Nov 5

So here we are, just two months after rolling out of Boston for good and I can’t believe we lived there for over a year. As always, the last couple of months before the move have flew by faster than we imagined possible. And after moving home and getting settled, I can’t believe how much I actually miss the East Coast. More than I ever thought I would. So here, in nor particular order, are the things I’ll miss and the things I won’t miss about living in Boston…

Things I’ll miss:

1. The old. The history of the area, the interesting things that happened there and the fascinating people who made them happen. The amazing architecture and the buildings that have seen centuries of use and places where generations have walked.

2. The new. I have never, not even once, claimed to be a big-city girl. But it turns out the city can grow on you and that it has a lot to offer. There is always something different to do and see. Festivals, museums, concerts and a different park to walk in or place to visit every day of the week.

3. The beach. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, I miss the ocean. I had completely underestimated the restorative effects of a fabulous view on the human psyche.  The sound of the waves on the shore at night, the smell of the sea air (which I thought I would NEVER get used to!), just staring out at the ocean. I can’t express how much I miss it!

4. Our backyard community. We lived in one of four townhouse style units that shared a backyard. At first I thought it would be awkward to go into the yard and know that our neighbours had a clear view of us or to go outside and find them already there. But the reality was that it was a wonderful social atmosphere. Our kids adored having playmates that were easily accessible. I loved that they had a huge yard to play in, which was extremely rare where we were living. And the fact that there was almost always someone to visit with was good for me, particularly in the early days when I was feeling kind of isolated. It was also a pleasure to share yardwork, gardening and other outdoor activities with our fantastic neighbours.

5. Cheap shopping. Food, clothes, books, need I say more?

6. The people. Amazing people. Really interesting and wonderful people and a few friends I hope to keep for a lifetime.

7. The Boston accent. It felt so strange and foreign when we first got there but now I will always think of it with fondness and hearing people with the same accent will make me miss our Boston people.

8. The diversity. Another benefit of the big city, especially one with sooo many universities (like 80 something universities in the greater Boston area) is the huge variety of people you have the opportunity to meet. It’s awesome to be exposed to so many different cultures in something as generic as a trip to the park or the grocery store.

9. Public transit. We loved riding the subway! In a few months I went from being totally intimidated by the T system to embracing it completely. We never drove into the city. We could easily walk to the subway and be in town in ten or fifteen minutes. It was convenient and inexpensive and we got a lot more Lose Weight Exercise as well as feeling good about not driving so much.  The big city i much more conducive to a fantastic transit system.

Things I won’t miss:

1. Traffic. Not so much that there are lots of cars, although there ARE. But also that it takes so long to get places. When you meet new people it frequently happens that you easily live 60 minutes or more (sometimes MUCH more) from each other. This makes it really hard to invite someone over for casual drinks and to create opportunities to get to know new people.

2. Being far away from our family, friends and country of citizenship. It was just way too far from family. Even though we don’t currently live in the same city as most of our family members, we are much closer than we were. And it’s surprising how much closer you feel just by being in the same country.  As for our country of citizenship, we genuinely missed being able to participate in our country’s systems and processes. We missed the big and little things. It’s a strange thing to be living in a society where you hold no status (in terms of voting etc.). It’s a little disconcerting.

3. The lack of universal healthcare. I think my posts from our first summer in Boston adequately sum up the frustration of trying to get set up in a very different medical system. I am so glad to once again be able to go to the doctor without having to pay for the visit and to know that I can get prescriptions and medications easily and for a much lower price.  I feel much safer, medically speaking, in Canada. Even though H1N1 seems to be running rampant where I’m living. :)

Before our one year adventure Boston wouldn’t have made our top ten list of places to visit. In fact, it didn’t register at all! But now I can’t say enough about what an amazing place it is to visit and I constantly surprise myself with how much I miss being there.

Goodbye Boston. We’ll miss you!

Oct 26

It’s been just a week since I took the major step of unpacking the books. Our living room has one full wall of bookshelves that we have carted across the country and to the east coast of the USA and back to the prairies again. My books are my way of carrying home with me. Unpacking them and putting them back on the shelves signifies coming home in some sort of meaningful way for me, no matter our location.

Each book is associated with a memory, experience or time in my life journey. They remind me of good times and and comfort during all the different phases of my life. Yes, there are some books on the shelf I’m sometimes embarrassed to continue to put back there (*cough* Twilight series! *cough*). Some that remind me of my years of dogmatic religious legalism, some that remind me of projects I started and never finished or goals I have yet to accomplish, and some that just sit there, year after year, still unread.

But there are other books that hearken back to childhood and squirming around on the bottom bunk with my sisters while my mom read aloud. The books I read when I was expecting my first baby. The novels that have made me laugh and cry. The recipe books I use when I cook for my family. The biographical stories written by my Oma before she passed away. The textbooks from various university classes. The volumes that have shaped me and changed me and have been there along the way, part of who I am, like old friends. Letting any of them go feels like a betrayal of the worst kind.  (My husband probably wishes I would get in the betraying mood a little more often – at least when it comes to books!)

We’re home, friends. For real now.

Aug 22

It’s day #2 on the road and we are settled in for the night at a generic two star hotel in Elkhart, Indiana. So far we have been treated to more whining and fighting that we thought possible of two children, although it’s hard to blame when they haven’t gotten to bed at their bedtime for somewhere in the vicinity of two weeks. They are exhausted and as much as we like to say our kids are flexible and go with the flow, there’s no denying that the impending move and the upheaval of packing and saying goodbye to all their friends and the home they’ve known for the last year is likely taking it’s toll.

On the upside, tonight we ate dinner at a Cracker Barrel restaurant where our delightful server told us the reason they don’t serve beer at their establishment is that she would spend all her breaks drinking it. Awesome.

I realize now that it’s been nearly two weeks since I last updated which is not good. The only excuse I have was that we threw ourselves into enjoying our last few days in Boston. Seeing friends we have made and spending some time at our favourite places. We will definitely miss our East Coast home more than a little.  As usual, it is only after one year that we are just starting to get the feel of the place and figure out what we love and what we don’t (post coming soon on that) and, as always, knowing you are leaving permanently creates a load of sentimentality in my little head.

But here we are, on our way to home. Real home. Small(ish)-town home in the prairies where friends and family and new jobs and a new house are awaiting us. I know it will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me if I tell you that I am absolutely thrilled.

But for the next week we will be continuing our road trip through Illinois, Wisconsin and Minnesota and then up to Manitoba for a short visit with family there before we go home.

Home. Sounds good, doesn’t it? :)

I have so much more to say on the subject but that will have to come when the time is available.  Thanks for all the well wishes to those of you who follow me on Facebook!

Oct 3

I was part of the way through a post about the amusing differences in brand names and product sizes and shapes across the border but I just wasn’t feeling it. Here’s where I’m really at: missing home.  Family-home. Friends- home. Saskatchewan -home. Even – gasp! - Ontario-home.  (File that under “Things I Never Thought I’d Say”!)

It’s always like this after the first month. I know you are probably saying Wait-Haven’t you been in the USA for three months now??? And you are right. But after spending the first two months in one city and then moving to another city for the last month, we have essentially started over twice.  

So. Here we are, one month in (in the current city). And I have the blues. Par for the course.  After the boxes are unpacked and the routine is sort of established, the loneliness sets in. Unfortunately, we are finding it much more challenging getting to know people here than when we moved to Ontario last year.  The hubby’s school was a very social environment last year, lending itself to making new friendships. I found some convenient groups to be involved in and was lucky to meet some people who were also new to the city and eager to make friends.

It does not feel like it’s happening as easily this time. However, memory fades the initial struggles very quickly.  I keep asking myself if it was this hard last time?  Thinking back, I know there were days when I was really lonely. Maybe it was this hard. But we are really missing the fun of hanging out with other adults. And, despite joining some groups, we are having trouble finding other adults who are interested and willing to hang out.  So there’s that. 

For me it’s such a process of getting familiar with a place that really goes a long way to making me feel “at home”.  It’s coming. But not as fast as I’d like. And, as always, days and days of rain only makes me feel the world is a gray and dismal place. And I don’t mean “gray” in the comforting “let’s all just get along” sense, either. Being in a different country, feeling everything is just a bit off, never knowing exactly how things work or when I’m going to use the “wrong” word, is contributing too. Let’s just say it’s a perfect storm of circumstances and headspace that are mixing up a super-cocktail of gloominess around our house these days. We’re beyond tired of always being the newbies and we just want to make some friends already, which is the one thing that you just can’t rush through. 

I am so TIRED of going to parks/school/lessons and feeling nothing but cool indifference from the other moms. I know people don’t usually want to go out of their way to make the new kid feel welcome.  It’s uncomfortable for them, too. And I know I have a responsibility to try to open up, make conversation, blah blah blah. But wow, is it hard these days!  I was lucky enough to get to know the mom of one of Avery’s classmates who just happens to live really close to us and she has been nothing but warm and friendly and the only thing keeping me from completely going off the deep end while dropping off/picking up Avery from school. But I can’t make one person my social circle. And I can’t direct all my desperate friend-needing energy at one person. That’s totally unfair. I am really trying to keep the hope alive that I will be able to break through the frosty exterior and get to know these other parents at school/lessons. But it’s not going well.

There’s nothing we can do but keep going. Keep trying. Keep saying “hi” and making small talk where it is received. Keep on keeping on. The next step is going to have to be church. Not that we are opposed to church. But we have often been tagged as “black sheep” in church settings because of our views and it causes an understandable reluctance to throw ourselves back into that setting. But church is often a good way to get to know people. So I guess that’s the next experiment in our friend-seeking journey. All of this is a very good reminder to me that a little friendly small-talk may go a looong way in another person’s life and that I need to give a little extra when new people show up in my various social circles.

The great news is that I am just two weeks from seeing my very best friend in the world for the first time in two and a half years! Time, money and distance have kept us from spending any time together and our last (very short) visit was just days after Kieran’s birth, and right smack in the middle of my BFF’s move from Saskatchewan to BC so neither of us were in any condition to bond. I think it’s safe to say we are both losing our minds with excitement! It’s the light at the end of the tunnel for me right now and it’s so good to have something to look forward to in the near future!