Against my wagging fingers and grunts of disapproval, the hubby grabbed a couple of tear-off phone numbers from some bulletin boards when we were touring the Harvard campus not too long ago. The flyers were recruiting people to take part in Sleep Studies and since sleeping and studying are two of the hubby’s favourite things to do, he just couldn’t resist. Also, the papers advertised a fairly generous payment for full participation in the study, which sparked his curiosity. Most people would take the generous payment as a hint that the study would involve something more demanding and rigorous than simply resting peacefully. But my husband is nothing if not optimistic.

After contacting the people in charge of the study he received an email with the detailed requirements for eligibility in the study.  There were several key items that would have rendered the hubby ineligible (he wouldn’t have been allowed to take his asthma medications or any kind of caffeine and he would have had to be available for several weeks to stay in some kind of fallout shelter sleep lab).  But the clincher was this: ”On 2 occasions, you are asked to remain awake for up to 40 hours each, while lying in bed the entire time.”  

I laughed out loud when I read this, knowing that there is NO WAY my husband could stay awake for 40 hours straight. He has amazing willpower and determination. He is stubborn. He is persistent. But he could be lying in bed while watching a trio of pole dancers perform the hottest stip-tease, or a pack of rabid hyenas threatening his physical safety and he would drift off to dreamland.  When he is sleepy there is NO keeping him awake. The apocalypse itself would not keep this man from his slumber. So the very idea that a comfortable bed, dim lighting and a lab assistant! to play games! or talk! would be enough to keep my husband awake for forty straight hours is laughable.

He was truly disappointed that he wasn’t going to be able to make big bucks while sleeping, and I can’t blame him. But I don’t think there is enough money in the world to make me willingly forego several nights’ sleep!