Over the past six months the hubby has been a busy little beaver, applying for jobs at a variety of companies.  The tweaking of resumes and the composing of cover letters have been frequent topics of conversation in our home.  Thus far, my mechanism for coping with the uncertainty of our situation has been to nag my husband incessantly and wail about how we’re going to end up living in a cardboard box in an alley somewhere.  Surprisingly, this is not bringing about the kind of results I had hoped for.  So I’ve devised a plan.  From now on, any time the hubs sends out a CV to a new company I’m going to include the following pleasant note from myself:

Dear Corporate Businessperson,

The CV you are about to read is absolutely worth your time. I promise!  Because my husband is really, really, smart and you will not regret hiring him. He has the best attitude and works the hardest of anyone I know. He has more passion and more instinct for this business (whatever business it is that you run) than any of the other people you might be thinking are suited for the job.  You should really hire him.

Please know that you are holding my future in your hands.  I can’t over-emphasize how very tense I am about settling what the next step in our life will be. If you intend to fool around with us by dragging out the interview process, or making us wait weeks (or months) before letting us know you aren’t interested, please understand that I will not hesitate to set fire to your place of business, your vehicle, your home and your person.  It’s not that I’m a psychopath violent person. It’s just that the pressure is building and it’s going to vent somewhere. Screwing with us will only divert the path of my fury in your direction.

So why don’t we just agree that my husband is the best person for the job and be done with it?  Trust me, he’s terrific.

Thank you for your time!

Ever so sincerely,

Shannon

What do you think?  Too intense?