Dear Chosen Child,

This week we received word that we are officially registered in your country of birth. We are now officially waiting. Expecting. For several weeks already, in fact. We were told that we were registered as of August 5. I feel like I did when I learned I was pregnant – like something amazing was going on for quite some time without my knowledge, a secret miracle.

Because, as I’ve said before, sweet child, I may not carry you in my body, but I carry you in my heart. At the risk of sounding overly sappy or romanticizing the waiting process, I am finding my thoughts and emotions very similar to when I was pregnant with your brother and sister. You are always there in the back of my mind, a possibility hovering in the mist.

Whenever I imagine the future you are always in the picture. When I think of Christmases and family holidays and going to the park and out for dinner and the first day of school and so many every day things, I think of you and how you will fit into us. Every time I pack up another bag of your sister’s clothes I think of you and imagine dressing you in them some day, deciding which precious items I will keep for you. When I sort through toys that are no longer used I picture you using them. I speculate about what you will like and what your personality will be, how you get along with Avery and Kieran, and just what it will be like when you are finally here, a part of us. No matter which way a child comes to you, expecting is basically the same. Anticipation. Imagination. Hope. Joy.

Love,
Mommy

PS-This is us, waiting for you to come home.