Dec 19

Somehow, my phone has wandered off from its usual night-time resting place beside my bed. I’ll give you one guess who is responsible for this…

Who me?

I’ve done a fairly thorough search of the house but it could be in any little crevice or in the garbage or anywhere. My blood pressure is up and my morale is down. Somehow this was the last straw. It’s amazing how just knowing I could pick up the phone and call a friend was encouraging. And knowing that it’s gone has hit me so hard. I am fed up with being the only caregiver. I am feeling like a rotten mother because I’ve had such a short temper with the kids. I am tired because Kieran isn’t sleeping well at night. And I miss my man. Oh and did I mention that every day this week Kieran has woken up with diarrhea sprayed all over the inside of his pajamas?

I am counting the seconds until I can disappear into my parents’ hot tub on Sunday evening and soak my troubles away. Christmas holidays are calling my name and it sounds sooo sweet!

Dec 18

Our little guy (18 months old) is attempting to actually communicate more frequently these days. Unfortunately his vocabulary consists of a series of neatherthal-ish grunts, pointing and an all-purpose word: eesh. We are sometimes able to figure out what word “eesh” indicates by environmental clues although the rules are sometimes arbitrary and so there are no guarantees so the only way to decipher what is going on is to ask a lot of questions. My life is an effing game of 20 questions right now.

By the bathroom sink: eesh=teeth (meaning toothbrush)

In the bathtub: eesh=fish (bath toy)

Standing by the open fridge: eesh=cheese

In the kitchen in general: eesh=juice

When desiring any object, person or action: eesh=please

To indicate the affirmative: eesh=yes

To indicate a specific object: eesh=this

A typical “conversation” goes like this…

Toddler: EESH?

Adult: Do you want something?

Toddler: EESH!

Adult: Would you like some cheese?

Toddler: eesh?

Adult: Oh, you mean juice?

Toddler: *includes frantic pointing* Eesh. Eesh. Eesh. Eesh!

Adult: Cheese AND juice?

Toddler: *nodding* EESH!!!

Update: I forgot a couple other words.  “Orange” is also pronounced “Eesh”.  As is the name of a certain male body part. Eh-hem.  Damn me and my commitment to using the proper names for anatomy!

Dec 18

Discovering that one’s fingers fit perfectly into one’s nostrils and performing said action repeatedly.

Dec 17

Last Christmas I elfed myself. This year it’s a snowball fight featuring my family. Who is the random Asian guy? Well there were five roles and we are only four. What can you do?

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Dec 17

“If you’ve never been, the south of Saskatchewan is so flat the horizon is perceptibly round.  Above you, during the day, lords an immense dome of sky so empty it feels like a fullness, with clouds the size of mountains, the sun but a small disk, and a depth of colour that is often chalk blue, oh so chalk blue.  At night this reassuring curtain of blue is pulled away and you realize where you really are: at infinity’s doorstep.  A plain is what a mountain aims to be: the closest you can come to being in outer space while yet having your feet on this planet.

The language of the plain is the wind. It carries sweetness and fragrance, the wealth of the earth. It is a soothsayer, herald of storm and change of season. And the wind speaks. When you walk in a plain, gusts of words blow through your head, words that have travelled over the surface of the planet. “
- Yann Martel, Self

Yann Martel (author of the well known Life of Pi) is an intriguing writer who, by the way, is currently living in Saskatoon. He describes places as if he has really been there. I don’t know if that is true of all the different countries that appear in Self, but I know he has been to the prairies and the way he describes Saskatchewan in that passage fills me with the good feelings you get when you are really home.

Dec 15

And we’re back at it again!  Kieran is next in our lineup of puking preschoolers, upchucking a lovely little number all over my shirt today.  Thanks for that, big guy! Way to give your all! Literally.

I’m trying to whine in an upbeat, positive way so that y’all will not stop coming here because all I ever do is complain about my sick kids.  But seriously, karma? They weren’t kidding when they said she was a bitch. I just wish I knew what I had done.  I’m feeling a little woozy and I honestly can’t tell if it’s just my hypochondria making itself known or the fact that I’ve cleaned up vomit six out of the last seven days and it makes me want to throw up myself. I mentioned bathing with bleach the other day but I’m on the verge of drinking it, just to ensure any germs in my system are really gone. I hope you can’t OD on Cold FX.

Dec 14

Well, we made it through a whole day with no puking!  By anyone!  Avery managed to eat a little bit at all three meals today!  If we can make it through the night with out any vomit making an appearance (from anyone) then we may actually be in the clear.  Knock. On. Wood.

We’ve made it through two days without daddy around and it’s going fine, except that the little guy really doesn’t understand where daddy is or why he’s not around.  So each morning he starts the day off by asking for “dada” approximately 87 times. And each time we come home from being out he is hoping Colin will be there.  That breaks my heart a little each time. And Avery isn’t afraid to pull out the “I want my daaaaddddy!” when she is having a meltdown. (Another reason I know she’s feeling better today.  She’s got enough energy to break out the diva.)

I cannot believe it’s ten days til Christmas. I think all the illnesses we’ve dealt with in the past few months have warped my sense of time.  I picked up the new Josh Groban Christmas album to remind myself that it really is that time of year (no, shopping for Christmas presents somehow didn’t drive the message home for me).  My verdict is: mediocre.  I luuurve Josh Groban, but this album was a resounding “meh” for me.  It definitely wasn’t bad, and he succeeded in making The Little Drummer Boy (a.k.a. worst Christmas song ever written) palatable. Approaching enjoyable even!  But it didn’t wow me like some of his other albums have.

The highlight of my day today was hearing the s.l.o.w.e.s.t. rendition of “Blue Christmas” in existence.  And if you think the song is a wee bit sad normally, then the pace of this particular version will make you want to slit your wrists.  Seriously. It was that depressing.   Ummm….Merry Christmas?

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This is something I thought about posting a long time ago.  It’s kind of late for those doing their Christmas shopping but if you still need a suggestion for the person who had everything, why not consider making a donation in your friend or family member’s name to better the life of someone who has nothing?  Here are some ideas:

  • Women for Women International – Sponsor a woman in a war-torn country to help her rebuild her life.
  • World Vision – Most people know this organization as one that sponsors children (which is also a great thing to do – only $35/month can change the quality of a child’s life and education) but the link goes to a page on their site.  Here you can donate money that will help those in countries that have been devastated by natural disaster, famine, and war.
  • Gospel For Asia – This is a church planting organization. But once again, they have a page on their site where you can donate money to help those in third world countries. You can purchase animals, tools, a sewing machine or vocational training. This organization also sponsors children.
  • Kiva – I think this is an awesome opportunity to help those in need.  Kiva allows you to lend money to entrepreneurs around the world who are living in poverty.  Not only do you get your money back, but you are helping someone create a business that will allow them to support themselves and their families.  There are small loans that you could take on individually and slightly bigger ones that are shared by a number of lenders.

These are just a few organizations that I am familiar with. I am sure there are many more out there. (Feel free to share them with me!) But I think that they are all excellent ways to embrace the spirit of generosity that many feel at this time of year and reach out to those in need who share this planet with us.

Well now!  That puts me in the Christmas spirit!

Dec 13

Dooce had a really great post today about depression and even though I expect a high percentage of my readers already read her blog, I still want to direct you over there. It’s was really encouraging to me. Especially because I have really been needing to see a doctor about my antidepressant medication and have been putting it off for quite a few months. There are so many reasons to delay it but none of them are as good as the reasons to get in their and try and get things straightened out in my head.

Dec 13

At this moment my husband is on a plane to Bejing, China. Eeek! Though I am excited for him to have this opportunity, I am paranoid that the language barrier will cause him to ingest peanuts and die of anaphylaxis. Despite the fact that he has instructions printed in Mandarin (by people for whom Mandarin is a first language) that he is allergic to peanuts, peanut butter, peanut oil, peanut products of all kinds and for the love of God PLEASE do not feed the Canuck boy peanuts, dammit! I guess I am nervous because I am completely ignorant of Chinese culture. Friends who traveled to Korea told me that allergies are almost unheard of there. I fear the same thing could be true in China (even though I have no reason to believe this) and the lack of education could put Colin in danger. But he’s carrying his epi-pen with him and with his wife nagging him regularly to be vigilant, I have every reason to believe he will be just fine.

Avery continues to be sick. Today is the first day with no hives or fever making an appearance which is good news. However, I took her back to the doctor to ask about the persistent stomach pain and the fact that she has eaten a total of a banana and two digestive cookies since Sunday and whether that might be something I should worry about. He continues to uphold his theory of a nasty case of gastroenteritis and also managed to discover a case of strep throat, too!

Let’s recap. This is what I now believe is going on.

  • Hives – Showed up Sunday as a reaction to her immunization received on Friday. Continued until late Wednesday.
  • Fever, Vomiting, Stomach Cramps – I’ll let the doctor have this one. I think it is the flu. But the worst case of the barfing flu I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen it last more than a day or two, let alone five days and still going strong.
  • Strep Throat – As of today we start a good course of antibiotics for that. Hopefully that will be the end of it.

Here’s a picture of the hives. Not the best quality but it gives you the idea of the itchiness we’re talking about – and this wasn’t the worst of it, by a long shot.

Fun times! It’s like a constant party here. What could make it better? Maybe Kieran getting it. Or worse, me.

Um…I need to go scrub body and house with bleach now.

Dec 12

It’s 1:00am. I should be sleeping. Tomorrow is my last day with my hubby before he’s gone to China. It’s not forever but it’s long enough for me to not be looking forward to it.  An hour ago Avery woke up, puking her guts out. But since she’s basically eaten nothing in three days it was really just dry heaves.  I felt so bad for her.  Poor girl. She has been feeling so sick for three straight days and hasn’t improved at all.  I can’t help but worry about her. And about my ability to deal with a sick little girl and her active brother while their daddy is across the ocean.

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