It was another day, another virus around here this week. Luckily all that is past. For the moment. 

Here’s the thing about being sick when you’re married to a person who never gets sick: you feel like a giant, whiny baby all the time. Which is not so far from the truth because  if you know me, you know I’m kind of a sissy. But what is also true is that my immune system is a bit of a pansy, too. And the hubby’s immune system is a bad-ass, muscle-bound tough guy so he almost never has so much as a sniffle. 

The thing about being the pantywaist around here is that I always suspect that the hubby thinks I’m exaggerating how rotten I feel or that I’m whining excessively. Which – let’s be honest – I probably am. Because I’m nothing if not…er…VERBAL about my discomfort.

But it SUCKS to be the one who is always down with some plague or another because it makes it look and feel like there it something intrinsically faulty with my system which would be a reasonable assumption next to a normal person. But next to me, my husband looks like a damn robot! A robot that is unsuccessfully trying to understand the mysterious human phenomenon of illness and how to behave around a sick human. So I have devised this short list of gentle reminders for dealing with a sickie like myself, because I’m helpful like that:

Shannon’s Guide for Superhuman Robots Tending To Weak, Sick Humans

1. Never, under any circumstances, question the validity of a sickie’s complaints. It won’t get you anywhere. Trust me. Whether physical or mental real or imagined, we are sick.

2. Don’t suggest that a sickie Lose Weight Exercise or go out for a walk in order to boost their energy level. The best prescription for the recovery of good attitude health is wallowing rest, lots of TV liquids, and a healthy dose of comfort food loving support.

3. If you are attempting to assist a sickie by preparing a meal, do not ask said sickie what you should make! This is a serious faux pas! The idea is to get the masses fed, whether that means a sandwich or a opening a can of soup. It doesn’t have to be gourmet.

4. Indulge the sickie’s whining. If it’s too annoying, just try to block it out and persevere until it passes. If you have it in you, try to baby the sickie. Soothing back rubs or sympathetic nodding and a quiet environment are good. Be encouraging and empathetic. And if you can’t do that, BE QUIET.

5. Be thankful for your superior immune system! No, seriously, THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS that you’re not like us weaklings who are felled by every virus that comes our way. Your gratitude could translate into more compassion for those aren’t as strong as you are, you lucky bastard!