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An interesting creation by my child. The average viewer is probably searching for any recognizable object in this piece of “art”. Let me give you the guided tour. At the top we see a rainbow, superimposed on a sun and clouds. In the middle of the page we see a picture of a person with a clump of unruly hair on top of their head. The objects on the chest which look like multi-nippled breasts are chocolate chip cookies floating in mid-air. In the lower right we have a few extra hands just in case of some crazy trauma that require multiple limb amputations and reattachments. The jagged line in the background is grass. Or hair. I wasn’t clear.

Hope you enjoyed this little foray into the four year old psyche.

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Tell me your opinion, dear internets.  My four year old was walking around today with a plastic pink toy spoon in her mouth.  This would not be particularly unusual except that she announced that she was pretending to smoke a cigarette.

Now we have talked about cigarettes and how they are bad for you and smell bad and this child has a particularly sensitive nose so she I am by no means concerned that she is going to be sneaking smokes out behind the school during recess.  But I am wondering what is the best response to this kind of play?  My initial reaction was to say that it’s not funny to pretend to be smoking and that it’s a bad habit that makes people sick.  But I wonder if it’s something I should just let go?  Is it really a big deal? I mean, kids play. So what?  Perhaps if she play-acts smoking now she will be less tempted to try it in real life?

Am I crazy for over-thinking such a minor interaction? Probably.  I am not really worried that this is going to seriously affect her but I am curious what other moms out there think about this issue.  Have you encountered the same thing with your kids? What did you do?

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It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted. I don’t have much to say for myself. I think the honeymoon period of the shiny, new blog is officially over. Dry spell? Apathy? Yes. Whatever. Anyway…all of the following are things have crossed my mind in the last week as possible blog fodder but I just have not been able to get myself going. And so. On with the show!

• This morning I was ignoring my kids doing important work on the computer my son walks into the room and he appears to be a bit orange-tinged. His sister had colored all over him, his clothes, herself, her clothes, the couch, the window sill with an orange highlighter. This follows on the heels of coloring on my cell phone just a few days ago which earned her a beating a stern reprimand and one hell of a timeout. What compels this child to do such things??? I’m telling you that she is tempting me to cut off her fingers so that she can’t hold a pen/pencil/marker because every time she gets one of them in her grubby little paws disaster ensues.

• Kieran is almost 16 months old. And today I realized he had almost outgrown a bunch of 18 month size sleepers. He’s one tall little dude. It’s not really surprising because his mommy is just this side of the Friendly Giant. Still, it’s irritating that he’s growing so quickly. In my mind he’s still my little baby, still the massive tiny ten pound, twelve ounce newborn.

• Is it bad that I just feel pissy lately? Some things have happened in which I have felt taken advantage of and more than a bit misunderstood by people/events. Many have not been malicious in any way. Maybe I’m being too sensitive. I know I need to chill out and not take things so personally. But when it happens I react with an intense desire to go home and I retreat a little more into my shell.

• The weather here is still mid-summer beach weather. As much as I really REALLY want to move back west, I am being tempted by the seductress of a warmer climate. I didn’t love the hot, muggy summer but fall is my favorite time of year and it feels like it’s lasting forever which is awesome. The leaves are just starting really change color and I couldn’t be happier about it!

• Kieran has been sleeping at night! Like actually sleeping! For long periods of time! More often than not in the past few weeks he’s slept all the way until 8:00am or later! Honestly, it’s like winning the lottery. He’s definitely earned the “favorite child” position. Although it is being jeopardized by his refusal to say any real words. After hearing “ih? ih? ih?” eleventy billion times a day for the past, oh, six months, I’m about ready to snap.

• Is it just me or is there not ALWAYS someone complaining about the dollar? When it was low we used to joke about how one American dollar would pay our mortgages but now that it’s up equal with the USD we’re complaining about how it’s going to screw with our economy. Now the experts seem to be saying that things were better when the dollar was at about $0.75 USD. But when it was at $0.75 was anybody singing the praises of a good economy??? *Crickets chirping* Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.

• Are you enjoying this babbling so far? Good! I thought so.

• Apparently I am nasally impaired. So says my husband who is (in my opinion) incredibly hyper-sensitive to any and all smells, whether real or imagined. My daughter appears to have inherited this annoying unique gift. You can imagine how this goes over in an old house with the ghosts of all kinds of molds and other lovely substances haunting it. They both whine like four year old girls (while only one of them actually IS a four year old girl) when they go down in the basement.

• Recently I found a small lump in my armpit. I know, I know, again with too much information! You can imagine that my head went straight to all kinds of dark places. We’ve had enough experience with cancer in our family to last a life time. Not being one to overreact, I remained calm panicked and saddled up the old internet. Well of course googling the words “lump” and “underarm” pops up all kinds of sites that include lovely words like “chemotherapy” and “breast cancer”. So I hurried my tushie over to a doctor and had it checked out. Turns out it’s a totally unremarkable blocked sweat gland. Aren’t you just so glad you stopped by? I’m all about sharing the gross and intimate personal details love.

• A little while ago I was talking to someone about the fact that we are hoping to move somewhere with a lower cost of living and a slightly slower pace of life. We mentioned that Saskatoon is probably fairly close to London in terms of the pace of life. Maybe a little slower. This person (who was from Toronto) responded incredulously: “Slower than London??? Is that possible?” I’ve got to say I was extremely offended by this. As I’ve said before, just because smaller cities don’t have 500 clubs on one street doesn’t make them backwards ghettos. I don’t judge you if you want a fast-paced, big city life and please don’t judge me if I choose something different. That doesn’t make me unsophisticated or simple. It makes me different. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. So get over yourself!

• Still with me? Hope so!

• Season Two Premiere of Heroes=AWESOME!!! That is all.

• I gave my husband son haircuts with the clippers. With the little guy it was no problem. With the hubby it was…how shall I say? Scary? I was terrified of doing a bad job and so I was quite hesitant. I’d have to say the final product was…passable. Not spectacular. But not something that would cause you to have nightmares either. I do not know if I dare try this again.

• For the last week or so I’ve been fighting off what I thought was a cold. But as time goes on I’m coming to the sad realization that it is not, in fact, a cold. It is allergies back to bust my buns once again. The allergies that have never bothered me in my twenty-seven years until this past spring when we moved to this smog-covered part of the world. Damn it!

• Ok I think I’ve gotten all of that out of my system. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogaliciousness. I am not proofreading this so there may be stuff in here that I will regret posting later. Oh well. This is my way of living dangerously. Yes, such a risk-taker. It’s shocking.

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Britney Spears has problems.  It’s old news people. If I hear one more thing about the big B.S. I will barf.  But I do have to say that most people I know would say “Thank you Baby Jesus” if they looked as good as she does in a bikini. So shut the hell up about the way she looked at the MTV performance already.  ENOUGH, PEOPLE! ENOUGH!!!

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People I just need to warn you that there is something tragic going on in our fine nation as we speak.  I think it is important the the population be notified in situations such as this.

Here it is: Tim Horton’s has switched from selling Coca Cola products to Pepsi products. It is a travesty that a corporation can make this kind of a switch can take place without some kind of public notice.  Shocking. Disturbing. Appalling.

I just want Canadians everywhere to know that I am here for you.

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Is it bad that I’m wildly happy that it is now the season of “good” TV again?  All the season premieres are happening and I’m so excited!  It’s like Christmas morning. Drawn out over many, many weeks. Sigh…

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I am starting to really get used to this whole school thing.  Because it is kind of freaking awesome.  I kind of feel like I’m getting away with some big scam though.  Seriously!  I drop my kid off every day and for a glorious couple of hours someone else not only keeps her out of harm’s way, but spends time playing with and educating her!  For free!

I realize, of course, that I will eventually have to start contributing in a more substantial way to her education.  I know there will be the learning to read, the homework, the fights with friends and all that.  But for now, I am just hoping that no one blows the lid off the good thing I have going.

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An unfortunate prisoner whiling away the hours in a state run facility.

A guard with an overinflated sense of superiority selects the prisoner for work duty, taunting him with her “poking stick”.

The prisoner is forced to pull the official prison chariot while the unrepentant guard brandishes a whip.

The prisoner revolts. A revolution has begun.

In vain, the evil guard threatens the laughing revolutionary.

With newfound courage the prisoner overpowers the guard and the whip is removed from her possession.

The rod of tyranny is broken once again.

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Most people seem to be able to do it regularly and yet, for 27 years I have not been able to make it a habit. My mom tried to teach me to do it but I rebelled.  For years I only did it when I thought other people might see my bedroom.  It was a small task but one that I just couldn’t bring myself to do.  I had given up all hope that I could become one of those people with such self-discipline. And yet, now, after so many years, I have suddenly pulled it together and have started making my bed every day. No, that’s not a euphemism.  It’s been a couple of months now and I am amazed at the difference it makes, in terms of my bedroom feeling neater, even though there are still piles of crap everywhere.  One small step for me, one giant step for bedroom atmosphere!

So mom, if you’re reading this, your little girl has finally grown up!

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