Jun 30

So apparently here it is totally kosher to put your junk out on the curb well before garbage day.  Not usually the actual garbage bins, but an old armchair, a TV from three decades ago, random household crap – it’s all good!  And apparently the Garbage Collector People actually take it away!  In SK you’d have to haul that stuff to the dump yourself and pay a fee to dispose of it.  Or break said armchair (or, say, hundreds of pounds of concrete removed from your foundation to make 4 new windows in the basement) into many small pieces and distribute among back alley garbage bins.  Whatever.

Today we were chilling out on the front step and enjoying a little sweet wireless lovin’ (our internet is STILL off. Thanks a lot Bell.  You’ve now been “not interrupting” our service for 3 days.) our neighbour brought out none other than: an armchair, an old PC monitor and an iMac circa 1997.  We kind of laughed at the old iMac and noticed how far they’ve come in ten years.  And not one minute later a half tonne truck comes cruising down the street, passes our neighbour’s house, stops, and backs up to the treasures on the side of the road.  The guy leans out of his open truck window with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and checks out the merchandise.  Next thing we know he hops out of the cab, picks up the iMac (blue, if you were wondering), tosses it in the back of his truck and takes off! 

I almost couldn’t believe it had just happened!  I know lots of people enjoy the occasional “dumpster dive” but I would have been a little embarrassed to pull over my vehicle and do it right in front of an audience!  Wow.  It was a good laugh, anyway.  I’d like to see that guy trying to fire up the old iMac.  I think that would also be a good source of comedy.

Jun 29

Do you ever wish you could go back to a time in your past and do it over?  Make different choices, respond to a situation differently, shake your younger self violently until you smartened up?  I try not to live in the past but I am ALWAYS going over conversations I had in the recent or distant past and coming up with a smarter or wittier or more confident or more caring remark.  I don’t think I tend to put my foot in my mouth too often.  But I always feel that I could have done better.  I worry way too much about what people think when, really, they probably have not given that conversation a second thought. 

When I think back to my high school days I just cringe, remembering how hard I tried to be the “good girl”.  Having been told that a Christian must stand out (I had that “in the world, not OF the world” SO ingrained in my head) I tried too hard to stick out as one who “didn’t do” just about everything and pretended that I didn’t care.  But when I look back at that time I am ashamed of what a poor friend I was.  I am ashamed that it was more important to me that my friends not swear or smoke or drink or that they knew that I was “not into that” that I missed many chances to just be with them and enjoy their company and care for them when they had bad days.  I knew some really great people in high school.  I am not now, nor have I ever been, one to have a lot of friends and hang out in big crowds and party all night long.  But I had a circle of friends who were smart and had goals and cared about people and (mostly) made good choices.  They did some of the typical high school stuff.  But they were good kids and they have grown into some really wonderful adults.

I regret that I was so busy judging and hiding behind the legalism of my religion to really be vulnerable with these people.  Or even just to have a good time.  Although my religious views have changed dramatically in the past ten years I think my values have remained largely the same (ok, a little bit the same).  But I feel like now I have a better grasp of how to be my own person without feeling that everyone around me must share my worldview, or at least pretend to when in my presence.  At this point in my life I absolutely hate it when people feel they have to be fake around me and I wince when I realize that I probably made a lot of my friends feel that they had to do exactly that.  There are a couple of people who I can only hope remember that I was trying, in my awkward, teenage way to be a friend. 

I suspect many of us would like to have a conversation with our teenage selves and try to impart some wisdom.  I’m going to attempt to teach my kids that confidence is not a steamroller that takes down everyone in its path. Confidence is quieter and much more flexible.  Like a bicycle that can change it’s course much more quickly and hugs corners and darts in and out to avoid collision. Does that make any sense? I know most teenagers are so self-involved as they try to figure out how they fit in the world and what they want from it and for it that they have little time or comprehension for this kind of subtlety.  I know I didn’t.  But I can hope that my kids will do better than I did. 

“May of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”
-Fulton Oursler

Words that describe me.  I will try and let go of the mistakes of the past so that I can try and do better in the future.  And when I do not always succeed in the future I will take solace in the words of Oscar Wilde who said “One’s real life is often the life one does not lead.”

Jun 28

Two very important, lifesaving devices at my house have been on the fritz in the last couple days.  And because I love you all I will share the tale!
Yesterday was the hottest day in London since we’ve been here.  It was a sweltering 35 degrees with that nasty, suffocating humidity and not a breeze to be found anywhere. Gross.  Anticipating the heat, my first response in the morning was to turn on the air conditioning.  Unfortunately, there was a noticeable LACK of cold air and the accompanying whirring of the AC unit outside.  Not a happy discovery. At. All.  There wasn’t much I could do at that point and I was going out. So I spent the majority of the day outside of the house and by the time I got home later in the afternoon it was a toasty 28 degrees in the house.  We attempted to call our landlord at home, on his cell, on his wife’s cell.  I was getting set to leave bomb threats on his cell phone and then we finally got in touch with him. He said his father is an electrician or something and was coming into town within the hour and he would come and take a look at it.  That was the best we could do so we just waited. We had some friends over for dinner and tried to ignore the fact that it was almost as hot inside as it was outside.  Ugh.

It finally occurred to us that it might actually be as simple as the breaker having flipped.  So we went to check it. It turns out that the breaker box is actually in the basement suite of the house. Well…some of it is.  It’s complicated, friends.  But the AC is, of course, on the box that’s located in the downstairs suite. So we had to wait for our lovely tenants to get home. Thank GOD they didn’t come home at 3am last night!!!  We were able to fix the problem and the AC purred like a kitten once more.  And then I ran outside and threw myself on it and smothered its whirring metal body with kisses.  (No, I don’t know where my daughter gets her drama-queen genes from!)

Today, with the AC keeping things nice and frosty I sat down at my computer to check some emails.  And the emails, they were not there!  Because the internet was down!  Gah!  So I tried to be patient and hoped that it was just a little bug that would sort itself out in a bit.  But does that EVER happen with internet problems??? NO.  After a couple of hours I called Bell.  The customer service agent had such as strong accent that I could barely understand him. After asking him to repeat himself about a thousand times and half an hour and two kids who were getting antsy I was getting really frustrated. When he put me on hold for the fourth time I had to hang up and hope that my computer geek husband could figure out the problem.  As it turned out, my husband did know exactly what the problem was (something to do with some kind of a switch they were making last night or this morning because we don’t have a phone line with them – a switch which was not supposed to interrupt our service at all!) but had to spend another half an hour trying to convince the agent that this was the actual problem.  It turns out that we are now without internet for two days or so while they try and fix this problem that was not supposed to interrupt our service.  Nice.

I’m sure you’re wondering how it is that I am blogging about this without the internet?  Props go out to someone in our area with a great wireless network!  So here I was this afternoon, with air conditioning AND internet both working.  It was heavenly. Then there was a severe thunderstorm with the thunder and lightening and wind and the branches breaking off and falling on power lines etc. which caused a power outage. And do you know, dear internet, what doesn’t work without power?  Go on! Guess!  Sigh…yes, I know, my life is tragic.  But the power is back on and I am happy once again.  I am developing a theory that starting up a blog is simply giving the universe permission to create “blogworthy” events in your life (see parking lot rage blackout post).  Although I’m sure some of you are wondering how a person can take a power outage and turn it into a four act play.  I’m just gifted.

Jun 27

In the last Kieran has gone from barely being able to take a step on his own to full blown walking. It’s amazing how a light bulb seems to go on and suddenly they just get it!  He still does that jerky, stompish, arms out, zombie walk, but it is sooo cute!  And Avery is so enthusiastic about her brother’s new accomplishment. She cheers him on and announces to me hourly that “Kieran can walk now!  He did such a good job!”.  This morning he was walking behind one of her doll strollers and pushing it/using it for balance.  She was walking alongside him, gently guiding the stroller so he didn’t bump into things and turning it around for him when he ran out of room to walk.  It was really one of those moments when I felt like I was doing a good job with my kids and this is really what I want for them. To care for each other and encourage each other. And really, this is what I hope they will be like as they grow up. I hope that they will respect each others’ choices and enjoy each others’ company.  I hope they will laugh at the same jokes and trust each others’ judgement and value each others’ worldviews. I hope they can argue fairly and know that they will still love one another in the end, even if they disagree.  I know there are so many siblings who don’t have this type of relationship and I’m not really sure how I can best foster that kind of companionship with my kids. But just driving home today and listening to them laugh at the silly faces each was making was encouraging. And at least they won’t be fighting over clothes when they’re teens!

Jun 25

So I whined a bit about my sunburned legs? And then my husband came home.  There are no words…

Jun 25

Today we went to an absolutely delightful beach on the shores of Lake Huron that is just under an hour from London.  The kids had a wonderful time playing in the sand. Kieran ate half the beach. You try convincing a one year old that sand isn’t tasty and delicious!  After the first few mouthfuls I gave in and let him have at it.  What is more tempting than chunks of canteloupe rolled in sand?  I can’t think of anything.

The unfortunate part of today is that I don’t have any pictures because I forgot my camera!  I was kicking myself but we had such a good time that I fully expect to be back there several times this summer. What I DO have a picture of is my lovely, sunburned leg.  Yes, yours truly ignored the apocalyptic warnings of the radio telling me that the UV index was 9 (=very high) today.  I did use sunscreen on my arms and face and basically all exposed skin on my upper body. But, as is my practice, I did not slather the legs.  And I am paying.  Oh, am I paying. They. Are. So. Itchy.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Unfortunately, my kids were also the victims of my delinquent ways today.  My son was “sunscreened” before he took off his shirt and I did not remember to fill in the blanks, as it were.  I thought we had escaped without any real damage because his back looked normal when we left the beach (as did my legs). But when I popped him in the bath tonight to wash off the seven pounds of sand he was sneaking home in his diaper for a midnight snack his poor little back was red as a lobster.  Oh there you are, my old friend guilt!  Avery also was burned on her legs a bit, but luckily not as bad as her mommy.  She spent more time in the water and, apparently, sand makes a fairly effective barrier against sun as well, because her legs were covered in it for a good part of the day.

And because the universe is just, karma reared it’s ugly head in the form of a family of “floaters” in the bath tub. My son took a dump in the tub.  And I meekly bowed my head and accepted my punishment for my bad parenting.  Oh well. At least no one called the cops this time.

I do have to say that the drive to Grand Bend was very interesting. We were driving through farmland and I found it vaguely disorienting because I have spent so much of my life living near farmland, and what I saw today was very different. Different in small ways, but there were enough slight discrepancies that it all added up to a dizzy and bewildering feeling.  Like walking into your house and seeing that your furniture has been rearranged.  There were probably half a dozen small towns that were literally ON the highway between here and Grand Bend.  The highway went right down their main streets.  In SK those towns would usually be a little off the highway.  And there aren’t normally so many grouped so close together. It reminded me of Europe.  And there were trees growing right beside the highway. Lots of them!  Branches hanging over the road and everything!  That was strange.  And the old farmhouses, of which there were many, were brick (no surprise there – just about every house around here is brick).  But what was a surprise, was that there were a number of brick barns.  That seemed strange. But only because I have rarely seen that, especially in Canada.   But it was a beautiful drive and I really enjoyed the scenery.  I love fields of growing things. It reminds me of home and summer and road trips and my wedding day (we had pictures taken by/in wheat fields).  There are lovely rolling hills and lush foliage everywhere.   I look forward to enjoying that drive again soon!  Hopefully next time armed with a gallon of sunscreen.

Jun 23

Dear Ladies,

I know that you are quite young and although I am really only a few years older than you, I probably seem ancient and haggard to your youthful and frequently intoxicated eyes.  Kids will do that to a person.  I know you are just starting to enjoy the freedom of not living in your parents’ homes and I appreciate that. I really do.  I suspect that you are gay and are either trying to hide this from the world or have not yet accepted it yourselves.  I don’t judge you for that. It’s none of my business. But to the one of you who pays rent: I don’t care if your girlfriend is a buddy or a lover, you should be making her pay rent.  She’s here more than you are! 

Since you are now officially “grown ups” and doing grown up things like sleeping off a hangover until noon every single day, it’s time we had a little heart to heart, adult to adult.  It’s time to start acting like adults.  You can’t call my daughter “Princess” and “Sweetheart” like you’re her little old auntie and then come home every night at 3am with 15 of your closest friends, pull into the driveway (which, FYI, is about 18 inches from my head when I’m lying in bed, which I usually am at 3am) with your music blasting, and stand there smoking, drinking, talking boisterously and swearing in your cute-ass little way at the guy you’re currently trying to bag and expect the other grownups living around you not to get a wee bit pissy. Especially when you do it multiple times a night.  Even after you’ve been told to shut the hell up.

I appreciate that you still think that smoking makes you look ultra cool, but I’m getting really sick of my house smelling like an ashtray for days after every time you have friends over.  You really can’t be so stupid as to think that if your friends stand in the back entry smoking that the smoke will not seep under the door (which has a 2 inch gap under it) into the main floor.   Although the fact that you couldn’t identify the air conditioner on the outside of the house does make certain implications about your respective IQs. 

I’m sure you believe that kids are, like, super cute!  But I’m telling you that I have just come through my son’s first year and it wasn’t all fun and games and snappy accessories.  It was crying and colic and leaking boobs and temper tantrums and having an audience every time I pee and my kids are really cute and fashionably dressed but I am so damn tired.  My son started sleeping through the night about a month ago and he is over a year old.  (FYI: That is about 7-9 months later than the “average” baby)  You can’t even begin to estimate how short my patience is for your insensitivity and lack of respect for your fellow tenants these days.  My husband is in a brutally intense program, I am living in a new city, I am overtired and exhausted from the stress of the past several months, and I swear to God if you wake me up in the middle of the night one more frickin’ time I am going to mess you up. 

Kiss, kiss!

Sincerely,
The Bag Who Lives Upstairs.

Jun 23

Best. Idea. Ever. The shopping cart looks like a truck/car on the side.  The only problem is that it has serious steering issues because 1) the cart is at least 50% longer than a normal cart and 2) it has an extra wheel or something.  Other than trying not to knock things off shelves or bang into other shoppers, it was the best shopping trip I’ve ever had (and my kids are pretty good shoppers).  They barely even noticed we were at the store. 

And another lovely picture of my son feeding himself. No, really, guys! I can do this!  I know my mouth is somewhere around here.  I refuse to let anyone else help me because eating is an adventure that is too exciting to pass up.  Oh and let me point at a random part of the house and grunt and whine.  Get me that thing!  I am pointing, dammit! No! Not that! That other thing.   Can’t you tell what I want you morons???  How can people this stupid manage to function?  That’s it, I’m putting in for a transfer.

Jun 22

There’s this mall in London that I’ve been to a couple of times. It’s one of the bigger malls in the city, to my knowledge. But every time I go I get really lost because it is not designed in the typical mall design (read: long corridors, not too many turns).  This mall seems to be designed to keep people from escaping.  Check out the map of the mall and tell me you don’t think that’s ridiculous.

Jun 22

My son is going through an incredibly annoying stage where he is asserting his independence and wants to feed himself.  Even though his fine motor skills leave much to be desired.  Even though most of the applesauce seems to have ended up on the wall.  I ask you, how did he manage to get applesauce on the wall directly behind him?  And on the chair behind his head??? I do not understand the physics of this situation.  Oh, and if you’re wondering why the outlet covers don’t cover the whole electrical outlet, it’s because half the bloody outlets in this house have been installed upside down.  Not all. Just some.  In random locations. Just to make me loseWeight Exercise my mind.  But I will continue on because I have good news, folks!  I finally took some pictures of the house.  I didn’t quite get everything so there will have to be a second part. Hopefully I will remember to do it before we move out.  I kinda forgot that I said I would post these pics for the last, oh, six weeks. But with a stern reprimand gentle reminder from my sister I am back on top of things!  And without further ado…

Here is a picture of our house from the outside.  Notice the small device on the front lawn. It appears to be connected to some kind of tubing through which water is being propelled across the yard.  Must be some strange prairie contraption.  I certainly haven’t seen any more of these objects around London.  There is a suite upstairs (entrance on the right side of the house) and a suite in the basement (entrance off the driveway). We have the whole main floor.  The yard is small compared to what we had in Saskatoon but we have been blessed with beautiful perennial flower beds that seem to be blooming with something different each week. I have really enjoyed it and am truly in awe of people who know enough to create these flower beds.  Our back yard is full of daylilies and roses right now.  It was a mess with the kids toys so I’ll post pics of that in Part II. We don’t actually have any really old trees in our yard but there are many big trees on our street. You can see the edge of one in the top right corner of the picture.  You can also enjoy the tonnes of wires that are hanging over the street.  I can’t remember if I mentioned before that when our moving van arrived it accidentally hit one of these wires that was hanging below it’s legally required height.  We called Bell or whoever was responsible for it that day. They said they’d send someone out next week. No one came. We called the city. They said they’d kick Bell’s ass. No one came.  We called Bell again. It eventually did get repaired after a month or so.  One of our moving crew actually taped up the wire with duct tape so it wouldn’t hang in the street.  In hindsight, we should have let it hang in the street. It would have probably been fixed much faster!

This is just inside the front porch.  It is actually much bigger than I thought it was from the pictures I originally saw.  Big enough to keep a bike in the winter and a nice area for putting on and taking off shoes. I’m trying to ignore the fact that about 40 percent of the little window panes are cracked.

Here is the dining room. Yes, you basically come straight into the dining room. But it’s hard to see in the picture that there actually is a bit of entrance space and there is a “closet” space to the left of the door. No door on the closet but some good shelving and such.  The most annoying feature in this room is of course the fact that there is carpet.  A yucky, old carpet that is getting yuckier by the moment because Kieran insists on throwing most of his meals on the floor.  I have just accepted the fact that we may have to have the carpets steam-cleaned every month all year.

My kitchen is all right. It looks better in the pictures than in person, in fact.  But I’m not whining.  It’s really nice to have that island.  I’m still adjusting to cooking on the gas stove/oven.  Yes, my fridge is kind of in a weird corner. That pillar? Although structurally necessary?  Is in the most awkward spot possible.  I’m starting to get used to it but I bump into it more than I’d like to admit.  I absolutely HATE the counters, however. They were a do-it-yourself project which is supposed to look like granite. It consisted of a sprayed-on layer and then some kind of a clear varnishy type finish.  Unfortunately, something did not go right with the varnish so there are a million little craters in the counter and they get filled up with crap and the counter is rough and uneven. You can’t slide a glass or bowl across it and the edges are reeeeally rough and I keep bumping my insulin pump into it and it’s getting all scratched up.  And there are no handles on the cupboards and drawers on the island.  That is very annoying.  But overall, as I said, it makes a good first impression.  It’s working for us.

Here’s our living room from both angles.  The french doors lead into the master bedroom.  It’s a nice room and there’s not much to whine about here….so…moving on…

The master bedroom here is having some serious decorative issues.  If there was a name for the theme of this room it would be “Paper Bag”.  Somehow everything ended up being this brown colour that is exactly the colour of paper lunch bags.  The curtains (which were here when we moved in), our bedspread, the walls, and the big carpet rolled up in the corner.  The wood all kind of blends in, too. I hung some pictures but it’s not enough. I need some really huge, colourful artwork which I cannot afford, or some other way to spice up the room.  Any suggestions?  Our bedroom always ends up as the last room to be “finished”.

And, finally, our bathroom.  It’s cozy tiny.  If it looks to you like that shelf above the toilet is hanging off the wall then you would be right.  It is mounted in such a way as to hang precariously over the toilet and it’s really heavy.  But we are so pressed for storage that I can’t afford to take it down. Plus it would leave some ugly looking holes in the wall!  There is some shelving to the right of the window in a little nook so that is totally saving my life.  I kind of miss having two bathrooms. But it’s something to look forward to in the next house.

So that’s half the house!  Coming soon, the kids bedroom, playroom and back yard.  I was too lazy to clean up the toys and the kids are sleeping.  Sorry if that ended up being too much whining.  Just chalk it up to my “prairie charm”.  It really is true that you become more of a native of your homeland when in a different place, whether that is a different province or a different country.  It’s really hard not to spend a lot of time pointing out the differences between Saskatchewan and Ontario.  Even though it’s not that I really feel that it is a big deal. It’s just that I’m getting used to a new place and it’s on my mind all the time.  I don’t want to offend my new Ontarian friends so I’ll just have to try and remind myself to keep it under control.  Sometimes it’s easier to distract myself from missing home if I dwell on trivial things.  Anyway, hope you enjoyed the tour.  Feel free to drop in any time!

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