but after the red tape, overprotective atmosphere over kindergarten I’m getting whiplash just dealing with it all!
  • Everyone keeps saying Saskatoon has had no mosquitoes until September. Remarkably, when we arrived in town. The mosquitoes waited for me to show up and then moved in to feast. I am undone. Really, just covered in bites!
  • I have never been so aware of the easygoing Canadian attitude before. After being away for a while it has never been so apparent. I like it!
  • All moving companies are, without exception, completely corrupt and out to rob you of every last penny.
  • Things have been rocky with our moving company, or can you tell?
  • They charged us the equivalent of several mortgage payments extra for “packing services” because we ended up putting a lot more on the truck than we originally intended (because we bought our kitchen for the new house in the states and brought it back with us). But the kitchen was all in boxes. It required no extra packing. Loading yes. Packing no. Loading charges did not change. The cost of the Lose Weight Exercise changed, which is fair. The cost of the packing changed, which is not fair. We will contest this.
  • We were told our belongings would be delivered no later than September 10. They are arriving tomorrow, September 14. Why yes, that is smoke coming out of my ears! Thanks for noticing!
  • It is really refreshing to make such a big move and already know where everything in the city is and how to go about getting settled. Really refreshing! We know where the grocery stores and schools and parks are. We know which events to look forward to. We know which friends we can call and beg to help us with our home renos…. Ahem.
  • My Massachusetts driver’s licence broke the computer system of the local licence provider. I went to switch back to a SK licence and they had it all printed out but realized they hadn’t entered it correctly so they could create a new photo id. So they tore it up and started over. And then they started over again. And then they called the help desk. Five times. And I waited for a full hour (which I know doesn’t seem like much to those of you in big cities, but for Saskatoon if you have to wait five minutes it’s a HUGE FREAKING DEAL). And then they told me to go do what I needed to do and they would call and let me know when I could come back. And then they called and said my Massachusetts licence broke their whole system and it will be a week before they can get the bug fixed so I should come back then. Awesome.
  • A large percent of people here can’t pronounce Massachusetts. You would think that anyone who can pronounce “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan” without any problems would already have the linguistic dexterity necessary to pronounce MASS-AH-CHEW-SETS. Most common mispronounciations: Mass-a-two-shits and Mass-a-two-sits. It amuses me.

Ok, I think we’re done. Hopefully the blog is working and you can all read this. I’ve been experiencing technical difficulties recently so if you’ve been seeing nothing past August 22 and now suddenly see several new posts, it’s not you, it’s me.