Ok, if you know me, you know I almost never send email forwards because 1) most of them are stupid and 2) the rest are stupid AND hoaxes (also known as email viruses perpetuated by stupid people). But I got this one the other day that really cracked me up because it is SO TRUE! And so, instead of forwarding it, I am posting it here. If you (like me) automatically delete almost everything that has the word FORWARD in the subject line, I won’t be offended if you choose to stop reading here.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning, uphill, both ways, yada, yada! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it. But now that I’m over the ripe old age of 30 [Editor's note: For the record, I am not over the age of 30, nor do I consider those who are, "ripe" or "old".], I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! Compared to my childhood you live in a damn Utopia! I hate to say it, but you kids today! You don’t know how good you’ve got it!

When I was a kid we didn’t have the internet. If we wanted to know something we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!

There was no email. We had to actually write a letter WITH A PEN. Then we had to walk ALL THE WAY across the street and put it in the mailbox. And it would take a week to get there!

There were no MP3’s or ITunes. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and f#@k it all up!

We didn’t have fancy things like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal. That’s it! And we didn’t have Caller ID either! When the phone rang we had no idea who it was! It could be your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent. You just didn’t know. You had to pick it up and take your chances Mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstations with high resolution 3D graphics. We had the Atari 2600! With games like “Space Invaders” and “Asteroids” and the graphics sucked. Your “guy” was a little square. You actually had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens. It was just ONE SCREEN FOREVER and you could NEVER WIN. The game just kept getting harder and faster until you died. JUST LIKE LIFE.

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some lady with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see you were just screwed.

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. When it came to channel surfing you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I’m saying??? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

We didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire! If we wanted popcorn we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy! You’re spoiled! You guys wouldn’t last five minutes back in 1980 [Editor's Note: The year I was born.] Oh yeah, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd [Editor's Note: Or the Just Under 30 Crowd]