This isn’t a great picture but can you see all the bruises on this kid? Wait – I think I heard a knock at the door. Probably CPS coming to interrogate me.

Phew. Just my very nervous imagination.

This kid is having serious issues with falling down. You can maybe see 4 different bruises on his face there if you look closely (top left: walking into a door, top right: falling down and hitting head, under eye: a mysterious and large bruise that appeared after a peaceful night’s sleep [WTF???] and over the bridge of his nose: falling face first off a play structure). There are actually 3 more that you can’t see (in hairline: playing too rough and fell and smacked head, middle of forehead: faded bruise from same, under chin: falling off couch).  

I am really starting to be anxious about people misinterpreting my kid’s many bruises! Would it be weird if I started all my conversations with a disclaimer? The kid is just totally fearless and that results in a black and blue face.  The first thing he did after we arrived at our hotel on Sunday was to take a nosedive five feet off the hotel’s playground equipment and land on his nose. There was a lot of blood and he fell from so high I was formulating a plan to find the nearest ER by the time I picked him up from the ground. Thankfully it turned out not to be too serious  and he only had a bruise in the end.

You can imagine how many other bruises were added to his collection when we spent the day in the hotel’s waterpark.

Nope, no possible way to hurt myself here Mom!

Why won’t you let me run around???

Incidentally, it’s very hard to keep your kids from throwing themselves into a waterfall when you’ve just spent a day at a waterpark full of spraying and splashing water. The difference is lost on them.