Living in the Gray

I’ve been wanting to post for a few days now. We’ve been busy with family and it’s been really great to just sit back, relax, and celebrate our accomplishment.  The hubby graduated on Friday and it was a pretty great day, all in all.  He made the Dean’s List and graduated with distinction which came as a bit of a surprise to both of us!  Not that he is not smart enough or capable of making high grades.  He has a very strong work ethic and has worked his backside off all year long. But when we began this year we talked about it and agreed that he might have to sacrifice a little bit in the grades department in order to not completely neglect the family department. I think we managed a pretty good balance.  But I am so proud of him for making the Dean’s List!  The truth is that a person with a family and children has to work a lot harder to get the same grades than someone who doesn’t have those responsibilities. Kids (and, ok, maybe a wife) are a big black hole of distraction and steal a lot of much-needed rest. Especially when you are in such a demanding program and you reeeeally need that rest.

So let me just say that my husband deserved the recognition he got on Friday, and a whole lot more.  I couldn’t be more pleased.  Also? I am SO GLAD THIS YEAR IS DONE!  WOOHOO! WE DID IT!

It was interesting to see how many people skipped the convocation ceremonies all together. I was surprised that it doesn’t mean much to some people.  I’ve been thinking a  lot about the role of ceremony in our lives and what it signifies and whether or not it is important.

I’ve come to the decision that it is more important to some than others.  Of course we all know that ceremony is symbolic. It doesn’t mean anything.  But to me it feels highly significant. Perhaps it has to do with my Judeo-Christian upbringing or my cultural heritage. Perhaps it has to do with my personality.  But the role of ritual, be it holidays, seasons, birthdays, baptisms, weddings or graduations, has been and continues to be important to me and my family.

I feel it is important to embrace ceremony.  Even though it wasn’t me graduating, convocation was a moment to step back and appreciate what has been accomplished this year.  A baptism or child dedication is a moment for parents to reflect on their intentions in raising a child or to express gratitude for the life of their child. A wedding is marker of the commitment and love of a couple for each other.

Is the ritual necessary to fully experience an accomplishment or one’s beliefs or feelings?  Certainly not.  For me, it is a way to fully drink in a moment.  To treasure its beauty, acknowledge it as important, and to mark it for history.  I suspect there are some people for whom simply having an experience is enough. I am not one of them.

As long as there are meaningful life moments, I believe there should be ways of recognizing them. A marker can be constructed in many different ways to suit different people and different circumstances.  People, gifts, words, experiences and events can all be  used symbolically to say “This is what I have accomplished/I have made this decision/This is how far I have come”. Bottom line? I think sometimes a line in the sand can be very healthy and it can be useful and even beautiful.