Dear Technology in general and computers in my home in particular,
Stop being such assholes.
Yours truly,
Shannon
PS-I mean, you know I can’t just leave it at that. I’d like to, but I can’t. Where the hell do you get off acting like such mother-effing little bastards all the time? Everything from ipods to blackberrys to laptops to the apple tv all work perfectly for the hubby. I know each of you little bastards wait to pull the “restart me” shit when I’m at the wheel, but knowing it doesn’t make me hate you any less. I can’t even say how many times I’ve had to call the hubby, whining that I can’t get a movie playing for the kids, and I follow his instructions perfectly, only to be thwarted by your diabolical tripwires of what must be on and what must be off and what must be pointed just so and which effing remote to use and when item A and item B are on at the same time then item C needs to be off and then both A and B must be restarted. Seriously? How come the hubby never has to restart one of your ever-loving evil little asses?
I’m not dumb. Well, at least I’m smart enough to follow the same procedure multiple times. But I am on to your little scheme. When the hubby is downstairs and I follow his instructions precisely and whatever electronic device or computer program I am using absolutely refuses to work – until the hubby starts coming up the stairs, at which point they magically spring to life…well lets just say you could be a little less obvious. We all KNOW the hubby is the computer whisperer. I don’t need you to rub it in.
We couldn’t just have a fracking dvd player like every other family…
In closing…stop being such assholes.
