I may have mentioned that my daughter has developed a little problem recently.  The problem manifests itself like this: my five year old turns into a 42 year old, disgruntled and cranky product of middle-management, a micro-manager.

You know that boss you have who doesn’t trust any employees to use their common sense and interprets any individuality or spontaneous action as a threat to their authority? The one who constantly interferes with your projects, asking questions and making suggestions, even though they are incapable of understanding your plan or contributing in any useful way?  That’s my kid.

She has her (uninformed) ideas about how the world works and she always has A PLAN for everything and God forbid I should deviate from THE PLAN. Half the time her plans are made without my knowledge or guidance which means they will almost certainly not be viable because, hello? Just because you PLANNED to play with your favourite Cinderella barbie before bed, does not mean that it’s the best time to do so.  

I feel exactly like I have an annoying manager following me around, getting in my way, and questioning my judgement and reasoning on every decision and making foolish suggestions, just to piss me off.  

I know, I know, she’s five. She is just exploring her personality and the limits and all that stuff.  It doesn’t mean she’s not irritating the hell out of me! I try to encourage her to do all kinds of things in life. But aggravating me (or others) does not make my list of Important Skills To Learn Before Graduating High School. Of course, like most micro-managers, she throws a complete hissy fit when her suggestions are thwarted.  The anguished weeping and frustrated arm flailing and unintelligible wailing is enough to make me want to say “If you think you can do a better job, BE MY GUEST!” 

Is it bizarre that I’m questioning myself because of the constant badgering of a child who has only been out of diapers for a couple years??? I think it is.

Yeah…I’m going to have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Sunday to organize the toilet paper and scrub the bottoms of my shoes. Ummm…thanks.

Avery, kids, mommy stuff, parenting | 1 Comment »

We went apple picking last weekend and I am totally feeling nostalgic because this weekend we are drowning in rain.

I’ve never been apple-picking before for several reasons. First, we have never lived in an area where the land was such that it could sustain an entire apple orchard (One or two apple trees in a yard, yes. Orchard? No.). Second, we had friends back in Saskatoon who gladly supplied us with more apples than we could ever want for free.  

So when I saw the price tags of our idyllic apple-picking adventure I may have cursed. Loudly.  But still, it was a lot of fun. The only disappointing part was that the picking is over way too quickly. All that’s left after that is to eat as many apples as you can so as to get more apples for your $25.  Between the four of us we definitely ate another $25 worth. It’s amazing no one vomited. Seriously. AMAZING.

Kieran literally walked between the rows of trees picking up apple after apple off the ground and taking one bite before letting it drop and moving on to the next one.  Awesome. 

OMG. Couldn’t you just DIE from the cute?

Boston, family, kids, Saskatchewan | 3 Comments »

…when your child has an expressive speech delay? What changes? 

Nothing.

Except everything changes just a little. Or maybe it’s just me. There was always a niggling concern in the back of my head, even when most people assured me that all boys are slow to talk, my son didn’t talk until he was 4. I wanted to know. And I didn’t want to get to a point where I wished I had taken steps to help him earlier.

Still, hearing the words out loud made my heart hurt just a little. Even though I know his speech problems are due to his many ear problems and not some failing of mine. Even though I know he will likely catch up to his peers without a problem now that he is getting help from Early Intervention. Even though I know that his so-called “therapy” will be like play time and he will probably love every minute of it.

Still. A little part of my heart is sad knowing my baby, through no fault of his own, isn’t living up to his potential.

I know, I know. Suck it up, princess. I should be thanking my lucky stars that we’ve got help and so fast. I should be grateful that he doesn’t have more serious problems. That a year from now my son will mostly likely be yammering until my head aches, just like his sister. I am not complaining. I’m truly thankful that he is going to be getting the help he needs. 

Maybe what really makes me sad is I am realizing this is the first of many times in his life where he may not reach his full potential, whether by his choice or not.  As a parent I want nothing more than to see my kids fulfill all the promise I see in them. Even if it’s something as trivial as being able to say “I’m sorry I just hit my sister in the head with this matchbox car.” 

kids, Kieran, medical, parenting | 3 Comments »

Some of this…

Aaaaand a little of this…

And let’s not forget this…

And this too…

Avery, beach, kids, Kieran, moving | 8 Comments »

Today I took Avery to Kindergarten Orientation – which she insists on calling OREO-tation, despite being corrected. Because we may not know much about the education system, but we DO know our cookies around here. It’s all about priorities, folks.

We managed to work through the great backpack debacle of 2008 and found a backpack that did not make me pour bleach in my eyes. What design won my daughter’s heart, you ask? Why, a cupcake decal, of course! Because while we DO love our princesses, baked goods come first in our family, my friends. PRIORITIES.

Last year in London (Ontario, not England) Avery became fast friends with a little girl in her class who was petite and girly and so adorable I was tempted to put her in my pocket and take her home many times. (Don’t get me wrong, no one takes the place of my own girl, but this child was so petite I literally could put her RIGHT IN MY POCKET. You’ve gotta admit, that makes it tempting.) When we moved we promised we would send a letter once we were settled and we still intend to keep that promise. Of course we didn’t know that it would take us THREE MONTHS to finally move into our own permanent place. Avery loved to play with little A, but she also dearly loved to chase A’s brother G around on the playground after school.  It developed into a seriously intense obsession crush and she looked forward to playing with both of them after school each day. And now, three months later, what do we hear about every day? The love letters she is going to write to G, how much she misses G, all the things she needs to tell G about her new house, with nary a mention of her once-BFF A.  The girl is lovesick!  Because girlfriends are nice, but girlfriends’ older brothers are waaaay nicer!

Short list of Very Important Things in Life: sugary snacks and boys.

Why, hello teenage hormones! You seem to be about 5 or 12 or 37 years too early!

Avery, funny, kids, school | 3 Comments »

What five year olds are good for:

-unrelenting optimism and enthusiasm
 -convincing a two year old brother to breastfeed a doll while bottlefeeding they’re own “baby”
 -small household chores (FINALLY! THANK THE SWEET BABY JESUS!) like picking up toys and clearing and setting the table
 -keeping you humble
 -making one feel loved with 45 drawings a day that say “To Mommy From Avery” and by saying frequent spontaneous “I love you”s
 -appreciating the simple, fun things in life like swinging really high and pink bubble gum and staying up past bed time
 -anticipation and the pure joy of reaching various exciting events
-creativity and imagination 

What two year olds are good for:

-sweet snuggles
 -helping one appreciate curiousity
 -empathy and concern – like a few weeks ago when I was overcome with frustration and stress and sobbed on my hubby’s shoulder and Kieran ran to me and patted my arm, saying “Tay (It’s OK) Mama! Tay!”
 -delight and wonder
 -standing on the outside of the glass shower door and watching mommy shower like it’s the freakin’ olympics and then throwing toys in the toilet while mommy shrieks, but is helpless to stop you unless she runs around naked and dripping wet
 -hiding the sticks that are part of the frame of a toy tent – we have yet to find them – suspect they endedup in the garbage without our knowledge
-very satisfying giggles

Avery, family, kids, Kieran, parenting, the good stuff | 1 Comment »

I have this little hair problem. And I don’t mean that in the “I’m having a bad hair day” kind of way. It’s been a problem since I had kids and there doesn’t seem to be a styling product around that can deal with it.  

Every day I wash my hair and blow it dry with a hair dryer. And EVERY DAY it turns out looking like this:

Please try to ignore the big frown and my pasty white face. I had to concentrate hard to take the picture.  

Do you see the problem? On my right side the hair flips under and on the left it flips out.  It doesn’t matter how carefully I dry it with a rounded brush, gently coaxing it to flip under. It doesn’t matter how much mousse or other styling products I use (or don’t use).  It doesn’t matter if I sing love songs or swear like a sailor.  Same result.  

I never had this problem before I had kids. Women often mention changes in their hair following the birth of a child. A difference in texture or even colour is not uncommon. So I am aware that it is kind of ridiculous that the even though my hair is fundamentally the same as it was pre-kids, this  basically small quirk is DRIVING ME BATSHIT CRAZY.  

I don’t think there’s really anything to be done about it. Just thought I’d share a random fact about myself with the internets on this fine Sunday afternoon.  

***I am also aware that my hair is a good inch longer on the left side.  I think the hairdresser had a seizure or something when she cut my hair. But I don’t think that should make much of a difference. I’ve had this problem longer than I’ve had this hair cut.  ***

hair, kids, random | 4 Comments »

You know what might suck? If your family took a lovely walk to The Frog Pond at the Boston Commons because it was too beautiful of a day to spend indoors (that’s not the sucky part). And when you arrived at the pool your daughter tore off her clothes, slapped on her bathing suit and hurried off to refresh herself in the water, slowly making her way to the centre of the pool. And as she was doing so an angry sounding man came on over the loudspeaker saying:

“YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. THERE IS NO RUNNING AT THE FROG POND. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RUN. WE HAVE SNIPERS HIDDEN IN THE TREES TO SHOOT DOWN THOSE WHO WILFULLY DISOBEY THE RULES.  RUNNING IS NOT ALLOWED. I REPEAT, NO RUNNING ALLOWED.”

And IMMEDIATELY following this announcement, the fountain in the middle of the pool, located mere inches from where your child is standing, is set off like a f*cking geyser and scares the girl-child out of a year’s growth and before you can say “Old Faithful” she sprints across the water like the hordes of Satan himself are after her, until she slips on the concrete while leaping out of the water and nearly cracks her skull open on the edge. And everyone looks at you like you’re just the kind of parent that make that kind of announcement NECESSARY.

But seriously? If they tell a veritable swarm of young children not to run, which we all know is contrary to the law of nature, the very least they could do is give kids a few seconds warning before letting Old Faithful scare the living shit out of them! 

What else might suck? If your conscientious and generally rule-abiding daughter is attempting to keep your mischievous and generally authority-bucking son from playing with a water hose at the pool. And if she noticed the life-guard making his way over to ask your son not to play with said hose and freaked the eff out and started screaming “I DON’T WANT THE WATER-GUARD TO GET MY BROTHER IN TROOOOOOOUBLE!!!!” and was shaking and terrified like she thought the “Water- guard” was going to cleave off her brother’s head and skewer it on a stake by the side of the pool as an example to other toddlers of what happens when you flaunt the rules. Because apparently the frequent “NO RUNNING” announcement over the loudspeaker had instilled THE FEAR OF GOD in her.

And everyone looks at you again like you are those parents while you reassure your daughter that the lifeguard does not drink the blood of disobedient two year olds.

Not that it happened to me. I’m just sayin’. It might suck.

funny, kids, not that it happened to me, parenting | 4 Comments »

The Good News: The Diabetes Center was ALL KINDS OF AWESOME and were 100% helpful and got me all the prescriptions I needed and I’m pretty sure there were rainbows and bunnies shooting out of the air vents.

The Bad News: More fun times to be had on the phone with THE INSURANCE COMPANY and THE MAIL-ORDER PRESCRIPTION COMPANY and THE INSULN PUMP SUPPLY COMPANY (capitalized to indicate their purely EVIL natures) in order to accomplish the dispensing of three months worth of medication and pump supplies. I expect to be pissed off again before too long because that’s just exactly the kind of lovely person I am.

The Good News: The Diabetes Center even managed to get bloodwork done for me, which isn’t fun, but I mean, really! Bloodwork! Without any phone calls! Or yelling! It’s an effin’ miracle! 

The Bad News: I defy anyone to tell me there is something more humiliating than bringing two kids with you into the bathroom while you -erm- *collect* a urine sample. The ONLY saving grace was that it was a private washroom and not a multi-stalled, potty-house where everyone could here Avery say “Mommy, why are you washing your hands BEFORE you go pee? What are those little wipes for? What are those BOTTLES FOR??? WHY DOES THE DOCTOR WANT TO SEE YOUR PEEEE???” and Kieran simply yelling “PEE!! MAMA! PEEEEEE!!!!”  I am absolutely POSITIVE that the whole waiting room could hear us in there. I left quickly, and without making eye contact with anyone. Ah, dignity, how I miss you.

Boston, doctors, kids, medical, parenting, the diabetes, woes | 3 Comments »

Silly old me actually believed the newspaper which forecast +2 degrees today and dressed my kids in their new spring jackets when we went out today.  It was NOT +2.  Or even -2.  But the kids looked cute.

Avery, kids, Kieran, winter | No Comments »