Dear Man/Woman who parks the ice cream truck right outside the school every day at pick-up time,

You have no soul. I’m almost sure of it.  

I don’t mean to be unreasonably offensive. However. No one with an actual soul would relentlessly torture so many parents and children each and every day. No one with the tiniest spark of conscience would pull up to the curb with a vehicle packed to the gills with the tempting sugary treats and wait while your siren’s call works it’s magic on all the little people. No one with any sense of morals or ethics would watch packs of children frothing at the mouth and howling PLEASEPLEASEPLEASECANWEGETANICECREAMPLEEEEEEEASE while parents attempt to hold them off by cajoling, threats and distractions. If you had watched the anguished looks on the faces of the crowd of caregivers who have to contend with these children who turn into hordes of wild animals daily, you would take pity and give us a break.

Since you obviously possess not even a shred of human decency, let’s talk dollars. Seriously. What’s it gonna take? Because I’m almost certain the PTA would be willing to put all their fundraising efforts into keeping your greedy ass away from the school property for the foreseeable future.

Signed,
A Weary Parent