I got this meme from Swistle and I thought it was pretty hilarious. The instructions are as follows: Write a paragraph about your life in the style of what you might read in your alumni newsletter – extra enthusiastic and unreasonably bubbly. Then write a second paragraph in a more candid (and probably funnier) style.
Here’s what I came up with:
Shannon and Colin are currently residing in London, Ontario where Colin is enjoying the challenges of doing his MBA at the Richard Ivey School of Business. They were blessed with a daughter in 2003 and a son in 2006 – the perfect family! Shannon is thrilled to be staying at home to nurture her children and enjoys many opportunities to teach and admonish them in the ways of the Lord. The family is enjoying their time in London but also looking forward to a wonderful future in a new city at the end of Colin’s schooling in May and are eagerly anticipating making many new friends!
…and now, real life…
Shannon and Colin are currently living in the muggy armpit of Ontario where Colin has sold his soul to the Richard Ivey School of business for a freaking lot of money and mountains of schoolwork that are bigger than Kilimanjaro and take him away from home 20 hours a day. Their daughter, born in 2003 had enough colic to last any couple a life time but that didn’t stop their son, born in 2006, from following his sister’s lead. And if one more person tells Shannon that one boy child and one girl child equals the “perfect family” Shannon will kick their ass! We had babies because we wanted babies (albeit not colicky ones), not because we wanted a freaking catalogue photo! Shannon usually loves her kids but would gladly trade them in for a couple who didn’t wake up before sunrise every. single. morning. If we make it through one day without any major bodily harm to mother or children then we call it successful parenting. The family can’t WAIT to get out of here, just to live in a house that we own, where the water is not full of lead, and where Colin and Shannon can see each other for more than ten minutes a day!
Ah-hem. That was fun. 
August 21st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
“Armpit of Ontario?” Hello, SOOO funny! I used to live in the Detroit area and we always joked that Toledo, OH, only an hour or so away, was the armpit of the midwest. Really it’s probably Detroit but it’s so much more fun making fun of others!
So you had colicky babies too, huh? Our first was, which begs the question why did we have a second!
August 21st, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I guess we thought we might have better luck the second time. Now we know better!
August 28th, 2007 at 9:07 am
I’m hoping for a better sleeper. But, it’s gotten worse from 1st to 2nd, so the trend is not looking good. But, then I think, “how can it get worse?”.
And speaking of lead, while you’re stressing about your water, I’m stressing about my paint. We had everything nice and painted and sealed up for 6 years. Then our chimmney leaked in one of our major torrential rains, and INTO ANNIKA’S CLOSET!!! So, I washed all the jackets that got wet. Then a chunk about 4 inches long of plaster fell down, making all the clothes (4 shelves worth plus haning items) a tad dusty. It occurred to me later that this wasn’t just plaster, but also lead paint. I have now done 4 or more loads of laundry from her closet, and am about 3/4 of the way through. (She doesn’t have THAT many clothes, but we store the kids’ winter stuff and all the baby linens in there…). I made Greg vaccuum and wipe down everything. I am trying not to be too paranoid. Wish me luck…