Don’t get me wrong. I really appreciate my husband. Really. But he has a few, well, let’s call them quirks, that I just don’t get.
Like why he folds the laundry, ever-so-painstakingly, but doesn’t sort it (my clothes from his, tank tops from t-shirts, pants from shorts, etc.) so the neatly folded clothes all end up in a huge mess when I am trying to sort them as I put them away. But I hate folding laundry so I shouldn’t complain that he has willingly done it for me, right?
And why he is unable to remember that the kids legs are short and that he has to adjust his pace to account for said shortness. But some fathers don’t take their kids for walks to the park at all. So I should just be grateful.
But how come such an intelligent person is bewildered when faced with a cold can of baked beans and must ask for instructions on how to heat them up? There are two warming devices in our kitchen which you have used and watched me use. The stove and the microwave. Pick one. Insert beans. Voila! But lots of guys would never even consider helping make warm up dinner for the kids. I’m glad he helps.
Could someone just tell me why a person who is pretty gung-ho about recycling continually deposits bottles/cans on the counter when it is basically the same distance to the bag in the storage room as it is to the counter? They don’t get in the bag via my magical powers of levitation, believe it or not. But some people don’t care about the earth and can’t be bothered to advocate for recycling at all.
I just can’t understand how a person could spend ten minutes loading a dishwasher, finding the correct angle for every dish to maximize the surface area hit by the water spray for optimum cleaning and then close the door and forget to press the START BUTTON EVERY TIME (thereby leaving one’s wife to discover a full load of dirty dishes in the morning when she is ready to load the dirty breakfast dishes. Especially when one’s wife is crabby and tired not her normally cheerful and forgiving self, having been awoken too early by the sadists children)! But, you know, there are many husbands who wouldn’t load the dishwasher at all. I am lucky to have one who does.
It is fascinating to me that this man, who can remember every detail of a history class we took together nine years ago (when I can’t even remember the class name) and still remembers how to do complex mathematical equations from high school math and science, can’t remember everything he needs to take with him before he walks out the door in the morning. Every morning we say goodbye, he leaves, and then he comes back anywhere from ten seconds to ten minutes later to pick up his lunch/phone/book/papers/helmet. Every morning! But most people don’t get to say goodbye to their husband/daddy two times a day. So we are blessed!
Really, I can’t complain. Ok I kinda just did. But I probably shouldn’t complain. So when you read this babe, you can know that I know how good I have it. Except for one tiny thing…
Why does a person who is so particular about good table manners persist in piling food on the wrong side of the fork??? The fork is designed as a scoop of sorts. There is clearly a “right” side for the food to rest on. Why, oh why, must he put use his fork upside-down where it continually falls off and must be shoveled back onto the utensil eleventy million times per meal???? What is his problem? Am I the only one who thinks this is ludicrous? It’s like there is some weird malfunction in his brain when it comes to silverware and he simply can’t do it the right way. And, oh yes, I sticking to my guns on this one. There are some fights I will not back down from and this is one of them. Readers, please weigh in. Is there a correct side of the fork tines on which to deposit your food?
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That same list can be duplicated by most women I know. However is only a tiny fraction of the list most men can make about the things they can’t understand about women
I use the round side of the fork sometimes to mash down on something and make it stick to it if i’m having trouble scooping it, however that is the only acceptable use for the round side of the fork IMHO. Could be a good weight loss trick though
I must admit, I didn’t know there was a right side of the tines.
There _is_ a right and a wrong way to hold a fork.
Since we live in CANADA, a BRITISH COMMONWEALTH COUNTRY, we observe the EUROPEAN form of etiquette when holding a fork.
To quote http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork_etiquette :
“The European manner is to hold the knife and fork, in the right and left hands respectively, throughout consumption. The hand grasp is also different: in Europe it is considered better manners not to hold a knife or fork as one would hold a pen, but to have the handle running along the palm and extending out to be held by thumb and forefinger. This style is sometimes called ‘hidden handle’. This method is also common in Canada and other former parts of the British Empire. In contrast to the American method of using a fork much like a spoon (tines up), the British primarily use the fork with tines facing away from the user (tines down).”
Shan, You are certainly right in this case!
Post’s Etiquette, chapter 35 (The Kindergarten of Etiquette) states,
“THE PROPER USE OF THE FORK
As soon, therefore, as his hand is dexterous enough, the child must be taught to hold his fork, no longer gripped baby-fashion in his fist, but much as a pencil is held in writing; only the fingers are placed nearer the “top” than the “point,” the thumb and two first fingers are closed around the handle two-thirds of the way up the shank, and the food is taken up shovel-wise on the turned-up prongs. At first his little fingers will hold his fork stiffly, but as he grows older his fingers will become more flexible just as they will in holding his pencil. If he finds it hard work to shovel his food, he can, for a while, continue to use his nursery pusher. By and by the pusher is changed for a small piece of bread, which is held in his left hand and between thumb and first two fingers, and against which the fork shovels up such elusive articles as corn, peas, poached egg, etc.”
Emily Post (1873–1960). Etiquette. 1922.
This is elementary etiquette that is taught to a child upon becoming old enough to manage a fork. We’re talking 3. How old is the hubby?
Kate:
I hope you realise that you are quoting an American author. (notice my use of ’s’ instead of ‘z’!). Apparently Emily Post forgets to notice which side of the plate the knife and fork are placed - they are positioned so you don’t have ’swap’ hands. Besides, you should be aghast by the description of using the fork to ’shovel’ food!
Just so we are all on the same page, here are some pictures demonstrating the correct holding of the utensils:
* Fork: http://tinyurl.com/4cw4ln
* Knife: http://tinyurl.com/43xt8k
The European grip is clearly meant for Stabbing food, not for the Shoveling that Shannon describes. The rounded side of the fork is clearly no good for Shoveling. Perhaps when Europeans want to Shovel food, they use a spoon!
View this photo. I don’t think any further comment is nessesary.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7180661.stm
Lol. When I was reading this post I never expected to find such a heated debate over the proper way to hold a fork!
But Colin…sorry, I have to agree with Shan on this one. It’s just not logical to hold your fork “upside down”.
Shan, it was really nice to read how you solved your frustrations after each complaint by realizing that at least your husband takes time to help out. I think you’ve got a keeper.
I have never given this much thought until I read the post and the comments. I paid attention while eating dinner tonight.
I rotate!
How’s that for being annoying and indecisive.
OK, I’m confused. He holds his fork in the wrong HAND or he holds it UPSIDE DOWN? Obviously, if you are right-handed you use your right hand for your fork, unless you are cutting something. And vice-versa for left handed. Right? I mean, duh. Right? Or am I wrong? And if he is holding it UPSIDE DOWN, I just can’t even imagine marrying someone who holds their forks upside down.
That’s just plain weird.
Holy crap, I could have written this post. I got especially mad when I was pregnant and not drinking red bull (I’m still not drinking it actually, since I’m nursing but that’s neither here nor there) and I would find those damned cans all over the kitchen, everywhere except the sink, which is where they go before we recycle them. EVERY TIME. So I feel you sister.
There is most definitely a right side of the fork! I don’t even know how one would go about using the wrong side. I think you need to video this for us. Hope you are having a fabulous weekend!