Apr 30

There’s this funny thing about kids. Sometimes they repeat stages you thought you were long past.   Just to screw with us. A previously secure and independent child suddenly clings to your leg, crying like a newborn with a wicked diaper rash. A baby who was nursing fine reverts to fussing wailing and gnashing their gums instead of eating. A potty-trained preschooler starts having accidents. Usually on expensive furniture.

Or, say, an almost two year old randomly starts sleeping poorly, drooling like a maniac, chewing on everything in sight, sports flaming red cheeks and pooping 18, 739 times a day.  It took me weeks to figure out what in the holy hell was going on.  And then the light bulb sparked in the dark recesses of my mind and the word “teething” dawned on me like a red, apocalyptic sun.  I had forgotten about those ominously labeled “Two Year Molars”.  Just when I thought the horrors of teething were behind us. Just when the psychological scars of sleep deprivation and hours and hours of relentless crying (by the baby, not me. mostly.) had begun to fade.  Just when I thought we were past that whole spectacular torture called teething, we seem to have won an all expense paid trip to Bone-cutting-through-flesh-in-an-excrutiatingly-slow-and-painful-manner-ville (just off the coast of So-help-me-I-will-put-this-hamburger-in-the-blender-ton). Lucky us!

Apr 29

Ok, if you know me, you know I almost never send email forwards because 1) most of them are stupid and 2) the rest are stupid AND hoaxes (also known as email viruses perpetuated by stupid people). But I got this one the other day that really cracked me up because it is SO TRUE! And so, instead of forwarding it, I am posting it here. If you (like me) automatically delete almost everything that has the word FORWARD in the subject line, I won’t be offended if you choose to stop reading here. :)

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning, uphill, both ways, yada, yada! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it. But now that I’m over the ripe old age of 30 [Editor's note: For the record, I am not over the age of 30, nor do I consider those who are, "ripe" or "old".], I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! Compared to my childhood you live in a damn Utopia! I hate to say it, but you kids today! You don’t know how good you’ve got it!

When I was a kid we didn’t have the internet. If we wanted to know something we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!

There was no email. We had to actually write a letter WITH A PEN. Then we had to walk ALL THE WAY across the street and put it in the mailbox. And it would take a week to get there!

There were no MP3’s or ITunes. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and f#@k it all up!

We didn’t have fancy things like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal. That’s it! And we didn’t have Caller ID either! When the phone rang we had no idea who it was! It could be your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent. You just didn’t know. You had to pick it up and take your chances Mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstations with high resolution 3D graphics. We had the Atari 2600! With games like “Space Invaders” and “Asteroids” and the graphics sucked. Your “guy” was a little square. You actually had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens. It was just ONE SCREEN FOREVER and you could NEVER WIN. The game just kept getting harder and faster until you died. JUST LIKE LIFE.

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some lady with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see you were just screwed.

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. When it came to channel surfing you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I’m saying??? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

We didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire! If we wanted popcorn we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy! You’re spoiled! You guys wouldn’t last five minutes back in 1980 [Editor's Note: The year I was born.] Oh yeah, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd [Editor's Note: Or the Just Under 30 Crowd]

Apr 28

Tonight we (the hubby and I) enjoyed a stay-at-home date including Chinese food and a movie called Across the Universe.  This film was totally fun to watch and I am going to have to heartily recommend it which is surprising because my husband picked it out and our taste in movies has drastically diverged in the past eight years. He pretended to like the movies I liked when we were dating (mostly sappy dramas or a good heist movie with gratuitous violence) but dumped them in favour of artsy foreign films and wacky, nihilistic indie films as soon as we got married.

The really interesting aspect of the film is that it features music exclusively by The Beatles.  It’s kind of a musical/drama set in America during the Vietnam War.  I know many of you weren’t fooled a bit by my attempt to hide the word “musical” in that last sentence. But really, it’s less like The Sound of Music and more like a two hour Beatles music video.  The interpretation of the 33 Beatles songs in this movie is creative, original, witty, clever and entertaining!  I promise, you won’t be disappointed!

Well, now that I’ve hyped it up like that, maybe you will be. But you should watch it anyway. The soundtrack is phenomenal and is now at the top of my list to purchase in the near future.

Apr 27

Some days it’s harder to believe than others…

[Edited to add: Since I posted this I've realized that perhaps it's less than clear. Even my husband was asking about it. Yes, the picture is from PostSecret. No, I did not mail it in myself. It just resonates with me, as a person with an incurable disease. I would like to be able to say that "the disease does not have me", but some days it is hard to say, feel or believe that. But I found this picture inspiring and encouraging.]

Apr 23

Have I mentioned how much spring is totally rocking my socks off?  I am so not missing Saskatchewan weather right now.  Daffodils are one of my favorite flowers and I have been enjoying seeing them in almost every flower bed this week.

Apr 23

Thanks to Jenn at Wind Blows Deeply for this.

Apr 22

Daddy: Hey Avery! Who’s on first?

Avery: What?

Daddy: No, he’s on second!

Avery: ………….. Oh.

Yeah…the joke was lost on her.

Apr 22

To My Children,

Seven years ago today a teenager, three days shy of his sixteenth birthday, was hurting. He felt so much pain that he chose to end it in the only way he could. On a weekend when his parents were away he gathered up some bedsheets, went downstairs into the laundry room, tied a noose, and hung himself.  This teenager was your Dad’s brother. Your Uncle E.

The shock of E’s suicide and the subsequent grief has had far reaching effects on our family.  Death is always shocking. Even when it’s expected, loss is always unfathomable.  But suicide adds a whole other level of of grief.  The family and friends of the deceased grieve over the fact that they failed to see it coming, that they weren’t able to help their loved one out of the darkness in which they were trapped.  Some religious people believe suicide to have eternal implications and that kind of fear and guilt can be overwhelming for many who lose someone to self-inflicted death.

We have struggled with how to resolve feelings of anger and helplessness. We have questioned and we have spoken many “what if’s” into the night.  Ultimately, it was out of our hands and we have had to accept that.  But if there is one thing that I want to come from this tragedy, one thing that I demand from the universe, is that my children will know, without a doubt, these things:

First, suicide is selfish.  This is perhaps a controversial thing to say, in light of the fact that most people who commit suicide are suffering from terrible depression.  But you must understand that if you take your own life to relieve your pain, you do so at the expense of the suffering of many others. How many? That may not be known until after you are gone.  And the pain, guilt, fear, and anger that your family suffers goes on for the rest of their lives.  Should you ever feel that death is the only out for you, I beg you to remember that this kind of selfishness is hard for those left behind to forgive. It is not impossible. But it is very hard.

Second, depression runs in your family on both sides.  Many family members have experience varying degrees of this illness.  You have a genetic predisposition.  I hope you never have this struggle, but if you do, you need to know that you will never find judgment from us. Only acceptance and support.  You must never feel that it is something to be ashamed of, any more than any other physical illness.  It is biology and chemistry, not weakness. You need to treat it appropriately.  Be kind to yourself and try to be patient.  If you require medication, accept it willingly. Accept the help of medical professionals, family and friends.  Do what it takes to be healthy.  If this disease attacks you young, the way it did E, I hope you will come to us and ask us for help.  I hate the thought of you in pain, but even more, I hate the thought of you suffering without our love and support.  We will always, always be there to help you.

Third, your father and I will do anything it takes to help you, regardless of the cost.  If there are problems at school we will work with you and your teachers to make it better. If it means changing schools, homeschooling, moving, we will do what it takes. Those scenarios are dramatic. But I want you to know that we are committed to you more than anyone else.  We are committed to your happiness.  Completely committed. If you need us to help you with something that’s too big for you to face alone, we will be there. We will help you find help. We will help you get healthy. We will help you find your footing in life.

Fourth, you need to know that high school is short.  I don’t say this to minimize what happens in those years because although the years may pass quickly, the days may be agonizingly slow, especially if you are unhappy.  I know the ghosts of adolescence haunt many of us for the rest of our lives and although I hope the majority of yours are happy ones, I’m not naive enough to believe that everyone has that experience.  I will do everything I can to help you through it smoothly, but in the times when it gets bumpy, I hope you will remember that those days are only a few drops in the ocean.  There will come a day when you will swim in a much bigger pond and have the opportunity to meet more people who are just like you, who share the same interests and goals.  I hope you make friends like that in high school, but if you don’t, I hope you remember that there are lots of people out there like you.  They just may not be within your grasp yet.

Fifth, as a teenager you may sometimes feel that you do not have enough control.  I hope to be able to give you the freedom and independence you will need. But I can’t control many things, just as you can’t.  Neither of us can control the way others treat us.  Neither of us can control the unfair judgments the world places on us.  Neither of us are able to control the currents of growth, the rapids of friendship, the eddies of circumstance. But you have the ability to control your existence. You can choose to end your life. But you can’t bring it back again once it’s gone. I can’t control accidents or disease or death and ultimately, I can’t control your choices.  That choice is sacred and I hope you will use it well.

And finally, know that your father and I hope to see you make many wonderful choices, to direct your own path as you choose. We look forward to knowing the people you will become.  We try to prepare for your disappointments just as we anticipate your successes. But we will always be thankful that you are here.  We will always hope that you continue to choose to be here. And we will always love you.

Love
Your Mom

Apr 21

A really thought-provoking piece over at The Meming of Life today. I so appreciate Dale McGowan for his caring, non-judgmental approach to…well…everything. But especially people. This post on Thomas Huxley’s experience really resounds with the agnostic in me. Enjoy.

Apr 20

Sunday Morning Moments of Poetry:

  • When the offering had been collected at church two men carried the plates up to the altar and there was a prayer of dedication. The two gentlemen were both older, with gray hair and slightly stooped shoulders.  One was dressed in a nice blue suit and the other in a plaid shirt, work overalls, and a ball cap hanging out of his back pocket. To me, it was a moment of poetry.  A picture of what religion should be like. An illustration of what really doesn’t matter (appearance) and what really does matter (common goals, attitude, inclusion, tolerance).  It was beautiful, truly.

Sunday Morning Moment of Irony:

  • This Sunday was “Environment Sunday” or “The Greening of the Cross” as it is called at this particular church.  The focus was on our responsibility to “touch the earth lightly” which I thought was a really valuable and lovely message. And an important one that is frequently neglected in Christian circles.  So there was this simple wooden cross that had some kind of mesh attached to it and the congregation was invited to come to the front and affix a flower to the cross as a symbol of our commitment to be gentle with the earth. You can imagine my disappointment and disillusionment when I reached the front and found baskets of plastic flowers.  Huh? Carbon footprint? What’s that?

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