Dear Chosen Child,

This week we received word that we are officially registered in your country of birth. We are now officially waiting. Expecting. For several weeks already, in fact. We were told that we were registered as of August 5. I feel like I did when I learned I was pregnant – like something amazing was going on for quite some time without my knowledge, a secret miracle.

Because, as I’ve said before, sweet child, I may not carry you in my body, but I carry you in my heart. At the risk of sounding overly sappy or romanticizing the waiting process, I am finding my thoughts and emotions very similar to when I was pregnant with your brother and sister. You are always there in the back of my mind, a possibility hovering in the mist.

Whenever I imagine the future you are always in the picture. When I think of Christmases and family holidays and going to the park and out for dinner and the first day of school and so many every day things, I think of you and how you will fit into us. Every time I pack up another bag of your sister’s clothes I think of you and imagine dressing you in them some day, deciding which precious items I will keep for you. When I sort through toys that are no longer used I picture you using them. I speculate about what you will like and what your personality will be, how you get along with Avery and Kieran, and just what it will be like when you are finally here, a part of us. No matter which way a child comes to you, expecting is basically the same. Anticipation. Imagination. Hope. Joy.

Love,
Mommy

PS-This is us, waiting for you to come home.

adoption, dear chosen child | 2 Comments »

It’s time for everyone’s favourite game: me talking about my recent favourite children’s books! What? that’s not everyone’s favourite game? Ok, just mine then. I can’t help it. The best ways to find great books are sheer luck and recommendations from friends. All of these were discovered by one of these two methods. So let me share a few of our recent favourites with you:

Ballerino Nate by Kimberly Bradley: There are plenty of books about ballet and dancing and pink and glitter and tutus and every single one of them is for and about girls.  As the parent of a little boy who takes ballet I was excited to find this book on the shelves of my local library. My son has never expressed any concerns that ballet is just for girls or that taking ballet somehow makes him girly, however reading this book just reinforced for him that dancing is for everyone and that he should be proud to dance. This book features a boy who loves to dance but is worried that taking ballet lessons will mean he has to wear dresses and pink shoes like a girl and his older brother who, in the stereotypical manner, teases him for wanting to dance.  My son loved reading this story and I loved reading a story that shows my kids that everyone can enjoy dancing and no one should feel ashamed to do what they love. Also, I learned that a Ballerino is the male version of a Ballerina. Did you know that? I didn’t!

Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson: I’ve featured books by Julia Donaldson before. I love her books. The stories are quirky and the rhyme is well-crafted and they are always popular in our house. This one was a major winner. The cute story of a witch who keeps losing parts of her costume and when she lands her broom to retrieve them, picks up extra passengers. The last page features a sweet-looking ride that my son never failed to say he wished we had in our closet!

Minnie’s Diner by Dayle Ann Dodds: This book is a fun to read that teaches kids about math concepts as family members enter a diner and order twice as much as the “brother before”. My kids wanted me to read it to them over and over. I’m pretty sure Dayle Ann Dodds has written other books and I’m going to be looking for them next time I’m at the library.

How to Raise Mom and Dad by Josh Lerman: Any book that features some kind of role reversal is usually a hit at my house. In How to Raise Mom and Dad a little girl instructs her younger brother (my kids immediately latched on as this is the structure of our family, too) in the proper training of their parents. Particularly funny was the scene where she reminds her brother to splash the water out of the tub as this will help keep the floor clean and mom and dad won’t have to clean it and running around naked after the bath keeps them from having to dirty a towel to dry you off. This could have been our bathroom any night of the week.

Mary and the Mouse, The Mouse and Mary by Beverly Donofrio and Barbara McClintock: I can’t really tell you why I like this book. The story is not at all complex but is somehow still engaging and I love the whimsical idea of a little girl and a little mouse living life side by side and never really interacting but being aware of each other and the way their lives are intertwined. It feels like a book that has been around for generations but it’s only a couple years old. A darling read.

A isn’t for Fox: An Isn’t Alphabet by Wendy Ulmer: A twist on the classic Alphabet book. We love the anti-alphabet book around here.

White is for Blueberry by George Shannon: As above, a twist on the classic colour book. A simple read but my kids love trying to figure out how white could possibly apply to blueberries and every other colour surprise.

It’s Not Fair by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld: This was another library find that I just enjoyed – maybe more than my kids – because it pointed out that life isn’t fair. I guess I hoped maybe it would remind my kids that when the whine constantly about who has what and who went first and who got more that it really doesn’t mean anything and in the end we need to get the hell over it. Only it says that in a more kid-friendly way.

Alternative ABCs by Dave Parmley and Eric Ruffing: Alternative ABCs is a board book and while we are no longer in the board book stage around here I did recently purchase this book as a baby gift and I absolutely love it. It’s way more fun than your standard baby ABCs where V is for vegetarian and S is for skull and G is for graffiti.  I think it is a great way to branch away from the obvious A is for Apple.

The Day the Babies Crawled Away by Peggy Rathmann: This charming book has intriguing illustrations that are all done as silhouettes. The story of babies who are crawling away from their adults and only a young child who chases them to save them from certain peril is captured perfectly in this unique illustration style. You will enjoy reading this one, I guarantee it!

People by Peter Spier: I love this book. Can I say how much I love it? I love that it is sold at the Ten Thousand Villages MCC store by peace-loving, tolerance promoting, globally aware Mennonites. I love that it illustrates the many ways people in this world live. I love that it talks about different religions, cultural traditions, languages, homes, dress, games, skin colours and the many other ways people are different. I love that it also talks about the many ways we are the same. I love that it does so in a way that neither judges or condemns any kind of religious or cultural practice and points out one of the most important ideas that I believe makes healthy and fair-minded people, which is: If you were looking at yourself from the perspective of a different culture, you would look as funny as many of these people may seem to you right now. In other words, let’s all try and practice seeing the world from another person’s perspective. Wouldn’t that make the world a different place if we all tried that more frequently? I love this book. And my kids love it too. It is totally simple but it teaches incredibly important lessons. My kids love seeing the different ways people dress and talk and live their lives around the world.

If the World Were a Village by David J. Smith: I’m not sure my kids are quite old enough to understand the complete message of this book yet, but they still found it interesting. It illustrates the statistics of the world by shrinking it down to the size of a 100 person village. In that 100 person village, how many would be Asian? How many would be Muslim? How many would own cars? How many would have clean water to drink? It’s a very interesting perspective on the world and it really hits home that the way we live is not at all the global “norm”. Definitely an educational and interesting read.

Children Around the World by Donata Montanari: This is a great book for young children, introducing them to a number of fictional children from different countries around the world. Each child tells the reader some very simple facts about their life including the types of food they eat, where they go to school, what they do for fun, what kind of a family they have and what kinds of activities are part of a normal day for them. The illustrations are beautiful and interesting and my kids find it intriguing

Children Just Like Me by Barnabas Kindersley: This one has been around for a while already but it is such a fantastic way for kids to learn about different cultures. This book is less a “storybook” and more the type of book you sit down with and just flip through for a while and come back to again later. It is much longer and much more detailed than some of the other books I mentioned above. It is better for children who are a bit older and capable of reading on their own. My six year old likes to look through it although sometimes her attention is distracted after a few pages. The book covers several countries in each continent, one by one. The author actually travelled around the world, meeting and interviewing the children photographed in the story and just reading his own thoughts on the experience is fascinating. You see photographs of where the children live, go to school, the kinds of clothes they where, what they hope to do when they grow up, what kinds of pets they have, what games they play, what chores they do. It is a very thorough look into each child’s life in a very small amount of space. You could come back to this book one hundred times and find something new and interesting every time.

As you can see, we have been trying to expand our children’s view of the world by reading more books about people around the world and how they live. I read not too long ago that it is not enough to simply not express racism or prejudice.  We need to actually spend time educating our children about the different kinds of people they will meet in the world. It is not enough to NOT say “People with _____ skin are bad.” We must also tell them “All kinds of skin are beautiful.  There are many different colours of people but we all have the same kinds of feelings inside.” So that is part of why we have been on the recent kick. Of course we have the adoption to think of. Eventually our children will have a sibling who may have a different skin colour from them and so we are trying to find ways to expose them to differences. Since we live in a predominantly white part of the world, and a less culturally diverse city than many, we are doing what we can with books. Isn’t the library fantastic?

I hope this has been moderately interesting for you guys. If you have kids, hopefully you have seen one or two books you can consider checking out of your own local library. Enjoy!

books | 3 Comments »

Ever have one of those nightmares where someone says “Hey! Is that your kid up there?” and you look over and your child is doing something incredibly dangerous and stupid?Me either.*

*I realize she isn’t that high. This is a recreation of actual events and she is only as high as I would let her climb for the purposes of a blog post photo. In reality, my kid was about her body’s length from the flag when I was alerted to the situation. OMG!

Avery, not that it happened to me | 2 Comments »

Some people need to learn things the hard way. Like when everyone tells the m something is a bad idea they truly believe that they are somehow different or their circumstances will somehow preclude them from suffering the same consequences as every person making that same choice before them.

Some people insist on signing their children up for swimming lessons at outdoor pools. And those people are almost always the people whose children are the biggest babies ever when it comes to getting wet in the rain or being cold or are just plain anxious in the water.

Some people fret over the weather forecast for days before swimming lessons start, checking them every hour for days with a fervour normally reserved for outdoor parties or holidays. And when they realize that it really and truly is going to pour on Day 1 of swimming lessons they try to talk to their children before swimming to prepare them for the expected inclement weather and to help them approach this as fun! and exciting! and an adventure! rather than with weeping and gnashing of chattering teeth and rending of garments.

Some people might feel slightly less bad when they get to swimming lessons and see many other children looking just a hair less than completely miserable and parents looking frazzled and glassy-eyed and praying that this won’t be a complete disaster.

Some people might imagine their children getting worked up as it sinks in that they will be going out into the rain in 14 degree weather with very little on in the way of clothing. They might picture the freak-out that will follow as they actually venture out into that rain with a teacher who is just barely out of high school and knows precisely nothing about young children and the anticipation of trying to comfort a wet, crying child while still remaining firm and positive and convincing them to go back out and try again might cause them to begin to hyperventilate.

Some people might be more than a little shocked when the whole thing goes off without a hitch despite poor conditions and especially dumbfounded when their children proclaim their excitement at coming back again tomorrow!

Not that it happened to me. I’m just saying, some peoples’ kids are probably the type to have a total fit on a sunny hot day, instead of a cold, rainy one.

not that it happened to me | 2 Comments »

My daughter quite enjoys drawing and we, like most parents, are frequently in danger of drowning in a flood of “artwork”. So I thought taking pictures of some of her latest drawings was a good way to overcome the guilt of regularly throwing her precious creations in the recycling bin. But it turns out that I am a really awful person and the more I looked at these drawings, the funnier they became. So I decided to do the logical thing and share them with the internet. (Dear Grown-up Avery, I apologize. This is way out of line.)

But really, you guys need to see these!

This is meant to be Batman. During her brother’s recent Batman obsession Avery began drawing pictures of the beloved superhero for her brother. The hubby has taken to calling him Captain Cannabis as the emblem on his chest almost always comes out looking more like a marijuana leaf than a bat. No wonder Batman isn’t ashamed to be seen in public in satin underpants and a plastic utility belt! A lot of things seem logical when you are high as a kite!

Awwww…a child’s tribute to diversity! Isn’t that touching? We are all different in our world. That is, where different means we all carry Canadian (Cannabis, again) flags and are blond and blue-eyed. Well, I guess the fellow on the left is a little different – he only has one eye. We need to accept all kinds of lifestyle choices, people!

Nothing says Teacher appreciation like “You are the #1 best teacher I’ve ever had! At least, so far. I mean I’m only in grade 1 so it could get better than you. But you were really the best of the two teachers I’ve had so far!”

I find this picture extremely disturbing and I can’t really put my finger on the reason. Perhaps the overwhelming need of all these inanimate objects to introduce themselves. Or the inherent irrationality of introducing themselves as what they are? It’s like me saying “Hi! I am woman!” A little off, no?

This picture hung happily on our fridge for quite some time before a family friend was over and ruined it by asking if our daughter had drawn Buzz Lightyear in an anatomically correct way? I’m almost certain the – erm-object on Buzz’ belt is meant to be a tiny rocket ship. But it certainly does look somewhat…inappropriate, doesn’t it? Also, Buzz appears to have a caterpillar for a nose. And Jessie has something questionable going on in her belt-buckle region as well. Oh. My.

Avery | 10 Comments »

We’ve all used the word “someday” in a sentence.

“Some day I’d like to…”

“Some day I won’t…”

“Some day I’ll go…”

“Some day I’ll try…”

For many of us “someday” can become a cop-out, a way to put off trying.  Of course, I never procrastinate am just as guilty of putting off my somedays as anyone else. If you, like me, need a little guidance in finding a way to achieve your goals then let me introduce you to Defining Someday:

Last year I had the privilege of editing the manuscript for this book, written by my friend Danielle Voisin. It was a huge honour to be involved in the process and by giving me the opportunity to edit her book, Danielle helped me achieve one of my own Someday goals!

Danielle is one of the most driven, enthusiastic, and inspiring young women I’ve ever met. She is fearless and her success is entirely due to her careful planning and systematic approach to achieving her goals. I’m not going to lie, she is one very determined lady, but her process is very concise and lucky for all of us, she is sharing her method with us in her new book!

Defining Someday is all about not putting off your dreams for “someday” in the future but overcoming the obstacles that are stopping you from achieving them, whether they are in your head, your bank account, or your plan. This book helps the reader to fully define their “someday” goals and develop a plan to make them happen.

If you are anything like me, then the idea of self-help literature is not necessarily up your alley. The best thing about Defining Someday is it’s written in the format of novel with a main character who is struggling through his own personal goal-achievement crisis. It is about a hundred times more relatable than any other book you’ve read in this genre and you aren’t going to want to miss reading it!

You can purchase the book in both electronic and print versions on Danielle’s website. You should also check out her blog, also entitled Defining Someday, which is full of helpful hints for pushing on to make your dreams a reality. I promise you won’t be disappointed! This is one author who practices what she preaches. You can even read Danielle’s own “Someday List” where she tracks her goals and her progress towards achieving them. If you’re looking for inspiration and a little direction then this book is for you. By the time you get to the last page you will be ready and equipped to go out and conquer the world! Off you go now!

books | 1 Comment »

Dear Avery,

In the last week you learned to ride your bike without training wheels. I can’t tell you how proud I was to see you finally get the hang of it. You’ve been working on it for a couple of summers now and there was more than one day when you cried in frustration and at least one day when you insisted you would never be able to do it. So when you were finally able to get going on that bike the victory in your face was pure joy for both of us. I’m not ashamed to say I shed a tear or too when you finally got it.

Every day you take another step away from me. You began by riding your bike up and down the sidewalk in front of our house and the house next door.  You soon graduated to going up and down the sidewalk the full length of the street. But before long that wasn’t far enough. You began to beg to go around the block alone. This is something we’ve never let you do for several reasons. First, your sense of direction is not yet that great. Second, we live on a fairly large, and not exactly rectangular block. Third, the last time I walked around the block with you allowing you to “lead the way” you would have made half a dozen wrong turns and ended up somewhere across the river if I hadn’t been there to keep you on the right path. But, after biking around the block with Daddy once, I finally relented and gave my permission for you to go around the block by yourself. Once.

Every day you take another step away from me. In a few minutes you were back and breathless and triumphant. “I didn’t fall once!” you told me excitedly. “Can I go again?” So you went again. And again. And again and again and again. The next day you went at it again. Yesterday you must have gone around the block 25 or 30 times.

Every day you take another step away from me. Independence is addictive. You are now hooked on the sweet taste of freedom and I would be a fool not to recognize that there is no turning back. I thought walking was independence. Then I thought being potty-trained was independence. And then I thought starting school was really truly independence because you would be off all day doing things without me. But this really feels like IT. For the first time you can take yourself places under your own power. Of course we have rules about where and when you can take off but suddenly this whole new world has opened up to you and there’s no going back and you are stepping away from me again.

This independence thing is hard for me. As much as I want to always keep you within eyesight I am forcing myself to keep practicing letting you go because the satisfaction and pride in your eyes when you succeed feels marginally better than wrapping you in bubble wrap and holding you close to keep you from getting hurt. But I’m not going to lie, I am not loving this.

Every day you take another step away from me and even though I don’t like it and I want to keep you close, I couldn’t be prouder when I watch you go. I love you sweet girl.

Love,
Mommy

Avery, mommy stuff | 3 Comments »

So I wanted to update y’all on Antageddon 2010. I wanted to. HOWEVER, since it has been raining pretty much 30 hours a day for as long as I can remember. Which one might imagine would drown all the little bastards right but I’m pretty sure our particular brand of ants are resilient enough to withstand a flood of biblical proportions.

Nonetheless, we did feel like we were starting to make a bit of progress in the War On Ants before the floods came upon us so we’re hoping that if we keep up with the 14 different ant-killing methods we were using that we will be able to reclaim our yard for the good guys (that would be us).

We managed to successfully pull off Kieran’s birthday party this weekend which was stressing me out because I had wanted to have it outside and normally you can depend on relative warmth and excessive sunshine in June in the prairies. Alas, it was not to be. With a forecast of nothing but rain for the foreseeable future I was able to accept that we would not be partying outside this year and I got my papier mache on. I made pinatas!

And I don’t mind saying they were a tremendous success! We used the pinata loot as goodie bag fillers so the kids all collected their own treats after each one broke. Because the pinatas were very nearly free to make I was able to spend money on buying good candy instead of that crappy pinata candy that you can buy at stores. They were absolutely perfect for the age of kids we had, not breaking too easily but also not being so hard that a 4 year old couldn’t possibly break it open.

Let me tell you, you haven’t know fear unless you’re a man standing on chair and holding a pinata while a number of four year boys swings a plastic bat directly at your junk as hard as they can.

The hubby is very brave.

This year the request was for a Batman cake and after searching out a simple idea for a Batman themed cake I was fairly happy with the outcome:

Please ignore the rather wobbly outlines of the cityscape. I bought super strength icing colour to get the perfect royal blue and black colour. This was the result:

And if that’s what it did to their tongues then you can imagine why it was no surprise when we woke up the next morning to our son yelling excitedly “MOM! DAD! COME AND LOOK! MY POOP IS BLUE!!!!“. Excellent.

But what I’d really like to know is how my baby…

…became a Batman-costume-wearing, mini-golf-playing, bike-riding, joke-telling, sweet, beautiful boy?

ants, Kieran, yard | 6 Comments »