Nov 30

I got my insulin pump hooked up on Monday. For the last two days it just had a saline solution in it instead of insulin so that I couldn’t hurt myself while I’m getting used to the pump. So I still did shots those two days. But today I filled the pump with insulin. It will be my first shot-free day since I was 12 years old. Verrrry strange. It’s going to take some time to get used to having the pump connected to me and how to dress accordingly and how to deal with the tubing. But it’s really exciting! It’s like having a little taste of what it would feel like to not be a diabetic. Very liberating!

Also, I am finally starting to feel less nauseated and tomorrow I am officially done my first trimester of the pregnancy which is exciting because it means I am out of the “danger zone” as far as miscarriages, etc. So life is looking up for me these days and I am feeling good!

Nov 28

There is a new-ish restaurant on 22nd street that is driving me nuts. It’s called “Seven Dwarf’s Chinese Buffet” or something like that. The main problem with this is that they put the singular form of the word dwarf instead of the plural dwarves. So it seem like it’s a chinese buffet belonging to a single dwarf named Seven. Some weird combination of the Borg from start trek and a blatantly European fairytale. It just seems a bit weird. Why would a restaurant with a primarily asian menu use the Seven Dwarves as their name. I do not associate this fairytale with Asian culture and food in any way and it is just confusing and annoying. I am really anal.

Nov 22

I’m watching my two year old stand in front of a mirror. It is really entertaining to watch as she examines her face and body from all angles. She contorts her face into strange shapes and claps her hands with delight at this Lose Weight Exercise. She opens her mouth as wide as she can and peers inside. She dances and twists and sways, observing her movements carefully. I was thinking “how nice to feel so uninhibited” but really if we’re honest, we all do it. Just not in front of an audience. :)

An update on the insulin pump: It has arrived and I will be starting to use it next week. I am a little bit nervous about it but hopefully it will go smoothly.

Nov 14

I’ve been having really vivid dreams lately. I don’t usually remember my dreams so I know this is a result of being pregnant. But it is kinda scary. A lot of the dreams have been very violent or scary. Last night I had this dream about a boy being held in a Juvenile Detention Center except the prison guard was torturing and abusing all the prisoners. I dreamed an escape for him but the whole thing was very tense. I wake up not rested from these dreams. What does this mean for my baby? Am I carrying a serial killer? Or are the hormones just really this insane and they’re turning me into a crazy person?

Nov 9

A friend of mine lost her baby today in the 15th or 16th week of her pregnancy. She has lost something like 7 babies now. None of the pregnancies made it past 21 weeks. My heart aches for her. She and her husband want a baby so badly and it takes courage to keep trying. I admire their perseverance but I wonder how much more of this they can take. What can you say to a person when you represent exactly what she is trying to achieve? I am only 8 weeks pregnant and anything could happen yet. I could loseWeight Exercise my baby, too. But I already have one child and there is no reason to expect that I will miscarry. My friend’s body is failing her over and over again. I can only imagine the frustration and anger she and her husband must be experiencing. I have been feeling sorry for myself the last 2 days because I was turned down by the Kinsmen Foundation. They won’t be giving me money for an insulin pump. But I still have an avenue with the people who have offered to donate money to me. That seems so shallow now, in light of the suffering this couple is going through. How can I feel sorry for myself when they have lost seven children? Seven! Life just isn’t fair.

Nov 5

So I threw up this morning. Sorry, was that TMI?  And I did it so violently that I burst all the little blood vessels around my eyes. I feel like a walking horror movie. It’s really not all that bad. It just looks like a bunch of tiny red spots on my skin on my eyelids and under my eyes. But seriously, who would sign up for this? I think this whole pregnancy thing could have a much better marketing campaign.

Nov 3

I’m not sure if this is me…

The Maid of Honor
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMf) 

 

Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor. 

Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a “perfect catch”–and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You’re careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.

Your exact opposite:
Half-cocked

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

 

We’ve deduced you’re fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect…so you can respect yourself. 

Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You’re just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.

ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah, The 5-Night Stand, The Vapor Trail, The Bachelor

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

 
Nov 1

As usual, Waiterrant hit another home run with his most recent post. It’s about Christians reacting poorly to a variety of issues, abortion being one of the highlighted issues. I particularly enjoyed what he said through his godfather’s speech about the purposes and attitudes in people’s hearts when they protest abortion. It’s not about moral superiority but it very frequently becomes so. I thought it was well put and it certainly expresses my sentiments.

The most recent episode of the West Wing discussed abortion quite a bit and I really appreciated the way they treated it. I appreciate what Jimmy Smits’ character, the democratic candidate Matthew Santos, had to
say. He basically said that he believes abortion should be legal and safe and should happen a lot less than it does and I think that is right on. Nobody wants more abortions to happen. That is a totally revolutionary idea, isn’t it? It suggests that pro-lifers and pro-choicers actually have a lot in common. Neither group is out there saying “We need more people to have abortions!”. They disagree over the morality of the issue and this is no small debate, but I find it amazing the turnaround that takes place in people’s hearts when they can find things that they agree on with people who they think are so far from their point of view. Who knew? We actually found something we can agree on!