Jun 30

We have had cable TV for the last month to entertain me during the many hours I spend sitting and breastfeeding and to keep Avery entertained in the many hours that she is being neglected.  Poor child.

But one of the benefits of cable has been that I was inspired to organize my junk drawer.  A show I watched had a segment about the junk drawer that everyone has – you know… the catchall for paper clips and scissors and every little receipt and piece of crap that we find lying around and can’t think of a place to put?  Anyway, I am very proud of this organization. I got rid of so much crap out of that drawer.  I had no idea that I actually owned 3 bottles of white out and a white out pen.  And there were 5 practically brand new erasers in there!  All in all, I think the 10 bucks we spent to share the cable with our basement tenants was worth it.

Jun 28

It’s 25.8 degrees in our house right now. At 4:02am. That is with the windows and blinds closed all day.  Some details are better left unknown.

Jun 22

I have been reflecting on the changing body image women have to learn to embrace when they have a baby. Frankly, it’s hard not to right now. In a world that places so much emphasis on being extremely thin, it is hard to fully accept the fact that your body is going to be stretched to oblivion. And if that isn’t enough, once the baby is born we must deal with the extra weight and stretched out, wrinkled, and scarred skin that is left behind.

Yes, most of us get back to (or at least in the neighborhood of) our previous weight and shape, but sometimes I wonder if the damage done to my psyche is reversible.  How do I appreciate my fluctuating shape, even when I am less than pleased with it?  I guess I’m trying to start with acknowledging the fact that my body was designed to be flexible and that is something our society often ignores. 

Media hardly portrays pregnancy fairly.  There has been a lot of focus on celebrity pregnancies in the last couple of years but when you can afford to buy designer maternity clothes and have people to dress you and make you look perfect it is easy to make pregnancy look like a snap.  And when you can do the same in the ugly fourth trimester (the several months following the birth) then those of us who are mere mortals and are dealing with sleep deprivation, baby spit-up, floppy stomachs and leaking boobs run out of patience with our bodies really quickly.  We can never measure up.  If we pay too much attention to the media it is easy to believe that women go from 80 pounds to 8 months pregnant over night and snap back to their previous shape faster than you can say “cluster feeding”.  But the reality is that with this changing shape and it’s ability to create life, are months of akward, in-between stages where I am unsatisfied with my body.   Of course, my husband would question whether I ever actually leave these phases of dissatisfaction.  I suppose that is a challenge to me to gain an appreciation for myself, regardless of which part of “The Amazing Elastic Woman” routine I am currently performing.

Jun 20

Kieran is almost three weeks old! Time is flying this time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting slightly more sleep or because I don’t have as much time to just focus on him. Probably a bit of both.

I am constantly amazed at how quickly life changes. And how quickly we adjust. After Avery was born I kept wondering what exactly I used to do with all my time before she came into my life. Now I find myself pondering what I did with my time when I had just one kid and why did I find one child so much work? Not to insult my friends with one kid because one kid is a tonne of work. I do remember some of my friends with two kids mentioning this phenomenon to me before Kieran was born and I knew that it would be this way, and yet I didn’t really “know” until I was living the “two kids” life. It’s a testament to how quickly we do adapt that I really can hardly remember what I used to do. Not sure if that is good or bad. But I’m looking at the dimple in Kieran’s cheek and thinking it doesn’t really matter.

Jun 19
 


Love it!

Jun 15

An interesting post about Stephen Colbert I read on someone else’s blog.

Jun 14

“Anxiety is a pre-emergent creaticide.”

[Edit: Wish I could remember where I found this!]

Jun 14

This is an interesting meme I found on a different blog.  You are supposed to take your answer for each question and then do a search for images on google.  You are supposed to pick one of the first ten images that you get.

1. What makes you happy?

2. What are you most ashamed of in yourself?

3.  Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

4. What is the first thing you remember?

5. What has gotten you through your darkest hour?

6. What did your parents house smell like?

7. What word do you use far too often?

8.  What’s one word you associate with your best-kept secret?

9.  One word describing a recurrent theme in your dreams.

10. What disgusts you in others?

11. One word that describes your first lover.

Jun 12

I can’t believe this. Kieran has already cut a tooth. In fact, I think he was born with the tooth cut! Statistically this is very rare. Only something like 1 in 2000 babies is born with a tooth! It’s kind of sad in a way. I missed out on the whole process of the first tooth. And he even picked a weird one to do first. It’s one of his upper canines which don’t normally errupt until 16-22 months. This kid is full of surprises!

[Edit: Kieran did NOT actually have a tooth at birth. He had some kind of a cyst on his gum which looked EXACTLY like a newly cut tooth.]

Jun 11

Having a boy is a whole new experience. I have been peed and pooped on more in the past week than my daughter’s whole life!   Kieran seems to just wait for an opportunity to let it fly. It would be funny if we weren’t changing clothes so frequently and having to scrub poop stains out of everything. Just part of the fun of life with a baby. I just have to get used to it again.

I’m also trying to train myself not to be so edgy this time around. Whenever Avery cried or just started to fuss a tiny bit my adrenaline started pumping and my blood pressure started to rise and I had to try and do something to calm her.  Of course part of this was that she was a pretty fussy and needy baby.  But I know that it kind of became a bad habit and I became a miserable person, especially to my hubby. So I am trying to train myself not to get so worked up.  I also was so sleep deprived because I would lie awake and just wait for the baby to start crying, my ears tuned to the slightest sound.  Now I am determined to focus on different things and allow myself to rest.  There are a lot of things you figure out the second time around. We’ll see how much success I have putting them into practise.

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