This interview has been showing up on blogs and Facebook and it seemed like fun. I wasn’t prepared for the performance anxiety my daughter experienced when I asked her to answer questions! She was very concerned about getting the answers “right”. Isn’t it fun, seeing your neuroses handed down from generation to generation? 

Anyway, we did eventually come up with answers of one kind or another for every question and here they are:

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
 Be careful.

2. What makes mommy happy?
When we do something right? 

3. What makes mommy sad?
When we do something wrong! 

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
By tickling me. 

5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
 I think it was to maybe braid her hair because it was long?

6. How old is your mommy ?
Twenty-eight I think? (She got it right!)

7. How tall is your mommy ?
About this tall (jumps and reaches as high as she can). 

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
The news. (Ummm….no! I very VERY rarely watch the news.)

9. What does your mommy do when you’re not around?
Work on your computer 

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Concerts. 

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Ummm….I think…getting…untying knots. (What???)

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
 She’s not very good at maybe climbing rocks, maybe? (Probably true. Still, where did she come up with that idea?)

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Nothing. (OUCH.)

14. What is your mommy ’s favorite food?
Onions. (Fail.)

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
When she lets us do stuff that we want to do. 

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
 Buster Baxter (from the tv show Arthur).

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Talk. 

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We both have blond hair. 

19. How are you and your mommy different?
You have glasses and I don’t. 

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Cause she tells me. 

21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
 I think it’s his face.

22. Where is your mommy ’s favorite place to go?
To the jewelry store? (At least, if mommy ever went there, it would probably be her favourite place!)

Avery, mommy stuff, parenting | 6 Comments »

So here’s the thing. I know most people hate it when a new person moves to their city or neighbourhood and all they do is bitch about the differences between their current location and their previous location. Or they might not even complain about the differences, but are always pointing them out like “Back home we did it this way…” etc. It’s annoying. It’s whiny. It’s obnoxious. But it’s SO HARD TO AVOID!

I’ve tried to make a conscious effort not to spend too much time complaining or fixating on the differences. I’m trying to accept them and mostly it hasn’t been a big deal. I don’t know how well I’ve succeeded as the few friends I’ve made here are too well-mannered to tell me to shut my pie-hole already. 

The surprising thing to me has been that it’s not the major differences that are such a big deal. We knew to expect different accents, different political systems, different ideologies. It’s the subtle ones that throw me for a loop. The minor differences in language, the unexpected variance in breakfast cereal, the fact that I can’t find a big bag of flour at the regular grocery store and the fact that I have to constantly translate something as simple as talking about the weather because I still can’t think in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius, those are the things that get to me and remind me I’m not living in my natural habitat. That and my purse is about 80 pounds lighter because American currency uses so little coin. All those drops can add up to one heaping bucket of DIFFERENT. I know. America is different. Shocking, right?  

And so, because I’m trying to channel a friendly and culturally sensitive persona here in my new habitat, I’m going to spill my guts here about the small things I keep noticing that I just need to point out to someone for no other reason than they are different! Imagine that! If this is going to offend you, feel free to drop by another day. But keep in mind, I’m not passing judgment here. Just pointing out things I’ve noticed.

• People say “trash” instead of “garbage”. I’ve never heard anyone here use the word garbage.
• Most people here say “soda” instead of “pop” although I know some parts of the states do use pop. But it feels weird to ask for soda. I think I say soda with a funny accent.
• The term “carriage” is used for shopping carts and strollers alike. It’s kind of a quaint term. I like it.
• Same for calling hot dog buns hot dog “rolls”. How to make a gross food sound classy. Ish.
• Target. Here’s the thing. Target is Zellers. Maybe with better baby clothes. But basically the same. 
• There are different names for the exact same product (ie. Becel margarine is called “Promise” in the states) or different shapes and sizes of packaging available. Or the product is completely different, as in the cereal debacle (see above).
• The money.  It’s no surprise that there is a different currency here. But I still get mixed up when I’m looking for one or two dollars and I have to look for bills instead of coins. So many years of training is hard to put aside.
• No one wears poppies on Veterans Day (Remembrance Day in Canada). I missed seeing poppies on people’s lapels. On the upside, we made a Canadian friend here who recognized us as countrymen when he saw our poppies.
• Different holidays in general. Or the same holidays but with different names. 
• When talking about school everyone here refers to it as “first grade” rather than “grade one”. Small difference but I always notice.
• Fahrenheit vs. Celsius smackdown. Also metric vs. imperial.
• Duvets are referred to as quilts.
• Foyer (fo-yay) is mispronounced as foi-ER.
• The absence of a second language being taught in public schools. This is a generalization. I suspect there are public school out there that do teach Spanish or perhaps even offer other languages. But unlike Canada where French is required, it is not here.
• Women call their purses a “handbag”. I think that’s cute.
• Something I think is a really wonderful practice around here is having the kids call adults “Miss” or “Mister” in a semi-formal setting. For example, in school the children refer to their teachers as Miss/Mrs./Ms./Mr. Lastname. But in an extracurricular setting like gymnastics class or library story-time or Kindermusik the children (and parents) refer to the teacher as Miss/Mr. Firstname. They use Miss for all women, regardless of marital status. If I were teaching a dance class I would be called Miss Shannon. I really appreciate this as it seems to teach the kids respect for their leaders and is a way of conveying the semi-formality of the instruction without taking it to the next level. I don’t know if this is an American thing or just specific to my little area, but I like it!

Well then! *clap clap* I feel much better for getting that out! If you made it all the way to the end, congratulations!  American friends, thanks for listening to me whine and not slapping me upside the head. Canadian friends, thanks for not telling me it’s my fault for moving away.  Y’all are fantastic!

culture shock | 6 Comments »

Young love strikes again. Avery and her “special friend” COBE, or Child Of Boundless Energy, (yes, this one) have formulated a plan. Because my daughter is nothing if not completely anal about planning. Which I suppose is a good thing when it comes to family planning. So behold the plan hatched by two five year olds…

Translation: We will marry each other. Then we will have a baby. After that we will feed it. After that we will give it a nap. Then we’ll go to a baby shower. Then we will play with it. Then we will go shopping and we will buy baby clothes and we will buy baby shoes. Then we will dress it. Then we will change it’s diapers.  (And the sticky note: We will name it too.)

The sticky note was glued on for good measure because we wouldn’t want to forget the all-important step of naming the infant.  The two of them came up with this “plan” at school and as soon as we got home Avery set to work to put it in writing. Because once the young man has made promises she’s not going to let him get away with any monkey business. They have a contract, dammit! The documents were brought to school the next day to be viewed and ok-ed by the prospective husband and father and with the teacher’s seal of approval as witness (a pink sticky note with her thanks to Avery for sharing her story in class), life as we know it may never be the same.

And so, with a plan in hand and a husband and child in her future, my daughter can happily relax and enjoy the next ten years of her life. Because she’s pretty sure she needs to be at least fifteen years old before she has a baby.

EEK! I’m hoping she’ll come up with another plan before then. Maybe one that involves university? Or perhaps her fairly recent fear of childbirth will resurface before then and she’ll change her mind. Otherwise a glimpse into my future would reveal a lot prescription medications and a large glass of wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Avery, parenting, quirky kids, young love | 6 Comments »

Whoever coined the phrase “there’s no use crying over spilled milk” clearly never had their five year old empty the half a cup of spilled milk in her lunch bag into the back seat of the car. The resulting stench is enough to bring anyone to tears. I imagine.

Not that it happened to me.

not that it happened to me | 3 Comments »

To settle a discussion between a friend and I who have differing opinions on the subject… LOST watchers, please weigh in…

Question: Which of the following LOST couples has the most chemistry?

a) Jack & Kate

b) Kate & Sawyer

c) Sawyer & Juliet

Discuss!

random, tv | 9 Comments »

Just popping my head in to say “hi” and I promise there will be some content again before too long. The hubby is working about eleventy-five hours a day this month and I’m finding myself incapable of expressing coherent thought by the end of the day. Not much exciting to update you on but just so you won’t feel the trip was wasted…

• If you were wondering, my hand is totally still sore from my visit to the den of torture lab last week. For those who are counting, that’s nine days ago. Still sore. OW. 
• My kids had their first dental cleaning today. I know, bad mom for not having my five year old already going twice a year. What did I learn from the experience? My 2 year old is a pro and dealt with the whole thing like an exciting new experience? My daughter was anxious and nervous and although she didn’t cry or scream, she wanted to.  She is also exactly like me in that she gags easily, and generally hated every moment of sitting in the dentist’s chair, despite my best efforts to keep the atmosphere light-hearted! cheerful! isn’t this fun!!! SO! VERY! COOL! Yeah. Epic fail.
• I don’t know if I dare say it out loud but I think spring may actually have arrived here on the seashore. And we are very happy to welcome back warmer weather with open arms. Hell, who am I kidding? I would totally make out with the crocuses growing in my flower bed if I thought it wouldn’t end badly with me rolling in the dirt.
• I have no fourth bullet but it seems like there should be one more. As you were. 

catch up, kids, medical, spring | 4 Comments »

When people ask me how old my kids are I have this bad habit of framing it in terms of how old they will be, instead of how old they are. I often say “He will be three in June,” instead of “Two and a half,” or even just “Two”.  As soon as they have a birthday I’m already thinking ahead to the next one, thinking in terms of the next milestone.

There are several problems with this little foible. First, it creates false expectations. I expect Kieran to behave and function like a three year old long before he turns three because I am subconsciously thinking of him as a three year old. Any parent will tell you there can be a big difference between a two year old and a three year old. Or a two-years-and-nine-months year old (his age right now) and a three year old. Or even between two three year olds. I’m all for believing in my kids, encouraging them to stretch and grow and exceed expectations, even for gently pushing them when it’s appropriate. But it’s not fair to them to have a mother who constantly expects them to behave like an older child or communicate and understand concepts beyond their years.

Which brings me to the second problem: it’s not fair to me either. I’m an idealist. I always have been. I constantly imagine how things will be better when [insert time/event/behaviour/circumstance]. The crux of waiting for fairytale endings is that it prevents me from enjoying the present. I don’t want to rob myself of the pleasure of each day of my kids’ lives.  I don’t want to miss the little moments and special things about them at the exact ages they are right now. 

I need to appreciate my five years and seven month old who wants to know about my wedding and dresses up like a bride…

… and who writes stories on a daily basis, reads proficiently, and expresses herself in such a very earnest way.  I would hate to miss the way she stomps her foot when her jacket zipper gets stuck or demands that I tell her if the Easter Bunny is REALLY real.

I love the little boy who is two years and nine months old who wants me to snuggle with him til he falls asleep each night and who I have to tell that he can’t fill his hands with rocks every time we are out on our gravel driveway. It would be a shame not to take time to appreciate the way he tries to stuff 18 markers into his tiny shirt pocket…

… or the way he runs around with a box on his head pretending to be a “bad space man” (which I know because he tells me “Mine [My] BAD Space Man!”) or constantly asks “whyyyyy mama???” or the last remnants of his babyhood that still linger even while he trying to be just like daddy by pecking away at the computer and deleting my downloads folder AGAIN.

There is so much to appreciate in each moment and it can be tricky to remember that sometimes. Here’s to this moment, and all the ones to come!

kids, mommy stuff, parenting, the good stuff | 3 Comments »

I just discovered that, when brushing the kids’ teeth, my husband does not rinse out the toothbrush and then brush the teeth again with the rinsed out brush so as to fully clean the toothpaste off the kids’ teeth.  Now I am extremely kind of hyper-sensitive about anything relating to toothpaste and how utterly revolting it is so I was TOTALLY APPALLED AND SHOCKED BECAUSE TOOTHPASTE LEFT ON THEIR TEETH = OMG EWWWWW!!!! a little concerned about this turn of events. I know that if people swallow toothpaste it can cause discolouration in their teeth and it seems to me that while it may be good for cleaning teeth, it should still be cleaned OFF the teeth at the end of one’s brushing routine.

My husband thinks I’m way overreacting.

So I’m turning it over to you, people. Do you typically brush with the toothpaste and then brush with the rinsed-out brush to clean the toothpaste out of your mouth? Or am I too sensitive?

kids, marriage, parenting, the hubby | 11 Comments »

Attention Phlebotomists: If a patient explicitly tells you “Find your most skilled technician now, because I am a really difficult stick and they ALWAYS have trouble finding a good vein – every time I’m here I get poked multiple times,” it is not time to be cocky and assume that you are that person (or that the patient is exaggerating). This is a time for humility. Swallow your damn pride and be realistic about your skills. If you aren’t the best then find the person who is.

What you should definitely not do is pick a vein in the patient’s hand (which may be very normal for that particular patient), insert the needle, and then, when the blood does not flow, proceed to violently rape the patient’s veins until the patient is sucking their breath and biting their lip and trying not to scream in front of their watching toddler.  Perhaps it is sometimes true that pushing the needle into the vein a smidge more will get the blood flowing, but doing it a dozen or more times is overkill and it will leave a bruise/lump the size of a small grape under the patient’s skin. 

Also, learn to admit defeat. When you’ve violated one vein beyond all comprehension, having to start over with another vein just adds insult to injury. Not that I would know anything about this personally. But 9 out of 10 crappy-veined patients agree that it would be seriously annoying.

not that it happened to me | 6 Comments »

Mommy: You know, when we were kids we didn’t have computers at all!***

Avery: Really???

Daddy: Yes, that’s right.

Avery: Why?

Mommy: Well, lots of reasons. They cost a lot of money and they were much bigger than they are now.

Avery: But how did you check the weather???

 

***I lied. In reality, both my family and the hubby’s family had computers when we were quite young children. But I was making a point. And when we were young it was still pretty rare for people to own a computer.

Avery, funny | 7 Comments »