My friends, I was overcome! Overcome, I tell you! I found this tutorial to make no-sew tutu and I couldn’t resist because not only is it the cutest thing EVER, it is also the easiest thing ever! A project that appeals to both my vanity and my laziness all wrapped up in a quick and fantastic craft that made my daughter ecstatic. The result:

Tadaaa!!!!

Couldn’t you just die?

A close-up. There are some ribbons to spice it up a bit.

Truly, this project was so easy I may start making them as gifts for other little girls we know. I had enough left over from the first one to make a slightly smaller one. I think I could make a lovely one with less tulle than I used in the first tutu – I packed the tulle really tight so it would be extra poofy, but even half of what I put on would probably still make a sufficiently poofy skirt. So there you have it. You have the recipe for a fast, easy and relatively inexpensive craft that is guaranteed to make a little girl in your life happy. You’re welcome!

Avery, martha moments | 2 Comments »

Not too long ago I was overcome with the need to do something crafty. The compulsion to craft comes and goes with me but when it happens it must not be denied. It has taken many forms (because I am unable to fully commit to any specific form of crafting) over the years and most recently I decided to take my sewing machine out for a test drive.

I have had my sewing machine since my Oma passed away 8 years ago. But it has only been used occasionally and very infrequently for genuine sewing projects. The machine is easily 50 years old and it punished me for neglecting it by chewing up thread and spitting it out in a tangled disaster that could not really be called “sewing”. Before Christmas I was contemplating how much longer I could keep the old girl around when she was no longer co-operating with me. But I was told that old machines could often be salvaged with a simple tune-up.

Lo and behold the old girl is back and she works like a charm. So when I was compelled to direct my creative juices towards a specific project, I decided to attempt to sew a dress for Avery. Can you believe the arrogance?? Because I can sew a straight line I thought that I somehow possessed the ability to decipher the ridiculously complicated hieroglyphics in a sewing pattern and somehow translate that into an actual garment! Complete madness!!!

I started out all peppy and excited about the project and managed to assemble all the right materials despite a very much less than helpful fabric store clerk who insisted I needed less material than I had interpreted according to the back of the pattern. After I explained sloooowly half a dozen times, what was clearly shown on the pattern I was able to get what I needed (Dear Fabricland Clerk, YOU are supposed to KNOW what you are DOING!!! Thanks for nothing!).

After bringing all the materials home I did just exactly what you would expect. I got right to work like a busy little beaver I shoved it all in a cupboard and ignored it for several weeks.

I did eventually muster up the guts to open up the pattern. After looking it over for a bit I concluded I needed an engineering or architecture degree to decipher the directions. So I did just exactly what you would expect. I studied the directions until I figured out how to begin I shoved it all back in the cupboard again.

After some time and several handfuls of xanax I was able to fudge my way through and although I think it probably wasn’t completed quite according to the specifications (how is it possible for a simple dress like this to have twenty pieces???), it turned out all right.

Avery questions my choice of fabrics, she’s not sure if they “match” but accepted it because it is primarily pink and she can’t resist pink. What do you think?

The hubby says it reminds him of the dresses Maria sews from curtains for the Von Trapp children in The Sound of Music. I’m not sure yet if this is a compliment or criticism.

And now the sewing machine and I are going to take a little break from each other and see if we still want to work together in a few months. Or maybe next winter. We’ll see how long it takes.

Avery, martha moments, sewing | 7 Comments »

Avery has not even lost her first tooth and the whole ordeal has been completely traumatizing already. Her first loose tooth showed up around Thanksgiving. It was a much anticipated event and she wasted no time. She talked constantly about what it would be like to finally have lost a tooth! I’m not sure what exactly she is expecting but she’s pretty sure it’s going to be magical. The tooth fairy stuff sounds pretty good to her, too.

Alas, we are two months past the initial excitement and only JUST getting to the point where the tooth could be considered almost loose enough to pull. Is it just me or is that a REALLY long time? (Oh yes, for my American friends, when I said her tooth became loose at Thanksgiving I meant Canadian Thanksgiving which was the second Monday in October).  I remember it taking a few days or a week for a loose tooth to come out when I was a child. This is bordering on absurd.

Back to the trauma…it’s the pulling that’s scarring us all. We’ve now tried to pull it about half a dozen times with no success. We seem to be failing at one of the central tenets of parenthood – the tooth extraction. The hubby manages to elicit great sobbing wails every time he makes an attempt – usually because he is trying to pull out her gums and not just the tooth. I do not seem to cause as much agony but perhaps that’s just because I’m not pulling hard enough? Or maybe we have jumped the gun altogether and are attempting to pull the tooth prematurely? Regardless, the result is TRAUMA.

At the rate we are going she’ll still just start losing teeth as she enters high school. And nothing says “Ridicule me” like a 14 year old missing her two front teeth. I can hear it now: “My name ith Avery and I am thuper exthited to be thtarting high thchool!”

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be researching reputable therapists in the area. I’m sure Avery is going to have a lot to talk about.

Avery, mommy stuff, parenting | 4 Comments »

Once again it’s been a long time since the last post. I know you’ll forgive me for not posting from the road.

We have finally reached our destination and today we took possession of our new (to us) house. The renos have already begun and so much is happening my head is spinning. Today was also Avery’s first full day of grade one and I am looking forward to picking her up and hearing all about it.  I wish I had the brainpower to write these mundane updates in a witty and fascinating way, but I just don’t.  Pictures coming soon, if the moving truck shows up with our stuff. Here’s hoping! Cheers!

Avery, moving, road trip, Saskatoon | 4 Comments »

Dear Avery and Kieran,

I often wonder what you will remember about this time in your lives. There have been a lot of changes in the last couple of years and they aren’t over yet.  I know you will adjust and life will settle down again as it always does. Routine inevitably falls over us like a familiar blanket. But I wonder…

…I wonder if Avery will remember her first sweetheart. A neighbour and classmate who she bonded with early in the school year and before a few months were through, had pledged to marry. Will she remember his possessive and sometimes manipulative and hurtful behaviour in order to keep her attention focused solely on him? Or will she simply remember their unabashed affection for each other and the way they simply felt comfortable playing together. Their innocent acceptance of each other and their bold plans for the future, despite any attempts by her parents to convince her that she *might* change her mind in the future.

(Yes, she looks like she’s yelling at him here, but she really wasn’t. And just seconds before they were sitting there with their arms slung around each others shoulders and it was just so cute!)

…I wonder if Kieran will remember his constant fluctuating between fear of everything from the bathroom towel to the dark to sounds in the night and putting on the bold and brave act. Will he remember telling me that he’s a “superhero” and his super powers are “killing bugs…aaand…spiders….and skeetos…and bad things” and that his super powers are “geen (green)”?

…I wonder if Avery will remember her unwavering devotion to mothering her “babies”. Each new doll was welcomed into the fold and her delight delighted me.

…I wonder if Kieran will remember roasting “smushmellows” or constantly asking “Why you doin’ dat Mommy? WHY?” with always the same format: Why_____________? Why?

…I wonder if you will remember the first time you went to the circus and neither of you blinked for the whole performance because you were so enthralled.

…I wonder if you will remember playing outside from dawn to dusk, wearing nothing but a bathing suit and only stopping for snacks and bathroom breaks. Will you remember running around with popsicles melting all over your hands and even after twelve consecutive hours of constant action, you are still reluctant to come inside, until we settle down to read stories and you fall asleep before the book is finished.

…I wonder if you will remember the way you alternately loved and hated each other. Playing for hours without a problem and then fighting like cats and dogs the next. I guess that will continue for years to come but I hope the memories of the fun you had together will be stronger.

I know I will always remember the feel of hugs from sweaty, sticky children who smell like sunshine and the way new freckles popped up on Kieran’s nose every day until he was covered just like his daddy and how Avery grew what felt like six inches in a summer and suddenly felt like such a big kid to me. I will remember birthday cakes and shaking the sand off our feet after a day at the beach and the smell of a fresh coat of sunscreen and the sound of the ocean lapping at the shore while your happy shrieks and giggles sounded in the background.

Avery, Kieran, mommy stuff, moving, summer | 4 Comments »

Avery was writing up a birthday list for her grandparents the other day. Last item on the list:

There’s nothing like a nice bribe for you birthday. Nice. Wonder what she knows about her grandparents that she’s keeping secret?

Avery | 4 Comments »

I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I did…

Avery, mommy stuff, parenting, the good stuff | No Comments »

My daughter has this little foible. This one tiny idiosyncrasy that makes people think a perfectly normal five year old girl is completely Nutso McWackypants. What is this peculiarity? She has an irrationally strong reaction to certain textures. 

I know.  She’s completely crazy zany, right?

The things that freak her out are completely unpredictable. I’m never sure what it’s going to be.

Barnacles on rocks at the beach made her all antsy but I can kind of understand that. They make my skin crawl a little bit, too.

The other day she had to shut her eyes while eating soda crackers (the most inane food EVER) because the serrated edge was too much for her.

The first time she ordered deep-fried mozzarella sticks at a restaurant she took one bite and refused to eat anymore because they reminded her of “chubby babies”. WTF? The connection between a fat infant and deep-fried cheese is lost on me.

When we visited the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston she couldn’t sit facing this feature wall covered in cymbals. It agitated her too much.

I can’t wait til she loses it in school over a bulletin board display or an art project and they call to tell me she has some kind of brain tumour or psychological disorder. There’s no way to explain this but to acknowledge that the crazy is already in her genetic code and this is probably just the tip of the iceberg.

Avery, the crazy | 4 Comments »

This interview has been showing up on blogs and Facebook and it seemed like fun. I wasn’t prepared for the performance anxiety my daughter experienced when I asked her to answer questions! She was very concerned about getting the answers “right”. Isn’t it fun, seeing your neuroses handed down from generation to generation? 

Anyway, we did eventually come up with answers of one kind or another for every question and here they are:

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
 Be careful.

2. What makes mommy happy?
When we do something right? 

3. What makes mommy sad?
When we do something wrong! 

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
By tickling me. 

5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
 I think it was to maybe braid her hair because it was long?

6. How old is your mommy ?
Twenty-eight I think? (She got it right!)

7. How tall is your mommy ?
About this tall (jumps and reaches as high as she can). 

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
The news. (Ummm….no! I very VERY rarely watch the news.)

9. What does your mommy do when you’re not around?
Work on your computer 

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Concerts. 

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Ummm….I think…getting…untying knots. (What???)

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
 She’s not very good at maybe climbing rocks, maybe? (Probably true. Still, where did she come up with that idea?)

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Nothing. (OUCH.)

14. What is your mommy ’s favorite food?
Onions. (Fail.)

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
When she lets us do stuff that we want to do. 

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
 Buster Baxter (from the tv show Arthur).

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Talk. 

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We both have blond hair. 

19. How are you and your mommy different?
You have glasses and I don’t. 

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Cause she tells me. 

21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
 I think it’s his face.

22. Where is your mommy ’s favorite place to go?
To the jewelry store? (At least, if mommy ever went there, it would probably be her favourite place!)

Avery, mommy stuff, parenting | 6 Comments »

Young love strikes again. Avery and her “special friend” COBE, or Child Of Boundless Energy, (yes, this one) have formulated a plan. Because my daughter is nothing if not completely anal about planning. Which I suppose is a good thing when it comes to family planning. So behold the plan hatched by two five year olds…

Translation: We will marry each other. Then we will have a baby. After that we will feed it. After that we will give it a nap. Then we’ll go to a baby shower. Then we will play with it. Then we will go shopping and we will buy baby clothes and we will buy baby shoes. Then we will dress it. Then we will change it’s diapers.  (And the sticky note: We will name it too.)

The sticky note was glued on for good measure because we wouldn’t want to forget the all-important step of naming the infant.  The two of them came up with this “plan” at school and as soon as we got home Avery set to work to put it in writing. Because once the young man has made promises she’s not going to let him get away with any monkey business. They have a contract, dammit! The documents were brought to school the next day to be viewed and ok-ed by the prospective husband and father and with the teacher’s seal of approval as witness (a pink sticky note with her thanks to Avery for sharing her story in class), life as we know it may never be the same.

And so, with a plan in hand and a husband and child in her future, my daughter can happily relax and enjoy the next ten years of her life. Because she’s pretty sure she needs to be at least fifteen years old before she has a baby.

EEK! I’m hoping she’ll come up with another plan before then. Maybe one that involves university? Or perhaps her fairly recent fear of childbirth will resurface before then and she’ll change her mind. Otherwise a glimpse into my future would reveal a lot prescription medications and a large glass of wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Avery, parenting, quirky kids, young love | 6 Comments »