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Recipe For a Nervous Breakdown

After making two big moves in the last two years we decided it would be best if we could lighten our load a little before our next move, whenever that might be. And thus began a project which I have cursed more than once in the past six weeks.

It seemed like a manageable sized project. I decided to try and sell our old baby clothes. We had a dozen large bins of outgrown clothes that we’ve been toting around and that equals a lot of Lose Weight Exercise and bulk that has to go on a moving truck.  I figured I’d organize the clothes, give them a quick wash to freshen them up and post a listing on craigslist.

Welcome to Operation Timesuck.

Step 1: Locate and unpack boxes of outgrown clothes. Assume they are basically organized by size as you labelled the containers meticulously when packing them up.

Step 2: Realize your error as size categories are totally inconsistent. Question the difference between size 6 months, size 6-9 months and size 6-12 months and why two shirts in the same size are dramatically different in size. Curse the lack of a universal sizing system to force clothing manufacturers to assure consumers some tiny bit of uniformity from brand to brand. Spend hours days sorting and resorting until you have 10 clear size categories divided into 2 lots each of summer and winter clothing.

Step 3: Get a little weepy and nostalgic over tiny outfits and the memories associated with them…


…and ruthlessly throw everything into the bins but a very few select items to keep.

Step 4: Decide the clothes are more likely to sell on craigslist if you have pictures of them. Start photographing. 

Step 5: Realize the clothes really need to be ironed in order to appear decent in the pictures. Pull out the iron and dig in.

Step 6: Realize your iron is not working properly about ten minutes in.

Step 7: Eventually get around to replacing iron.

Step 8: Realize that spending money on a new iron is exactly as glamorous as it sounds. 

Step 9: Spend hours days weeks months ironing. Realize half way through that this project is a hell of a lot more work than you anticipated.

Step 10: Alternate between ignoring and bitching about the bins of clothes cluttering up your kitchen.

Step 11: FINALLY finish the process of organizing, sorting, washing, ironing and photographing. Proceed to post ad on craigslist. Wait anxiously for responses.

Step 12: Wait some more.

Step 13: Astonished by the deafening virtual silence, spend some time re-examining your strategy and prices. 

Step 14: Alternate between ignoring and bitching about the fact that there are 20 bags of clothes in your kitchen on which you have wasted hours and hours of time and energy and have not made a single penny. In fact, you have lost money because of the new iron.

Step 15: Have your husband move said bags back down to the garage where they came from. 

Step 16: Drown your sorrows in pre-Easter candy and enjoy your clean kitchen. Vow to rework this project again. At some point. In the future. Because you need a break. Again.

8 Responses

  1. Janis Says:

    Relax and enjoy your visit with C+E

  2. Paul Morgun Says:

    Hey have an awesome time with Clint and Elena, can you pass big birthday wishes from us to clint, i tried texting and facebooking him now that he is in the air, but that might be out of his ways of communicating!!!

  3. del Says:

    Sorting through baby clothes is a long process. I feel your pain after spending forever washing and ironing all of the old kids clothes to sell at a market. It was a cold and wet day and no-one went to the market therefore I sold very little. The clothes sat there for years waiting for me to get motivated. It didn’t happen and only recently I donated all of the clothes to a local charity appeal a mere week before my sister announced she was pregnant! Good luck selling your goodies and reclaiming some space.

  4. Julia Says:

    Seriously? Not one response? That’s just stupid. Maybe you could try ebay?

  5. ian Says:

    I can’t be 100% sure, but I think you might have just explained the meaning of life.


  6. Ciara Says:

    You could try eBay or Kijiji too. You would think with everyone panicking about the economy that cheap baby clothes would be a sure seller.

  7. Karly Says:

    Yeah, uh, Goodwill. No iron needed. And, sure, you don’t get money, but it’s soooo worth the time you save.

  8. ian Says:

    uhmmm….well….ughhhh…Shannon, you could always do the ‘Christian Thing’ (as some have suggested in a round a bout way)….buwaaaahhh…I’m sorry, there was no way I could pull that one off with a straight face!!!

    The “Christian thing” (if we use what passes for Christianity today anyway), would be to give the shtaff away, however only in exchange for a promise to visit one’s fancy shmancy church…”…aaaand cue the Holy Spirit….ACTION!” Now, just sit back and let the magic happen.

    sorry…the Niquil hangover is kicking my ass this morning…that, and the fact that my 4 month old daugther’s breathing sounds like a demon-posessed coffee machine on crack. Which, let me tell you, is one of the GREATEST sounds in the world around 2:30 in the frakin’ morning! Nothing like sucking streams of buggers out of tiny nostrils in exchange for sleep…who needs it anyway!!!

    good times.