Avery has been playing “church” lately.  Playing church routinely starts with Avery taking a wide-legged stance, spreading her arms and shouting “Ladeeeeez and Gentlemen!  Boyzzz and Girlzzz!! WELCOME! TOOOOO! CHUUUURCH!!!!” in the manner of the ringmaster at the circus.

I can one hundred percent guarantee that we have never been to any religious service that starts out this way.   We have also never been to the circus.  But I wish we would encounter a church that begins services like this.  It certainly sets a festive mood.

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We got an email from the landlord today. This is what he said (in my paraphrased version):

Dear Tenants,

I did some research. You are right about being legally allowed to switch over to a monthly rental. I hang my head in shame.

Eating Humble Pie,
The Landlord

We rejoiced in our victory over the ignorant.  A few hours later we received this email (again, paraphrased):

Dear Tenants,

Since you gave notice that you would be gone by the end of May (in some random email which I do not want to discuss) I expect you to be gone by then. I have a new tenant who has signed a lease starting June 1.

Suck it.
The Landlord

We heaved a collective sigh and composed another thoughtful diatribe to our ever-insidious landlord:

Dear Landlord,

Since when is “we plan to continue renting on a monthly basis until we let you know otherwise” giving notice?  You are a dumbass.

Love,
The Tenants

Will keep you all informed how that works out.  SIGH…

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I pulled to a stop at a red light the other day and the car next to me honked lightly (in that “Hey there! I’m not trying to piss you off but need to get your attention” way) and rolled down his window. I followed suit and the driver informed me my hubcap had fallen off.  I asked where and he pointed behind us and said “Back there”.  From his body language I gathered he meant “back there” as in a half a block or so.

At that moment the light turned green. Not knowing the exact location of my hubcap, and having a long line of vehicles behind me, I decided to drive forward, turn around and try and come back and locate my hubcap.

As I pull away from the cars behind me I realize that the hubcap had actually fallen off just metres behind my car. I see a person out of their car, seemingly picking it up.  I turn into a parking lot to reorient the car and go back. I drive by the spot, moments later, wondering if the person had thrown the hubcap to the side of the road, or had put it in their car and was going to follow me until I pulled over?

I return to the scene of the crime.  But the hubcap? Is gone.  As in not anywhere.  Trust me, I looked.  Someone stole my hubcap right in front of behind my eyes!!!  I was watching them in my rearview mirror but not really comprehending what was going on.  And then, while I was turning around to come back for it, they were speeding away with their ill-gotten booty in tow!  I am so annoyed and more than a bit surprised that a driver would be so bold.

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I’ve had a little cold. Not too terrible. A bit sniffly is all. But I woke up Saturday morning with no voice.  At. All.  And the voicelessness continued the whole weekend.  This happens to me very rarely. So I had my first taste of Mute Parenting.

Let me tell you, Mute Parenting should be an olympic sport!  It is virtually impossible to impose your divine will on little people without the aid of your mean crazed psychotic loud Mommy voice!  Trying yelling in a whisper some time.  I think I sprained a vocal chord.  And my pointing finger? Is pointed out, y’all.

Thank the Baby Jeebus that my voice is back since yesterday. Although I sound like Satan incarnate with the hoarse/husky/evil voice I’m sporting.  Which is also very effective in motivating spawn to obedience.  Note to self….