It was bound to happen sooner or later. But honestly, I was not prepared to deal with this so early. How does a mother react, knowing such events have transpired which are beyond her knowledge and control?
It all started out innocently enough. My daughter had become good friends with a little boy in her kindergarten class, let’s call him Child Of Boundless Energy. As it happens, COBE’s family lives just one house over from us and back before Christmas we thought it would be nice to invite him over for pizza/movie night with our kids since the two of them were such good friends at school.
Because COBE’s mom is a delightful human being, she helped him purchase flowers to bring Avery for their DATE (COBE’s words, not mine or his mother’s)!!! I was surprised that COBE was taking this so seriously, but he was totally adorable when he showed up and handed the flowers matter-of-factly to Avery the moment he walked in the door, so what could I say?
I made the two of them pose for a picture later to capture the moment for purposes of future embarrassment historical record:
As an aside, GOOD LORD, five year old boys are a freaking force of nature! If you could bottle that energy for sale it would almost certainly be classified as an illicit drug rocket fuel. Luckily COBE is a generally well-behaved kid and the two of them got along mostly without incident – although we did not watch a movie that night as the kids were so ramped up by the excitement of playing together outside of school that they were incapable of sitting still for longer than 2 seconds to wolf down pizza.Â
Cue, this Monday. COBE is once again over to play. They are tearing apart our second floor while I am making dinner. Avery comes running downstairs giggling and prancing around as 5 year old girls are wont to do.
“I have a secret!” she says.
“Oh?” I respond nonchalantly, “And what is this secret about?”
Thank the sweet baby Jesus this child is not a naturally gifted liar. “COBE kissed me! And then I kissed him! It’s supposed to be a secret!” she blurts out in a fit of giggles.
….
After I picked my jaw up the floor we had a short discussion about kissing being an activity for when she’s older and that it’s nice to show we like someone by telling them so or hugging them. Â Then she ran off to play with her boy-toy some more.
OMG! Are you kidding me??? My vixen of a five year old has already talked an honest lad into giving up his virtue under my very roof! Is it too early to lock her up? And what do I tell his mother???
Cupid, have mercy!
January 28th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Shannon,
Had a little extra extra time at the mind-numbing job so I found you through SCPN.
I enjoyed reading your musings on life and parenting. Having recently joined the ranks I found this particular post of interest. I too have a young princess (aka Drama Queen after 7pm) who is also 5…weeks that is. However my fears, which you are now living out in technicolor, are all to real when it comes to her future dealings with the opposite sex (or same…).
Thanks for sharing, and I shall have to keep a closer eye no you and your daughters shenanigans…
Love your writing style and sense of humor. Good stuff.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
1. I think this is why ‘cooties’ were invented.
2. No worries. The boy clearly doesn’t have a face.
January 28th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
oooh shannon!
this is hilarious…:)
yes.. you are lucky she isn’t a very good liar. little avery..
p.s. i’m enjoying reading your work. i always have.:)
January 29th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Haha! That’s too cute. Aren’t hormones supposed to wait until like age 13?
January 29th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Too funny. Did you think to ask what type of kiss it was? My kids describe them as ‘grandma kisses’, you know the quick pecks that kids try to avoid, a ‘movie kiss’ that involves the mashing of faces together or the all time favourite, ‘grown-up kisses’ that are all smooshy and soggy.
I have been lucky enough to over hear my son and his best (girl) friend discussing ‘movie kisses’ with each other at the tender age of 6.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
As I recall, it was MY first girlfriend that taught me how to kiss back in Pre-School/1st Grade. And I’m pretty sure it was of the french variety…
She was very progressive…especially for Middle-America Kansas!!!
I’ve never bee the same…;0)
Whatever happened to punching a girl cuz you like her?
January 29th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Mothers are always the last to know………..except in your case, I guess. CUTE!
January 30th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Hey, I was wondering if I could use this forum as a sounding board for another nightmare I’m dealing with.
I don’t mean to distract from Shannons efforts at raising Britney Spears version 2.0, but….
totally kidding!!! I’m sure she’ll be a Miley Cyrus at worst…wait…that IS worst…sorry!!!
Vaccines. Yeah, I said the ‘V’ word, I know. So I’ve been doing some reasearch, trying to keep it as balanced, medical, and reliable as possible, and so far I’m finding the majority of the evidence has me leaning pretty heavy in the “NO FRAK’N WAY” camp.
I am however trying to stay open, and ultimately only want the best for my child. It just seems like every one I speak to that claims to be a proponent of Vaccines either really doesn’t know that much (saying: “Everyone’s doin’ it, it must be good!”…wow!), or individuals or groups backed by the very companies that are supplying the stuff…hmmmm.
Any thoughts?
thx
January 30th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
LOL. Talk about opening up a can of worms! I’ll gladly give you my two cents though. I believe in making decisions with the best information we have at the time. There is much propaganda about vaccines and many books and people who have strong beliefs about the theoretical connection between autism and vaccines. Here’s what I know. Science has not proven any connection between vaccines and autism. Despite some people’s very strong opinions contrary, I go with science. Would I feel differently if I had a child with autism? Some say yes, but I really don’t think so. This world would be a far more dangerous place without vaccinations. People say that their child who hasn’t been vaccinated is fine, so why do we need them? But the truth is, if your child is the only unvaccinated one in your community, who will they catch the illness from? It’s far less likely than if they were surrounded by unvaccinated children. It’s a poor argument.
That said, I do know that there have been differences in the contents of vaccinations of Canadian and American vaccinations in the past, specifically mercury (Canada got rid of it a while ago). I was under the impression that this has changed recently and that might be something to check on. I also know people who are concerned about vaccines and the effect of getting so many at once. Some of these people have chosen to slightly delay vaccinations and spread them out rather than getting several at once. I feel this is a fairly reasonable response if a person just can’t put their concerns aside with the information available.
My opinion is that science and the medical world have worked hard to make serious childhood illness a thing of the past. I believe they are doing everything they can to be sure that there are no side effects to the immunizations we give our children and that they are not trying to hide anything or supporting vaccination simply because we’ve always done it that way. If you have concerns you should absolutely discuss them with your child’s doctor. Ask for information not supplied by the companies making the vaccines. Any good doctor will gladly give you anything you need to be educated about the process.
Well, that was more like 25 cents, and not two. Oh well!
Clearly I believe in the importance of vaccination. I know I have at least one friend and reader who has done a lot of research on the subject and she might be able to give you some ideas of specific reading materials on the subject. JB? You out there?
January 30th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
cool. thanx shannon.
If it was only the autism thing, which I agree is still pretty vague, then I would say, no problem.
Here are some of the specifics that stood out to me:
- No conclusive proof that early and/or current vaccines were actually responsible to eraticating the desease in the first place. Leads me to wonder what they do at all?
- Why is there an act of congress that provides parents of a child who suffered brain damage or death as a direct result of vaccines $250,000 if they’re so safe?
- So much of the ‘science’ is paid for and sponsored by Big Pharm (I know…let the conspiracies begin…)
- The known side-effects are staggering.
- Most if not all of those deseases are all treatable.
It really adds up. Again, I’m just desturbed with the overwhelming evidence against, versus the little or unreliable evidence against.
Think about when most of these were instituted, and how far we’ve come since then, and yet many of these vaccines haven’t changed from those prmitive days. And again, there is mostly assumption that the vaccines were the agent that ‘cured’ the desease. It’s said that hygyne and sanitary conditions, along with ‘herd immunity’ were much bigger if not all the factors. The human body is far more capable then we give it credit for. America is way over-drugged.
My wife and I are both from Germany, which has a far more holistic aproach to medicine, and you’ll find that they are nowhere near as drug-happy as we are, and yet quite a bit more healthy…hmmmmm
This is a tough one. thanks for sharing.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Hi Ian,
So here’s the thing, I don’t think it’s fair to say there is no conclusive evidence that the vaccines cured the diseases. Smallpox was eradicated from the face of the planet in a matter of 10 years and a disease like that doesn’t just disappear on it’s own. Hygiene/Sanitary conditions do not have anything to do with it. The final country where smallpox was eradicated is India where the sanitary conditions are arguably not that great. You should watch this TED Talk by Dr. Larry Brilliant (http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/larry_brilliant_wants_to_stop_pandemics.html) who was a huge part of the project that eradicated Smallpox. It is very compelling and Dr Brilliant doesn’t work for “big pharm”. To see where we have come, from a disease that killed millions to it being written out of history for good, that is truly amazing.
I think we get complacent because current generations haven’t lived through epidemics that killed thousands and millions of people. But the fact is, science is what has protected us from it.. Yes, big pharm likes to make money. I’m not disputing that. But I have faith in medical science. Scientists promoting vaccinations are doing so because tey have seen the results and are protecting future generations from these epidemics.
Even something as simple as chicken pox vaccine, which I hear many of my peers say is unnecessary because we all had it as children and were fine. The reason children are immunized against chicken pox now is because complications from chicken pox was one of the most common reason for children to be hospitalized. For those of us who came through the chicken pox without any problems it seems silly. But clearly there have been enough kids who have died or nearly died from chicken pox complications that the medical community saw a way to save lives and took action. I have to support that. If it were my child, I would want them protected. And just because some diseases are treatable, doesn’t make them any less of a threat. I don’t want my kids unprotected from a disease that “some” people die from! And the complications from having some diseases are terrible (Dr. Brilliant suggests many people were blinded as a side effect from having smallpox. So even though they lived, they were permanently handicapped.).
I’m not saying America/Canada isn’t overmedicated. But I don’t think vaccinations are what we should be attacking in this case. I agree that Germany’s more holistic approach is likely very reasonable and probably more balanced in many cases. But I assume Germany still vaccinates children, right? There are many ways that North Americans could probably improve their lives by using less medication and focusing on overall better health by eating better and being more active. But to say that vaccinating is unnecessary seems unfair to me. I’m not attacking you. I know you are just trying to get more info. I hope you find the answer you’re looking for. Again, I would encourage you to talk to your doctor and express all these thoughts. Even your questions about the role pharmaceutical companies play in the whole thing. A good doctor should not be offended by that. They should be able to help fill in the blanks for you. Maybe give you a better perspective on how these diseases are transmitted, why were protect against them, what the likelihood of side effects are, etc. The typical side effects of vaccinations are minimal, if any. I have never known anyone to have a child who had any reaction more serious than a very slight fever. To me, the benefits far outweigh the risks.
Anyway, I hope you will check out the video. It’s very informative. And I wish you all the best on your journey!
/Shannon
January 31st, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Some books I have read on the subject are:
1. “Your Child’s Best Shot: A Parent’s Guide to Vaccination” by Ronald Gold. This is a reference book at the hospital, and is published by the Canadian Paediatric Society, so obviously it is pro-vaccinations. It is a quick, easy read.
2. “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children’s Vaccinations” by Stephanie Cave. The most anti-vaccination book I have read.
3. “Raise a Smarter Child by Kindergarten: Raise IQ by up to 30 Points and Turn on Your Child’s Smart Genes” by David Md Perlmutter. This is a very good book all around. It also talks about toxins, games, food, etc.
4. “Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders” by Kenneth Bock. This is basically a reference book/medical text, so you probably wouldn’t want to read the whole thing, but the first part is interesting (his theory on why these disorders are on the rise).
5. “The Vaccine Book†by Dr. Robert Sears just came out last spring, and I have found it to be the most balanced book, and he recommends a very balanced approach. If you don’t have time to do a bunch of reading to come up with your own conclusions, I highly recommend this book.
Good luck!
February 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Thank you ALL for taking the time to pass along this great info. Alot to pour over, but as all seem to agree, EXTREMELY important.
Thank you
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I love this photo of your Avery! BTW I am your Mom’s 2nd cousin, Lori.
Your parents told me about your blog so I decided to check it out.
Looks great.
This was a great little story. Hussy! : )
February 21st, 2009 at 8:57 am
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5683671.ece
March 26th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
[...] strikes again. Avery and her “special friend” COBE, or Child Of Boundless Energy, (yes, this one) have formulated a plan. Because my daughter is nothing if not completely anal about planning. [...]