Feb 24

Hi there! Remember me? The so-called author of this little blog? Ring a bell? 

So yeah. I’ve been AWOL for a bit doing all kinds of things. Things like eating out at a restaurant where both my kids punctured holes in their styrofoam cups with their straws within half an hour and created geysers of milk all over the table (Dear Texas Roadhouse, Please invest in plastic cups. ASAP.).

We’ve been busy getting over strep throat and colds and, apparently, brewing up a new batch of colds, too.

We’ve also been hanging out with one of our dearest friends from home who is out visiting us. We’ve been having fun of all kinds including getting up too early, staying up too late, eating loads of sugar, flashing lights, hordes of shrieking children and driving 45 minutes to take the kids to the Rainforest Cafe where there was a two and a half hour wait which we were not prepared for, resulting in one totally devastated little girl who did her mama proud when she didn’t loseWeight Exercise her shit when we walked away and ate elsewhere.

It’s been rainbows and unicorns, people. Rainbows and unicorns. More to come! Tune in tomorrow (or some time soon) for pictures.

Feb 13

So what’s been going on around here lately? Well, besides all of us doing multiple daily shots of penicillin, we’ve been all over the napping and kleenex scenes. Because that’s just how we roll.

My daughter has recently become obsessed with the idea of having long hair and can frequently be found with her head tilted back at an impossible angle, trying to create the feeling of locks that reach down her back. The problem is, what she is imagining is this:

But what she’ll likely end up with, if she grows it out, will be more like this:

The reason I know this is because her hair is just like mine and as much as I’ve always wanted thick, long, supermodel hair, wishing just doesn’t make it so. However, I understand that it will likely take experience with thin and stringy long hair before she is actually ready to accept this fact, so I’m trying to prepare myself for dealing with the funny-looking hair for a few years if she really does follow through with this.

She has also decided that it’s well past time for her 5 and a half year old self to be shedding her baby teeth. She has been walking around wiggling them so vigourously that if they weren’t loose before, they WILL BE SOON. What she will do when she has a mouthful of loose teeth from constant wiggling, or NO TEETH when they all fall out, I don’t know!

Also, my son woke up from his nap today wearing his socks on his hands like mittens. He’s done it a couple of times before and I suspect he put them on his hands before falling asleep and it’s just all kinds of adorable. I suspect it will be less so if he does it when he becomes a bigger and smellier boy with much stinkier socks.

On the home front, there is enough sludge growing in my toilets to execute a hostile takeover of our home and enough dustbunnies in the corners to eat the children. The result of several weeks of sickness. I plan to give my husband clean toilets for Valentine’s Day because I’m romantic that way.

And now, a short rant: Avery’s class has a strict no-food party policy. We are not allowed to send in treats for birthdays or holidays. Some people feel this is excessive but frankly, I find it refreshing. It takes off a lot of pressure for parents and especially for those in the class who maybe can’t afford to bring in treats. Also our kids don’t get pumped full of sugar on a weekly basis at school. But apparently Valentine’s Day doesn’t qualify because despite the rule, Avery came home with a veritable bucket full of chocolate and candy received from classmates for V-Day. I guess the rule-follower in me just can’t handle the mass mutiny against the kindergarten rule of law. Also, is it really a common practice for people to buy gifts for teachers on Valentine’s Day? Because I love teachers as much as the next parent, hell, both my parents are teachers! But I’m just not willing to shell out the cash for gifts beyond Christmas and the end of the school year. Guess I’m just a cheap shmuck.

We are now coming to the end of our daily disjointed blog post. Please wait until the rambling has come to a full stop before exiting the blog. Have a nice day folks.

Jan 17

I’m blatantly stealing borrowing Rude Cactus‘ “weeklies” post format (Hi Chris! Sorry about the plagiarism!). Yeah, my well of original ideas ran dry a loooong time ago and now I am resorting to stealing borrowing.

The weekly bad food idea: caramel dipping sauce with apple slices at McDonalds. While I love  that my kids can get apple slices with their meals instead of fries, I question why caramel dipping sauce is necessary for apples. Yes, I know it tastes sugary good. But seriously, ketchup is bad enough, does McDonalds really want to punish parents with sticky, messy caramel? 

The weekly annoying traffic habits: not signalling. In the area where I live it is extremely common for drivers not to signal when they are turning (left or right, changing lanes) and it is frequently annoying. Also, it is very common for a person to turn left as soon as the light turns green, rather than waiting for the oncoming traffic to drive straight through. Sometimes several vehicles will turn through oncoming traffic, causing the oncoming traffic to have to wait. I think it is incredibly obnoxious but when I’ve thrown my hands up in protest the reaction from the opposing drivers is less than apologetic.

The weekly poor fashion choice: not wearing mittens. Every day this week I was the bad mom who didn’t send my kid to school with a hat, scarf and mittens. I am trying to play it like we are just badass Canadians who are too tough to wear appropriate warm enough clothing but really I’m just a bad mom and my kids and I stand around being cold, our shattering teeth announcing to the world that my children have an irresponsible mother.

The weekly bad mental space: it’s decision making time again! We are once again discussing the various pros and cons of a major decision that will affect our family in a major way and there just doesn’t seem to be an obvious winner at this point. My brain is basically melting out my ears at this point with the pressure. I even made a list of pros and cons! I’ve never felt I needed to do that before in my life and wouldn’t you know it, it didn’t help ONE EFFING BIT. So if you’re looking for me, I’ll be hiding from my husband so as to avoid making any life-altering decisions wherein I’m sure to make the WRONG CHOICE.

The weekly I-get-no-respect-around-here moment: birds. Birds are getting credit for my hard work, if you can believe that. Nearly every meal or snack begins with my 2.5 year old asking me “birds make it?” and me responding “No, the birds did not make your snack,” to which he replies “Mama make it?”.  I ask you, WHY AM I THE SECOND CHOICE IN THIS SCENARIO????  And where did my son get the idea that birds are cooking his dinner every day? And why does he ask me if a bird made his snack when he just watched me put it together? Is there some reality in which birds do cooking and cleaning? Because if there is…SIGN ME UP!

Dec 23

Many of you have asked to see the picture of my daughter’s teacher daughter with Santa and I just wanted to say that it is coming. After a short trip out of state I am now at home with family visiting for the holidays and posting may continue to be sparse for a bit. Back to your regularly scheduled blog reading soon!

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