My parents have a fairly new house. It was built almost 5 years ago now. It is lovely and modern and has room for us to visit for lengthy moderate short periods of time.  My mom is an excellent housekeeper and her house is always spotless. I hardly feel I should complain about this little issue we’ve been having since we arrived 2 weeks ago. 

Buuuut we all know I’m going to do it anyway so on with the show!  

There’s a little problem with spiders in the lovely, modern, finished basement, which is where we sleep.  The spiders have found a way into the basement from somewhere.  They typically show up in the bathroom and make their way towards the rest of the house from there. But they are not creeping in through the drains or anything like that. And I think they know we’re here, because the incidences of arachnocide have increased from about once per day when we arrived to about 3-4 times per day.  I’ve killed so many spiders I could be in my own horror movie.

Spiders are so insidious! There is never any warning that they’re coming. No buzzing, whirring or clicking. You just suddenly become aware of something creeping along beside your head while you’re in bed or around your toes when you step out of the shower.

I’ve never been really scared of spiders, but I’m definitely not a fan, by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve tried to keep my hatred of creepy crawlies to a vague disdain in order to keep Avery from losing her shit every time she sees one. But I have to say that, despite the fact that I keep calm, it is NOT WORKING.  She is terrified beyond all reason and stricken with the inability to control her vocal chords, every time a spider appears in her vicinity. She screams the blood curdling scream of a thousand bee stings, or a person soaked in gasoline and set afire. There is NO talking her down in her horrified state. Just the other night we were playing cards with my parents after the kids were in bed and she came flying up the stairs, pants around her ankles, shrieking that there is “A SPIDER! A SPIDER IN THE BATHROOM! MOMMEEEE!!!!! ASPIDERINTHEBATHROOMPLEASEKILLIT!!!”  

Now I have no doubt that running into a spider while you are in the middle of – erm – doing your “business” is traumatic. But what about the mother who has to talk you down, convince you to come back to basement bathroom and WIPE, and then look for a spider which, naturally, has now scuttled away to hide from the wailing banshee? Then I have to kill A DIFFERENT SPIDER that came to see what all the fuss was about, and then continue on with life, knowing that the original spider is STILL IN THE BATHROOM WAITING FOR ME!

Two small bites showed up on Avery’s neck this week.  I told her they were bites of some kind and when she asked what bit her I had to lie and say it was a mosquito, despite the fact that I know exactly what little bastards have been biting her. I just didn’t want to deal with the messy aftermath of telling her that spiders have likely been crawling all over her and nibbling on her while she sleeps. Because hello? I am very fond of sleep! And if I told her that spiders were not just hiding in the bathroom but had perhaps entered the sacred territory of her bed NONE OF US WOULD EVER SLEEP AGAIN!

I’m thinking it’s probably a good thing we’re leaving tomorrow. That and the fact that it’s been wet and cool here for the past two weeks. Tomorrow it’s supposed to warm up and dry out and we all know that in Manitoba that means that this week will mark the birthdays of millions and millions of baby mosquitoes! We love hanging out with my parents but I think we’ve had enough of the critters around here!