Number of different homes we’ve slept in since Thursday: 4
Number of kilometers driven since Friday: 2, 386
Number of minutes it took for Avery to ask if we are “there yet?”: 5
Number of times Avery asked if we are “there yet”: 1498
Number of birthday cakes Kieran had on his birthday: 2
Number of items loaded into our moving van: 234
Number of men who loaded our belongings onto the moving van: 2
Number of men who loaded our belongings onto the moving van while drunk: 1
Number of complaint letters written about said drunk worker: 1
Number of naps taken by kids while driving in the car: not enough
Number of times we were warned about roaming moose on the road in Ontario: 28
Number of actual moose sighted: 0
Number of dollars Ontario spent on maintaining their highways in the past year: $2.50
Number of times we thought we were finally getting pulled over for speeding: 12
Number of actual speeding tickets: 0
Number of topics to argue about while confined in a car with one’s family for hours at a time: there isn’t a number big enough
It’s been a hectic week for us but we managed to finish our packing and get all of our possessions loaded onto a moving truck and put into storage until such time as we have an address in Boston to have them delivered. We have driven across every. single. inch. of Ontario, with a brief stay up north and are now in Manitoba, spending time with my family.
I’d love to write something clever and witty but…I got nothing. Still catching up from the trauma that is a week of almost no sleep, followed by 27 hours in a car with a 4 and 2 year old who are both currently nursing “summer colds”. So let me just share a list that I compiled during our long trip:
A Brief List of Things That My Husband and I Can Argue About On Car Trips (just in case we run out of ideas)
-what radio station to listen to
-whether the volume is too loud or too soft
-whether the kids can watch (another) dvd
-which dvd the kids should watch
-if the windows can or should be down
-when to stop for breakfast/lunch/dinner
-where to stop for breakfast/lunch/dinner
-how long to stop for breakfast/lunch/dinner
-how fast we are driving
-how fast we should be driving
-how much the speeding ticket would be if we got pulled over right now
-how cold (or hot) it is in the car
-about the operation of our new GPS
-about my husband trying to operate the GPS while driving
-about which “voice” to choose for the GPS to use for guiding us to our destination (the female American voice or the male British voice)
-about the passenger not paying enough attention to/occupying the kids
-about where the damn power cords are for all the damn electronics we brought along
-about why we felt the need to bring so many damn electronic items along
-about whether our son needs to wear a hat so as not to get a sunburn through the car window (which was closed)
-whether the kids can have another snack
-what the kids can have for said snack
-about cleaning all the crumbs/shrapnel from aforementioned snack
-about the fact that we didn’t get enough water/juice to hold us over until the next stop
-how long Avery can wait after her first announcement that she has to pee
-about the meanings of words
-about our plans for moving/buying a house/life in Cambridge
…and oh my the list could go on and on and on. Isn’t family togetherness a *blessing*? I think we were all just a touch past cranky this trip and it was a bit hard on everyone. But I promise you, no one was harmed in the making of this family vacation.
June 4th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
of said list, I would like to interject:
For the love of everything holy, WATCH OUT FOR MOOSE ! yes.. you can go an eternity and not see them, but they’re out there. They strike when you’re not watching. Also the dreaded caterpillar puddles. You gotta watch out for those now too. Like oilslicks out of nowhere.
There isn’t a female British voice? one with a thick accent would be very entertaining.
Sunburns can totally happen through glass. A hat will only save the face. What about the rest of the body?! Do you want your kids going around with ‘trucker-tan’ all summer long? What would the new neighbors think!? Adverting any window paraphernalia like miniature blinds with suction-cups (because what would the new neighbors think?), I think you are left with only one avenue. Every time you get back in the car you have to choose which one gets the ‘sunnyside’ of the car. Which child will be exposed to the harmful and dangerous solar radiation that filters through our windows? Or maybe just use the spray-on sunblock?
June 5th, 2008 at 11:55 am
I hope that the male British GPS voice won the battle. I also hope that it can talk dirty, because if so, I need it.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
He did win! And I suppose some of what he says could be interpreted as talking dirty. The way he says “Highway 59″ sounds a bit cheeky.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Shannon, love this post. You are so funny!
I wish I could have been kid #3 in your car, piping up about having to pee and “are we there yet?” just to watch both your faces.
Glad you made it safely and can now reside in different rooms, if you choose!
June 6th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I agree with Oliver . . . you can get a nasty sunburn through the window. When my family was moving to New Brunswick, I had the window seat on the plane. I was sporting a bright red sunburn on the right side of my face for a few days after that!
There is a female British voice on the Garmin GPS. My friend Sarah uses that one. There is also a male Australian voice . . . you should try that one.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Ok, now I feel like a bad parent for NOT putting sunscreen on my kids when they are in the car! Thanks guys!