Ok, none of these words actually rhyme with crazy. But they all capture the spirit of the Cray-zay that is my life right now.
Home: Driving from Winnipeg to Saskatoon today was truly enjoyable in a way it has never been before. The main reason I’ve never appreciated it before is because it’s a nine hour drive with two little kids, people! WHAT’S TO LIKE?!!! I’ve never spent such a long time away from my beloved prairies. There is an adage that a Scotsman becomes twice as much a Scotsman when he is living away from Scotland. I have found this to be true. I have never loved the prairies as much as in the year I spent away from them. Entering the real open prairie today was like taking the first really deep breath I’ve taken in a long time. It’s so good to be home.
Drool: I got about 0.39 hours of sleep last night, for no really good reason. We got up at 5am to get an early start. I am rarely able to sleep in the car but I surprised myself by falling into a deep, drool-inducing sleep, despite the fact that the kids were screaming in the back seat and the husband was mediating their disagreements with a calm and patient manner listening to the radio at approximately 380035794 decibels.
Chill: There is just no way for me to deny it any longer. I am so. on. edge. about the move. I am so anxious about crossing the border and getting our visas (not to mention the layers upon layers of subsequent details that have yet to be worked out – like where A PLACE TO LIVE, not that that is important, right?) that my stomach starts churning when I think about it. So I try not to think about it. But there’s no way I can ignore it as the 87 bazillion details involved in moving to the USA are closing in on us and there is just no way to deny their presence. But my powers of denial are simply not strong enough to keep reality from intruding! Damn it! The bottom line is I have been a crazy bitch bit snappish to my dear husband who is the one who is working really hard to make this move go smoothly and to my poor kids who are innocent bystanders in this whole process. Anxiety is all part of the process for me, but I need to quit taking it out on my family.
Cheerios: We are staying with some very good friends while we’re in Saskatoon for the next two weeks. And because of our poor impeccable timing, we arrived on the same day that they moved into a new house. They are gracious people and have welcomed us with open arms, despite the fact that we have arrived at the worst possible time. I attempted to make myself useful and help unpack the boxes with the kitchen stuff but instead of being a helpful friend, I have become the crazy friend who is unreasonably preoccupied with the fact that they had FOURTEEN BOXES OF CEREAL FOR TWO PEOPLE! FOURTEEN!!! Who eats that much cereal, or requires that much variety in breakfast cereal? That’s what my friends get for welcoming me into their home. Mockery on the internet. But I’m so worth it!
Two: How did I forget how much “two” sucks? Kieran is so contrary and difficult right now. I mean, he’s still a generally pleasant little guy, but there have been way too many random shouts of “NO!” and screaming, just because it feels good, and hitting of his sister, and . And WHY, for the love of all that is holy, will the child not swallow his food? I can get him to put nearly anything in his mouth but I’ll be damned if the little bugger won’t just swish the same bite of food around his mouth for hours, rather than admit defeat give in and swallow. While I admire his tenacity, the two-year-old-stubborn-streak is not doing much to improve my mood lately. The enfuriating thing is that I can reprimand, yell speak firmly and sternly, coax, coo and cry, but no matter what I do, the only thing that works is standing him in the corner for a time out. Just the act of standing in the confined space of the corner seems to spur his saliva glands into action, almost instantaneously. I’m considering locking him in a closet or a kitchen cupboard for his meals from now on.