Ok, I don’t want to step on too many toes here. But OH MY GOD THE AMERICAN SOCIAL SECURITY SYTEM IS MOTHER-EFFING EFFED THE EFF UP PEOPLE!  We have TRIED to follow the instructions we’ve been given by people who are SUPPOSED to know how this system is supposed to work. We have reeeally tried! But how are we supposed to follow instructions when every person we speak with has different instructions and has a completely different explanation as to how the process works and how soon and how fast and how long and who does what and why and when and where and how!???  Its INSANE.  And I have to say that I am completely and totally fed up.  

The local Social Security Office believes that the process works one way but when we talked to the National Social Security Office they had a completely different explanation.  I have never seen a system where each cog in the wheel has NO IDEA how the track is put together.  Well, they THINK they know. But they really don’t. And in the end, neither do we. We’re just HOPING it all works out. I feel so helpless. Just to give you an idea of the rigamarole we have gone through, here’s a sample of our questions and the variety of answers we have been getting…

Key

BO = Border Official
FR = Friends who have lived in the states or are currently living in the states
DHS = Department of Homeland Security 
RC1 = Relocation Company #1
RC2 = Relocation Company #2
LSSO = Local Social Security Office
NSSO = National Social Security Office

 

How quickly will my TN Status information be in the system?

BO: Your information is in the system as soon as I enter it into this computer right here.
LSSO: Hmm…it doesn’t seem to be in the system yet. Perhaps the Border Official entered some of your personal information incorrectly, thus causing your file to spontaneously remove itself from all record.
NSSO: What system? There is no system.

How soon should I apply for my SSN?

FR: We applied shortly after we arrived in our new American home.
RC1: You should wait at least 11 business days.
RC2: You should wait at least 15-20 business days.
NSSO: You should apply immediately after crossing the border.  
LSSO: Why do you need an SSN? Doesn’t everyone have an SSN? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have an SSN. You’re American right? 

How long will it take for my SSN to be processed?

RC2: If you’re lucky, one week. If your information has not gotten through “the system” to the Social Security Office yet, then you will be put on the VERY SLOW TRACK reserved for SPIES/TERRORISTS/SUBVERTING THE WHOLESOME LIFESTYLE OF GOD-FEARING AMERICANS/ANY ONE LOOKING MIDDLE EASTERN.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T APPLY TOO EARLY OR YOU WILL WAIT FOREVERRRRRR!!!
LSSO: You could get it as early as a couple of days from now. It can take up to one month.
NSSO: Very likely it could take as long as 8 weeks. 

Is there some kind of problem with my TN Status information? Why is it not in “the system” yet?

LSSO: Oh yes there is! Somebody screwed up! It’s not here! In THE SYSTEM!!!
BO: Nope. Nothing wrong. It’s right here in “the system”.
DHS: Seems fine.
NSSO: WHAT SYSTEM??? 

Can I get check the status of my application via phone or internet?

LSSO: Absolutely! Just call this phone number here and give them your reference number.
NSSO: Reference number? Huh? Nope, there’s nothing we can tell you until the Local Branch sends a request to us. 

Who is actually looking at my application and making the decision?

LSSO: It’s all up to the National Branch. We don’t do anything now that it’s in “the system”.
NSSO: Some dude at the Local Branch taxes you little papers, FAXES THEM (seriously! FAX! In the age of electronic systems!) to some dude here at our office who sends them off to the Department of Defence who sends them to the Department of Homeland Security who gives them a rubber stamp approval and then FAXES THEM BACK to the dude at the Local Branch who gives them to some other shmuck. Then it sits in a big pile  for a while collecting dust until the shmuck does the legwork to check all the info. One more rubber stamp and you get to come back down to the Local Office to pick it up! Easy as pie!
RC2: NO ONE will look at it if you don’t wait the appropriate amount of time before applying.  

Why isn’t this whole thing automated and inter-connected via your computer system? Wouldn’t doing it electronically be much simpler?

RC1: I dunno. It’s just the way it is.
LSSO: What are you talking about? This is just the way it is. Live with it. You do want to live in this country right?
NSSO: This is the new and improved procedure that has been put in place since 9/11. (THIS is the IMPROVED SYSTEM???)