Jan 26

November was uncharacteristically busy for us. That is to say we’ve never had a November as busy – and as FUN – as November 2010. The big events were two trips. The first, a family trip to Banff, Alberta. The second a trip for only adults to see adult friends out in Ottawa.

So first, Banff. We booked the trip back in the fall as a simple getaway. We’ve never been to Banff and we thought it would be fun to take the kids and to just hang out together, see the mountains and enjoy ourselves as a family. Plus, we really needed a little holiday.

Our hotel had an awesome indoor playground and a couple of pools which added up to “Why even bother leaving the hotel at all?” We could have spent 3 straight days in the hotel and driven home and basically considered that a successful holiday. But of course we felt that it would be a shame to come all the way to Banff and not actually spend any time in the mountains.

We took the gondola up a mountain…

…and hiked up to the top…sort of from the top.  :) We started where I’m standing when I took this picture and finished way at the top of the hill.

It was FREEZING. The kids were so thankful to have parents like us who made them walk all the way to the top to enjoy the view. They couldn’t have been HAPPIER. Don’t they look absolutely thrilled?

On a different day we did a really nice hike up to see a waterfall…

…during which our kids complained non-stop. But you totally can’t tell from the pictures, can you?

Overall it was a pleasant trip with having new experiences together, doing some really interesting and fun activities, and just enjoying time together swimming, playing and watching Mr. Bean with our kids for the first time in our cute hotel room that had a nice fireplace and free firewood!  The only negative part of the trip was that for some bizarre reason our kids slept like babies (by which I mean, of course, that they woke approximately 800 times a night which is exactly what they did as babies). Being in a standard sized hotel room we were all a bit tired after three nights of this. But generally the trip was very satisfying and we watched a beautiful sunrise over the mountains on the way home.

The other really major and exciting event in November was that the hubby and I got to take a trip WITHOUT CHILDREN! This was our first real trip far away from our kids. We spent two nights away from them over our anniversary in August but we were only half an hour away from them. Any other nights away have just been sleepovers at our close friends’ house. But this time we left our babies in the care of my sister and some good friends’ and boarded a plane for Ottawa.

We spent the weekend with a group of wonderful friends. We partied like childless people. Staying up late without any thoughts to the consequences, went to grown-up restaurants and walked around downtown Ottawa without hearing a single complaint (other than our own).

I can’t tell you how completely enjoyable it was. I rediscovered the part of myself that weekend that has been lost since I had kids. The slightly more easy-going, more free-spirited and carefree me (I say slightly, because if I’m honest, I’m always going to be a bit uptight!) was able to surface once again. It’s amazing how freeing it is to be responsible for only yourself for 4 consecutive days and how quickly 24 hour-a-day responsibility for little people can stifle certain parts of you. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I love staying at home with them. But purely adult conversation and activities with people who I really, truly enjoy spending time with? BLISS.

Of course, hanging out with grown-ups didn’t keep some of us from acting like children…

But we did take a grown-up trip to see Parliament.

It was a little hard to come back home but we did miss the kiddos and it was so nice to come home to their happy faces. I think they might even have missed us a little, but what with getting spoiled rotten by people who love them while we were away I don’t think they even really cared that we were gone.

I consider that a successful trip.

Nov 22

I’ve been back from my trip for a few days now and I can’t decide if it feels like I never left or if I’ve been ruined for normal life forever. I’ll tell you this, traveling alone is a pleasure that may only be fully appreciated by parents of small children or others who spend their days being responsible for Very Demanding People. Maybe I came off as antisocial but I didn’t care at all because I was ALONE! And I read a book and ate my snacks and enjoyed every single minute of my aloneness.

Visiting my friend and her son was a real pleasure, too, of course!

And what was my poor, abandoned family doing while I was living it up traveling and having some quality girl-talk? Did my babies miss me? In a word: NO. In fact, they had so much fun that by two days after my departure they were asking their father why they don’t have this much fun when mommy is around?

Ahem.

There is nothing to be done but for me to take more frequent sabbaticals so that my darlings can experience more joy in life. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the good of my offspring. I’m giving like that

May 27

Dear Diary,

Last week the family took a trip north of the border for the first time since we came to the United States last year. The trip was about as good as can be expected with a five and two year old in the back seat, which is to say it was exhausting.

See? The kids were so annoying they even exhausted themselves.

On the way to Montreal (our destination) we stopped at the Ben & Jerry’s Factory in Waterbury, Vermont. I know people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Those people have obviously never been here:

We ate ice cream…

…toured the factory (and I use the term “tour” very loosely as they basically played a short video and then we walked into a room with big windows overlooking the factory floor and we could watch the machines chugging out the ice cream), and spent some time hanging the children in trees romping outside…

…and honouring the dearly departed.

We were thrilled to cross the border to our home and native land and to see that great maple leaf flying in the breeze. Also, Tim Hortons beckoned us from the side of the highway. Mmmmm…

Our arrival in Montreal was heralded by the hourly generation of fire (!!!) ON water (!!!!), which was seven kinds of awesome!

The second day we went to Montreal’s Biodome where our good friend T decided to feed our youngest child to the birds R.O.U.S. (Rodents Of Unusual Size) (R.O.U.S. not pictured here).

Not that I blame him. The kids were a bit annoying what with the “show me” and the “carry me” and the “feed me”.  I’ll be damned if having kids isn’t a bit trying at times. 

The biodome features four sections with varying climates from arctic to hot as the surface of the sun tropical and most popular with kids was this slide straight into the sea otter tank which amused the offspring for quite a while. I was amused by another parent who continued to exclaim “Look! It’s a BEAVER! A BEEEEEAVER!!!” to everyone around her when the animal was clearly NOT a beaver. Not everyone can be as smart as I am though. 

As I watched my daughter observing the marine life in the tank I couldn’t help but be struck by one thought: fish are boring. 

What isn’t boring, is watching adorable little duck feet paddling around in the water and watching ducks dive under water. Ducks are cool. Fish are dumb.

Giant penguins heads are also cool.

Slightly less cool is how I looked in these rocking 3D glasses at the IMAX theatre at the Montreal Science Centre, where we arrived too late to explore the centre but still early enough to see a sea creature IMAX film (are there any IMAX movies about something other than sea creatures? Because if there are, I’ve never seen one.) narrated by Jim Carrey. I’d go so far as to say there’s nothing funnier than Jim Carrey making cracks with sexual innuendo about cuddle fish.

Highlight of the day for me was eating awesome poutine at a great little restaurant with good friends. And speaking of good friends…here they are!

Well, diary. This blog post entry is getting long so I will try and finish it tomorrow as I know how excited you are to hear about the rest of our trip. 

Affectionately yours,
Shannon

Dec 10

It’s time for a bullet post. Sorry. If you don’t like it you can come back another day! 

  • I think I have the only five year old in THE WORLD who is afraid of Santa. I know, I know, just weeks ago I was saying she’s about to blow the lid off the whole Santa story. But she seems to have embraced her belief for the time being and that belief includes sheer terror at the thought of the Jolly Old Elf. When she was 2 and 3 years old this terror made a little more sense. But at five I thought we would be able to reason through the whole thing a little better. When I was a child I had my picture taken on Santa’s lap every year from birth to maybe 8 or 9 years old. But I have not been able to convince my daughter to sit on Santa’s lap one. single. time.  This year her school (for some bizarre reason) had a Santa come to the school and the kids were allowed to have pictures taken with him. Avery told me she most definitely did NOT want to do this. No matter how much we discussed it, tried to assuage her fears, and tried to figure out just what kind of unholy atrocities she expected to experience while sitting on the lap of a mythical gift-bringing creature, she would not give in. So I wrote a note to her teacher explaining her apprehension and that she was not to be traumatized by standing beside Santa for a picture unless she changed her mind. Well, bless the teacher’s heart, when Avery’s turn came, she held her hand and walked her up to Santa and even stood with her. So I’m not sure if we’re going to be sent home a picture of our daughter’s kindergarten teacher or if she jumped out at the last second. But either way, it’s a small victory for confidence!
  • Age two has descended upon our household with the vengeance of a…well… a rabid, drooling two year old. Where two year old equals screaming defiance, stubborn refusal to let sustenance pass his delicate lips, stamping, time-outs, shrieking, climbing, hysterical wailing with a healthy second helping of OMG THE STUBBORNNESS! 
  • Today I helped with a PTA fundraiser at Avery’s school which mostly involved wrapping dollar-store presents that the kids were purchasing for family. Can I just say that a two foot long back scratcher is a bitch to wrap!!! And I had the distinct pleasure of wrapping at least a dozen of them. Also? Five year olds have NO CONCEPT of buying gifts for anyone other than themselves, the little narcissists. I can’t tell you how many kids the adults had to gently explain that they had not been given ten bucks to blow on themselves, but to buy for their family members. And still, almost every one of the little narcissists came through the “check-out” with something for him/herself. Five year olds are also utterly incapable of any real thought regarding appropriate gifts for people. To my family coming for Christmas: be prepared to smile in appreciation for pencils that say “#1 Teacher”!
  • It is a fact that if I walk into a salon I will ALWAYS get the stylist who I deem to have the worst haircut/style and will therefore, in my mind, give me a bad haircut/style. But sometimes I am lucky enough to be wrong and get a sweet cut by a large, Hungarian woman with a rat’s nest on her head.
  • Starting tomorrow I will have houseguests every day for the next 18 days except for the 3 days we will be gone on a short vacation. So posting may be a bit sporadic while I’m busy entertaining drinking partying overeating celebrating. Happy Holidays!
Nov 13

This isn’t a great picture but can you see all the bruises on this kid? Wait – I think I heard a knock at the door. Probably CPS coming to interrogate me.

Phew. Just my very nervous imagination.

This kid is having serious issues with falling down. You can maybe see 4 different bruises on his face there if you look closely (top left: walking into a door, top right: falling down and hitting head, under eye: a mysterious and large bruise that appeared after a peaceful night’s sleep [WTF???] and over the bridge of his nose: falling face first off a play structure). There are actually 3 more that you can’t see (in hairline: playing too rough and fell and smacked head, middle of forehead: faded bruise from same, under chin: falling off couch).  

I am really starting to be anxious about people misinterpreting my kid’s many bruises! Would it be weird if I started all my conversations with a disclaimer? The kid is just totally fearless and that results in a black and blue face.  The first thing he did after we arrived at our hotel on Sunday was to take a nosedive five feet off the hotel’s playground equipment and land on his nose. There was a lot of blood and he fell from so high I was formulating a plan to find the nearest ER by the time I picked him up from the ground. Thankfully it turned out not to be too serious  and he only had a bruise in the end.

You can imagine how many other bruises were added to his collection when we spent the day in the hotel’s waterpark.

Nope, no possible way to hurt myself here Mom!

Why won’t you let me run around???

Incidentally, it’s very hard to keep your kids from throwing themselves into a waterfall when you’ve just spent a day at a waterpark full of spraying and splashing water. The difference is lost on them.

Nov 8

I was thinking of “We’re off to see the wizard!” from the movie when I typed that title and it made me smile. But I’m guessing many of you, when reading it, did not have the tune in your head and thus, it was not as thrilling to you.

Nonetheless, that is what we are doing. Tomorrow we head out of the Greater Boston Area for the first time since we arrived here four and a half months ago.  The goal of the trip is fun and relaxation in New Hampshire. I don’t know if this is to be found there, but that is where we’re going. To an area with an indoor waterpark and outlet shopping. What more could I want?

We have no major plans to see historical sights or to walk many miles or to cram too many activities into too short of a time. Although I expect that last thing will happen anyway. Actually I’m mainly just hoping we can have fun without wanting to kill each other. If you’ve done the whole family crammed in a hotel room with overtired children, you know what I mean. 

Don’t know if I will have internet access while we’re away so I may or may not be posting. Rest assured, I’ll be thinking of y’all!

Nov 1

We post pictures of our kids and pretend that they weren’t total monsters when we tried to take their pictures and that they didn’t run around like wild animals on the sidewalks while we worried that they were about to tear off into the street and be hit by a car. And we don’t say anything about how we kind of wanted to throw their candy into the fireplace with a lit match because they were losing their minds with all the sugar and staying up late.

And then we take pictures of the mutha-effin’ GIANT FREAKING CHOCOLATE BARS that our neighbours gave out because they are THE BEST NEIGHBOURS EVER!

Oct 31

It’s Halloween today. I know because my kids woke up in the middle of the night early to howl at the moon. Ok, maybe they weren’t howling at the moon. It was more of a maniacal cackling over their plans to wreak destruction and perform unspeakable acts of evil today. Evil like TORTURING THEIR MOTHER BY WAKING UP AT FIVE IN THE “BLESSED” AM. Happy freaking Halloween.

And just to clarify? Yes, Canadians DO celebrate Halloween. I’ve been asked that a number of times already and yes, we in the Great White North also indulge in trampy wacky costumes and excessive sugar on October 31. It’s not just an American custom.

I don’t do Halloween the way many people here in the states seem to do it. I don’t do the decorations and yard displays.  I don’t do the “adults investing time and money to buy and make slutty elaborate costumes and dressing up for any event where it might be considered even REMOTELY appropriate”. I don’t do dressing up. Even as a child (when I still did dress up) it was less of an exciting opportunity to be “someone else” and more of an excruciating test of creativity and, undeniably, a litmus test for popularity. I could never quite get it right. I could never come up with a funky and interesting homemade or thrift-shop costume and I didn’t have the money to just buy a cool costume. I managed to pass with some winners that I considered acceptable.  But it always felt like a test that I was somehow failing. 

So now? I don’t do it. And I’m happy with that. We carve ourselves a pumpkin or two and I dress up my kids and I enjoy that. So maybe that makes me a hypocrite? Whatevah. I refuse to feel like I’m missing out on something big by not dressing up when it makes me feel exceedingly awkward. Comfortable is the new black, y’all. And black is a Halloween colour, right?

So. I don’t dress up. I DO, however, do Halloween in the stuffing my piehole with chocolate and candy sense. Because if a holiday that’s all about candy is wrong, baby, I don’t want to be right. And isn’t it SO UNFORTUNATE that my 2 year old is still not allowed to eat anything with peanuts/peanut butter in it? It’s a complete and utter travesty that he will not be able to eat any Reese peanut butter cups until at least next year (assuming he doesn’t, in fact, have a peanut allergy) and instead, I will be forced (forced, I tell you!) to consume them in order to keep him (and my peanut allergic husband) safe.  Because that’s just the kind of dedicated mother I am. 

Happy Halloween, folks!