Avery has gotten into playing games on the Sesame Street website lately. She particularly favours an Elmo game and I have to say that Elmo’s voice is ranking quite closely behind Dora, the Evil Preschool Overlord, in mind-numbing irritation. And so, as I listened to Elmo’s voice the other day, I came up with some one-liners I would truly like to hear Elmo say. Here they are (and remember, you have to imagine them coming from a furry, red puppet with empty eyes, a high-pitched, yet gravelly voice, and a manically cheerful personality):
Elmo was an accident!
Elmo has two mommies!
Elmo is a nudist!
Sometimes Elmo blacks out and loses hours at a time!
Elmo is bi-polar!
Elmo says sometimes tickling is “inappropriate”!
Elmo dyes his hair! (Because of an unhealthy obsession with the colour red.)
What would you like to hear Elmo say?
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My daughter used to have a sick obsession with Elmo. I’d love to hear him say any of those things.