Ever have one of those nightmares where someone says “Hey! Is that your kid up there?” and you look over and your child is doing something incredibly dangerous and stupid?Me either.*

*I realize she isn’t that high. This is a recreation of actual events and she is only as high as I would let her climb for the purposes of a blog post photo. In reality, my kid was about her body’s length from the flag when I was alerted to the situation. OMG!

Avery, not that it happened to me | 2 Comments »

My daughter quite enjoys drawing and we, like most parents, are frequently in danger of drowning in a flood of “artwork”. So I thought taking pictures of some of her latest drawings was a good way to overcome the guilt of regularly throwing her precious creations in the recycling bin. But it turns out that I am a really awful person and the more I looked at these drawings, the funnier they became. So I decided to do the logical thing and share them with the internet. (Dear Grown-up Avery, I apologize. This is way out of line.)

But really, you guys need to see these!

This is meant to be Batman. During her brother’s recent Batman obsession Avery began drawing pictures of the beloved superhero for her brother. The hubby has taken to calling him Captain Cannabis as the emblem on his chest almost always comes out looking more like a marijuana leaf than a bat. No wonder Batman isn’t ashamed to be seen in public in satin underpants and a plastic utility belt! A lot of things seem logical when you are high as a kite!

Awwww…a child’s tribute to diversity! Isn’t that touching? We are all different in our world. That is, where different means we all carry Canadian (Cannabis, again) flags and are blond and blue-eyed. Well, I guess the fellow on the left is a little different – he only has one eye. We need to accept all kinds of lifestyle choices, people!

Nothing says Teacher appreciation like “You are the #1 best teacher I’ve ever had! At least, so far. I mean I’m only in grade 1 so it could get better than you. But you were really the best of the two teachers I’ve had so far!”

I find this picture extremely disturbing and I can’t really put my finger on the reason. Perhaps the overwhelming need of all these inanimate objects to introduce themselves. Or the inherent irrationality of introducing themselves as what they are? It’s like me saying “Hi! I am woman!” A little off, no?

This picture hung happily on our fridge for quite some time before a family friend was over and ruined it by asking if our daughter had drawn Buzz Lightyear in an anatomically correct way? I’m almost certain the – erm-object on Buzz’ belt is meant to be a tiny rocket ship. But it certainly does look somewhat…inappropriate, doesn’t it? Also, Buzz appears to have a caterpillar for a nose. And Jessie has something questionable going on in her belt-buckle region as well. Oh. My.

Avery | 10 Comments »

Dear Avery,

In the last week you learned to ride your bike without training wheels. I can’t tell you how proud I was to see you finally get the hang of it. You’ve been working on it for a couple of summers now and there was more than one day when you cried in frustration and at least one day when you insisted you would never be able to do it. So when you were finally able to get going on that bike the victory in your face was pure joy for both of us. I’m not ashamed to say I shed a tear or too when you finally got it.

Every day you take another step away from me. You began by riding your bike up and down the sidewalk in front of our house and the house next door.  You soon graduated to going up and down the sidewalk the full length of the street. But before long that wasn’t far enough. You began to beg to go around the block alone. This is something we’ve never let you do for several reasons. First, your sense of direction is not yet that great. Second, we live on a fairly large, and not exactly rectangular block. Third, the last time I walked around the block with you allowing you to “lead the way” you would have made half a dozen wrong turns and ended up somewhere across the river if I hadn’t been there to keep you on the right path. But, after biking around the block with Daddy once, I finally relented and gave my permission for you to go around the block by yourself. Once.

Every day you take another step away from me. In a few minutes you were back and breathless and triumphant. “I didn’t fall once!” you told me excitedly. “Can I go again?” So you went again. And again. And again and again and again. The next day you went at it again. Yesterday you must have gone around the block 25 or 30 times.

Every day you take another step away from me. Independence is addictive. You are now hooked on the sweet taste of freedom and I would be a fool not to recognize that there is no turning back. I thought walking was independence. Then I thought being potty-trained was independence. And then I thought starting school was really truly independence because you would be off all day doing things without me. But this really feels like IT. For the first time you can take yourself places under your own power. Of course we have rules about where and when you can take off but suddenly this whole new world has opened up to you and there’s no going back and you are stepping away from me again.

This independence thing is hard for me. As much as I want to always keep you within eyesight I am forcing myself to keep practicing letting you go because the satisfaction and pride in your eyes when you succeed feels marginally better than wrapping you in bubble wrap and holding you close to keep you from getting hurt. But I’m not going to lie, I am not loving this.

Every day you take another step away from me and even though I don’t like it and I want to keep you close, I couldn’t be prouder when I watch you go. I love you sweet girl.

Love,
Mommy

Avery, mommy stuff | 3 Comments »

My friends, I was overcome! Overcome, I tell you! I found this tutorial to make no-sew tutu and I couldn’t resist because not only is it the cutest thing EVER, it is also the easiest thing ever! A project that appeals to both my vanity and my laziness all wrapped up in a quick and fantastic craft that made my daughter ecstatic. The result:

Tadaaa!!!!

Couldn’t you just die?

A close-up. There are some ribbons to spice it up a bit.

Truly, this project was so easy I may start making them as gifts for other little girls we know. I had enough left over from the first one to make a slightly smaller one. I think I could make a lovely one with less tulle than I used in the first tutu – I packed the tulle really tight so it would be extra poofy, but even half of what I put on would probably still make a sufficiently poofy skirt. So there you have it. You have the recipe for a fast, easy and relatively inexpensive craft that is guaranteed to make a little girl in your life happy. You’re welcome!

Avery, martha moments | 3 Comments »

Not too long ago I was overcome with the need to do something crafty. The compulsion to craft comes and goes with me but when it happens it must not be denied. It has taken many forms (because I am unable to fully commit to any specific form of crafting) over the years and most recently I decided to take my sewing machine out for a test drive.

I have had my sewing machine since my Oma passed away 8 years ago. But it has only been used occasionally and very infrequently for genuine sewing projects. The machine is easily 50 years old and it punished me for neglecting it by chewing up thread and spitting it out in a tangled disaster that could not really be called “sewing”. Before Christmas I was contemplating how much longer I could keep the old girl around when she was no longer co-operating with me. But I was told that old machines could often be salvaged with a simple tune-up.

Lo and behold the old girl is back and she works like a charm. So when I was compelled to direct my creative juices towards a specific project, I decided to attempt to sew a dress for Avery. Can you believe the arrogance?? Because I can sew a straight line I thought that I somehow possessed the ability to decipher the ridiculously complicated hieroglyphics in a sewing pattern and somehow translate that into an actual garment! Complete madness!!!

I started out all peppy and excited about the project and managed to assemble all the right materials despite a very much less than helpful fabric store clerk who insisted I needed less material than I had interpreted according to the back of the pattern. After I explained sloooowly half a dozen times, what was clearly shown on the pattern I was able to get what I needed (Dear Fabricland Clerk, YOU are supposed to KNOW what you are DOING!!! Thanks for nothing!).

After bringing all the materials home I did just exactly what you would expect. I got right to work like a busy little beaver I shoved it all in a cupboard and ignored it for several weeks.

I did eventually muster up the guts to open up the pattern. After looking it over for a bit I concluded I needed an engineering or architecture degree to decipher the directions. So I did just exactly what you would expect. I studied the directions until I figured out how to begin I shoved it all back in the cupboard again.

After some time and several handfuls of xanax I was able to fudge my way through and although I think it probably wasn’t completed quite according to the specifications (how is it possible for a simple dress like this to have twenty pieces???), it turned out all right.

Avery questions my choice of fabrics, she’s not sure if they “match” but accepted it because it is primarily pink and she can’t resist pink. What do you think?

The hubby says it reminds him of the dresses Maria sews from curtains for the Von Trapp children in The Sound of Music. I’m not sure yet if this is a compliment or criticism.

And now the sewing machine and I are going to take a little break from each other and see if we still want to work together in a few months. Or maybe next winter. We’ll see how long it takes.

Avery, martha moments, sewing | 7 Comments »

Avery has not even lost her first tooth and the whole ordeal has been completely traumatizing already. Her first loose tooth showed up around Thanksgiving. It was a much anticipated event and she wasted no time. She talked constantly about what it would be like to finally have lost a tooth! I’m not sure what exactly she is expecting but she’s pretty sure it’s going to be magical. The tooth fairy stuff sounds pretty good to her, too.

Alas, we are two months past the initial excitement and only JUST getting to the point where the tooth could be considered almost loose enough to pull. Is it just me or is that a REALLY long time? (Oh yes, for my American friends, when I said her tooth became loose at Thanksgiving I meant Canadian Thanksgiving which was the second Monday in October).  I remember it taking a few days or a week for a loose tooth to come out when I was a child. This is bordering on absurd.

Back to the trauma…it’s the pulling that’s scarring us all. We’ve now tried to pull it about half a dozen times with no success. We seem to be failing at one of the central tenets of parenthood – the tooth extraction. The hubby manages to elicit great sobbing wails every time he makes an attempt – usually because he is trying to pull out her gums and not just the tooth. I do not seem to cause as much agony but perhaps that’s just because I’m not pulling hard enough? Or maybe we have jumped the gun altogether and are attempting to pull the tooth prematurely? Regardless, the result is TRAUMA.

At the rate we are going she’ll still just start losing teeth as she enters high school. And nothing says “Ridicule me” like a 14 year old missing her two front teeth. I can hear it now: “My name ith Avery and I am thuper exthited to be thtarting high thchool!”

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be researching reputable therapists in the area. I’m sure Avery is going to have a lot to talk about.

Avery, mommy stuff, parenting | 4 Comments »

Once again it’s been a long time since the last post. I know you’ll forgive me for not posting from the road.

We have finally reached our destination and today we took possession of our new (to us) house. The renos have already begun and so much is happening my head is spinning. Today was also Avery’s first full day of grade one and I am looking forward to picking her up and hearing all about it.  I wish I had the brainpower to write these mundane updates in a witty and fascinating way, but I just don’t.  Pictures coming soon, if the moving truck shows up with our stuff. Here’s hoping! Cheers!

Avery, moving, road trip, Saskatoon | 4 Comments »

Dear Avery and Kieran,

I often wonder what you will remember about this time in your lives. There have been a lot of changes in the last couple of years and they aren’t over yet.  I know you will adjust and life will settle down again as it always does. Routine inevitably falls over us like a familiar blanket. But I wonder…

…I wonder if Avery will remember her first sweetheart. A neighbour and classmate who she bonded with early in the school year and before a few months were through, had pledged to marry. Will she remember his possessive and sometimes manipulative and hurtful behaviour in order to keep her attention focused solely on him? Or will she simply remember their unabashed affection for each other and the way they simply felt comfortable playing together. Their innocent acceptance of each other and their bold plans for the future, despite any attempts by her parents to convince her that she *might* change her mind in the future.

(Yes, she looks like she’s yelling at him here, but she really wasn’t. And just seconds before they were sitting there with their arms slung around each others shoulders and it was just so cute!)

…I wonder if Kieran will remember his constant fluctuating between fear of everything from the bathroom towel to the dark to sounds in the night and putting on the bold and brave act. Will he remember telling me that he’s a “superhero” and his super powers are “killing bugs…aaand…spiders….and skeetos…and bad things” and that his super powers are “geen (green)”?

…I wonder if Avery will remember her unwavering devotion to mothering her “babies”. Each new doll was welcomed into the fold and her delight delighted me.

…I wonder if Kieran will remember roasting “smushmellows” or constantly asking “Why you doin’ dat Mommy? WHY?” with always the same format: Why_____________? Why?

…I wonder if you will remember the first time you went to the circus and neither of you blinked for the whole performance because you were so enthralled.

…I wonder if you will remember playing outside from dawn to dusk, wearing nothing but a bathing suit and only stopping for snacks and bathroom breaks. Will you remember running around with popsicles melting all over your hands and even after twelve consecutive hours of constant action, you are still reluctant to come inside, until we settle down to read stories and you fall asleep before the book is finished.

…I wonder if you will remember the way you alternately loved and hated each other. Playing for hours without a problem and then fighting like cats and dogs the next. I guess that will continue for years to come but I hope the memories of the fun you had together will be stronger.

I know I will always remember the feel of hugs from sweaty, sticky children who smell like sunshine and the way new freckles popped up on Kieran’s nose every day until he was covered just like his daddy and how Avery grew what felt like six inches in a summer and suddenly felt like such a big kid to me. I will remember birthday cakes and shaking the sand off our feet after a day at the beach and the smell of a fresh coat of sunscreen and the sound of the ocean lapping at the shore while your happy shrieks and giggles sounded in the background.

Avery, Kieran, mommy stuff, moving, summer | 4 Comments »

Avery was writing up a birthday list for her grandparents the other day. Last item on the list:

There’s nothing like a nice bribe for you birthday. Nice. Wonder what she knows about her grandparents that she’s keeping secret?

Avery | 4 Comments »