First means that the first time I held you in my arms I was terrified. Excited, happy, and scared. Simultaneously delighted and completely overwhelmed.

First means that your parents will always be just trying to figure out how to be parents. It means you will have parents who don’t really know what they are doing and are just making it up as they go along.

First also means that you are on an epic journey along with the people you call mother and father. Learning as you go.  Discovering the joy of many firsts together.  The exhilaration of first steps, first bike rides, and first dates will always be an extra special part of our bond because it is our first time, too. 

First means that you will often bear the brunt of the blame, be striving to meet high expectations, and feel that you always have the most restrictive rules compared to your counterpart. We notice you too much. I know this because I was first, too.

First means that you get the kind of undivided attention and concentrated vigilance in your first few years of life that only the first gets. It means you were our first great passion, the object of unending fascination and scrutiny.  We noticed everything. How could we not? 

First means, whether right or wrong, we sometimes claim your accomplishments and successes as our own. Because in some small way, your victories are ours, too. First means privileges and first means responsibility. First to delight me in ways I had never imagined. First to open my heart to sacrifice and the absolute fulfillment of you walking around holding my heart in your tiny fingers.

First. My first joy. We walked over the precipice of parenthood together, you in my arms. I gave birth to you and you birthed motherhood in me. First means you are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.

Second means that the first time I held you in my arms I was confident and in love.  I had already learned how to be a mother and I could relax and enjoy you more fully.

Second means your parents might be over-confident, thinking they know just who you are and not always recognizing your unique and distinct gifts and challenges.

Second means your parents are more experienced, more relaxed. Second means a little more freedom a little earlier.

Second means you might sometimes dwell in the shadow of your sibling. You were not first. You will always be second. You may sometimes be disappointed in what you will interpret as your parents’ lack of enthusiasm over your achievements.  This is not the truth. But simply the harsh truth of resources spread thin.

Second means you are in the unique position of being a constant surprise. Every time someone thinks they know you based on your family history, you will be able to startle them with how very special you are. Second means your difference is part of your charm. Second also means that you might be the same. But never a duplicate. Because the second time we appreciate so much more how fleeting every moment is.

Second means you might sometimes feel overlooked. Forgotten. Second means you will think you can get away with things because of this very problem. You won’t be getting away with them. We are just much cooler than we appear. Or we have become so after a few years of experience.

Second means that “it’s not fair!” will be an important part of your vocabulary.  Second means that even as I write this I am analyzing every word to make sure I do right by both of you. Don’t think that I resent this. It is just so very important to me that you never feel that second is somehow less. Because second is such a complete and utter joy. First arrived and granted my wish, making me a mother. Second arrived and reminded me why I made the wish in the first place.

Second. My second joy. We discovered the fountain of contentment together, you in my arms. I gave birth to you and you birthed peace in me.  Second means you are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.