I may have mentioned that my daughter has developed a little problem recently.  The problem manifests itself like this: my five year old turns into a 42 year old, disgruntled and cranky product of middle-management, a micro-manager.

You know that boss you have who doesn’t trust any employees to use their common sense and interprets any individuality or spontaneous action as a threat to their authority? The one who constantly interferes with your projects, asking questions and making suggestions, even though they are incapable of understanding your plan or contributing in any useful way?  That’s my kid.

She has her (uninformed) ideas about how the world works and she always has A PLAN for everything and God forbid I should deviate from THE PLAN. Half the time her plans are made without my knowledge or guidance which means they will almost certainly not be viable because, hello? Just because you PLANNED to play with your favourite Cinderella barbie before bed, does not mean that it’s the best time to do so.  

I feel exactly like I have an annoying manager following me around, getting in my way, and questioning my judgement and reasoning on every decision and making foolish suggestions, just to piss me off.  

I know, I know, she’s five. She is just exploring her personality and the limits and all that stuff.  It doesn’t mean she’s not irritating the hell out of me! I try to encourage her to do all kinds of things in life. But aggravating me (or others) does not make my list of Important Skills To Learn Before Graduating High School. Of course, like most micro-managers, she throws a complete hissy fit when her suggestions are thwarted.  The anguished weeping and frustrated arm flailing and unintelligible wailing is enough to make me want to say “If you think you can do a better job, BE MY GUEST!” 

Is it bizarre that I’m questioning myself because of the constant badgering of a child who has only been out of diapers for a couple years??? I think it is.

Yeah…I’m going to have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Sunday to organize the toilet paper and scrub the bottoms of my shoes. Ummm…thanks.