Fiddler on the Roof is one of my all-time favorite movies.  If you aren’t a fan of musicals you probably wouldn’t appreciate it but I absolutely LOVE it.  One of the main themes of the movie is the stabilizing force of tradiiton in our lives and how and when it is appropriate, and even necessary to break with tradition.  The idea of family traditions has popped up in some different parenting literature that I have been reading recently and so it has been on my mind.  These different sources have suggested that traditions, whether as big as an annual family vacation or as little as eating pancakes on Sunday morning, create a sense of safety and stability for children.  So I have been considering the rituals of my childhood and wondering which of these are traditions I would like to carry on with my own family and which new traditions might be worth introducing.

Many of my favorite family memories involve our Christmas traditions.  My mom would bake with us and make chocolates in preparation for Christmas parties, decorating the tree at the beginning of December, the home-made advent calendar that we reused, year after year, the Christmas eve tradition of attending church, then touring the city to look at Christmas lights and then home to eat special goodies by the light of the Christmas tree, enjoying Christmas music and each other’s company.  In these times, differences were laid aside.  Or at least any squabbling or other negative happenings do not inhabit my memory of those times.  It elicits feelings of warmth, contentment and genuine appreciation of my family.  When I consider these times now I feel that they somehow help counteract the blatant commercialism of that time of year.  They are rituals that I will attempt to continue.

Of course many traditions take place around holidays but there are some other ones that stick out. My mom took me (and my sisters) each on a special weekend trip when we hit age 13 as a sort of “rite of passage” into adolescence.  It wasn’t anything crazy - just to Regina to stay in a hotel and do some shopping. But it made me feel special and grown up and it spoke words of reassurance to me.  I knew I could always trust my mother and that I was very important to her.  In fact, our very common ritual of going out for “coffee” taught me the same thing on a smaller scale.  It was, and still is, in that setting where we learned about our family, the history, the secrets, where we learned about life and death, joy and sorrow and God and friends and expectations and disappointment and love and compassion.  We fought and laughed and cried and sighed and shared.  I still look forward to these moments with my mom and sisters and I already enjoy them with my daughter. This is one tradition that is very important to me and I intend to continue as long as I draw breath.

In earlier years, before sleeping in became exceedlingly important to keeping the teenage hormones under control, my dad used to make breakfast most Saturday mornings.  I have some fond memories of watching the Bugs Bunny & Tweety show to the smell of hashbrowns cooking.  It was a small thing but I think I agree with the “professional” assessment that it makes kids feel safe to know what’s coming.  The world can be scary and unpredictable.  It makes a big difference to have certain things you can depend on.  Family should be one of them and if these little moments can birth an atmosphere of protection and love for my children I’m going to do my best to make it work.